Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

29 July 2009

This Is Hard

Last night I dreamt about Andrew again. I suppose this kind of thing doesn't really go away.

Losing him continues to hurt. It is hard for me to talk about, I guess, but I feel like everyone is sick of hearing about it anyway. Funny how that happens. But I am not over it. I am still seriously grieving.

I finally watched his movie The New Twenty, too, which I recommend if you knew Andrew (I don't recommend it if you didn't know him: it's kind of a mess).


  1. Take it easy on yourself. You feel what you feel until you don't. Feeling sad, angry, numb, guilty, anxious... it's all normal. Be kind to yourself, be honest about what you feel, talk about it with people who care about you...

  2. When I was 16 years old my best friend committed suicide, and now, nine years later, I still occasionally have dreams of her, dreams which I awake from thinking they were real and she was still alive. The difference now, with time, is that I can think of her and those dreams with fondness instead of intense grief and sorrow. I will always miss her and she will always be in my heart, but that grief that used to control my life slowly dissapated over the years.

    Don't worry about if people are sick of hearing about it or not. Talking about how you feel is the best way to deal with grief. Know that there are people out there who are willing to talk to and listen to you are who care.