Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

26 June 2025

William Tell (2024)

Nick Hamm's William Tell has no right to be as boring as it is. It's a shame, too: I love me a good medieval tale.

I think the real issue with this movie is that it’s, like, about politics and freedom, but in this movie there is no real sense of “the Swiss” as a nation or who the Hapsburg villains are or what the difference is between an “Austrian” and a “Swiss”. It’s all so general here, and it's not like anyone is visually different from anyone else. The scenery is gorgeous, of course—it may, indeed, be the movie's chief advantage. But I found it pretty difficult to identify with the struggle for “freedom” here. This is not helped by the complete lack of any geographical specificity whatsoever. For example, it takes no time for anyone to get anywhere in this movie. Little titles pop up at the beginning. We’re in x city or y town. Fine. But where is that in relation to where these troops are garrisoned? What on earth is happening? 

Also… William Tell purports to be an anti-war film—the central character legitimately has war trauma and considers deeply whether or not he should go to war again—but, like almost all anti-war films, William Tell is a pro-war film after all, delighting in violence and celebrating its clever execution (but only, of course, when the “good” people are violence’s perpetrators). 

The boredom is the worst part though. That’s the cardinal sin. One can forgive everything else, but this is boring.

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