Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

17 June 2011

Story Time

So I was at Costco today buying a pizza for $7 and a bottle of Beaujolais-Villages for $10.

Because I'm me.

And in the checkout line, the woman in front of me has the same pizza as I do as well as an enormous jug of olive oil and a very large tub of mayonnaise (nobody needs that much mayonnaise).

So the woman (who is in her late fifties, I'd guess) gives me a little look when she sees my bottle of wine and pizza. And because I am a troublemaker I say, in a friendly manner, I'm obviously about to have a fantastic evening.

I see that, she says, I was thinking I might add my pizza to yours and see what we can cook up together.

As long as we involve that tub of mayonnaise, I say, I think this is a great idea.

We laugh and then continue to chat in the line. She offers me a coupon for the pizza (you don't need them at Costco, so I declined), and when the cashier asks her if the mayonnaise is hers, she says yes, and the one pizza is mine but the other pizza, here, is my friend's. We laugh again. We are having a great time in this checkout line.

But she is taking a little too long in the line for the cashier, and then she forgets to hit the last button on the little credit-card apparatus. The cashier looks at her impatiently: Do you want cash back?

No, she says, Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. And then she refers to me, this young man just got me going! 

I was cracking up.

And the cashier was not having it. Have a good day sir, he says.

Thanks. I will.