Gladiator II (2024)

Gladiator II doesn’t quite work in all the ways it wants to, but it works in a lot of those ways. This is a big, soulless spectacle in the vein of Ridley Scott’s most recent outing, Napoleon, but to be generous, Gladiator II is much much better than last year’s Ridley Scott film. Still, this thing is big and nonsensical and soulless, and one even has trouble figuring out who to root for. 

Gladiator II's ostensible protagonist, Hanno, tells us very little about what he wants, and so although we admire him, he is hard to love. There's also Pedro Pascal's general something-or-other, but he's not a character who makes much sense, actually. He strains credibility in that he's a ruthlessly bloody general working in the service of Rome who seems to have no ambition except to do the right thing. The film’s most compelling character is Denzel Washington’s Macrinus, and even when he’s behaving very badly, it’s difficult to turn on someone so charismatic. Perhaps this makes me more of an ancient Roman than a morally upstanding US American in 2024, but I would vote with Macrinus. He knows what he’s doing and he played the game well. 

There is more to say about Macrinus (who was a real emperor of Rome after he murdered emperor Caracalla). Denzel ate. He chewed. He feasted on this part. He’s a pleasure to watch. My companion thought Paul Mescal lacked charisma, but I don’t know. I thought he was fine. I blame Ridley Scott. The whole thing feels sort of bland and generic (and, frankly, if I remember correctly from 24 years ago, I think that was mostly true of Gladiator itself). Gladiator II is epic, though, and I enjoyed most of it. I like it when people quote Virgil and Cicero and Seneca. And it's fun to watch muscled dudes play with swords and fight wild animals. For me this was better than the critics said it was. I was not bored.

I have more to say. I’ll believe lots of things: gladiators riding rhinoceroses wearing bespoke saddles, fine; gladiators fighting starving baboons, fine. But sharks? Sharks??? In a naumachia? How? You’re telling me they caught a half dozen sharks from the ocean without injuring them and transported them from the sea (in what vessel?) and then let them loose in the Roman Coliseum after flooding it? I do not believe it.