Moana 2 – with 3 on the Way (2024)

I'm sorry to report, but Moana 2 not good. The plot is deeply confused and it borders on utterly nonsensical. The animation keeps changing, too, which is weird. Whenever the characters are wet they look like they’ve been animated completely differently (maybe this is a technology thing; maybe it is a skill thing; but what it looks like is that Disney just didn't invest quite enough money into Moana 2). 

There also just some truly insane sequences involving typical gross-out humor with nasty fluids (kids love these kinds of jokes for some reason), weird theatrical animated sequences that I didn’t understand at all (there’s a strangely surreal musical number in which Maui cheers Moana up, and they are in a completely different world for some reason), and there are animate coconuts who seem evil but are good and know a great deal about poisons? I have no idea. At one point I leaned over to my companion and asked What is happening? 

This thing moves along with the logic of an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants or maybe I mean a Minions sequel. Much worse: the songs are forgettable. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Lin-Manuel Miranda. Does this mean I'm going to actually enjoy Mufasa: the Lion King? Miranda did the songs for that.