Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

31 August 2014

Short Conversations about A Game of Thrones (Book 1)

SPOILERS FOR BOOK ONE OF A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE BELOW.

Me: When the commander of the Night's Watch tells Jon Snow not to do anything stupid, I hope for Jon's sake that he is less of a Stark than I think he is. But... nope. He did something stupid.
Catie: Hahahahahahaha. Yep. Absolutely. Some of the Starks will start turning smart, but, you know – old habits die hard. HONOR.
Me: Honor. Zzzzzzz. Yeah, really honorable to get everyone fucking killed.
Catie: Hahahaha. Everyone is like Ooooo Starks. And you: zzzzzzzz.
Me: I speak the truth. Being Ned's soldier means being dead.
Catie: Exactly.
Me: He can't keep anyone alive. Except his precious honor.

Catie: Favorite character so far?
Me: I like Tyrion and Daenerys. That bitch ate a horse's heart.
Catie: Correct.
Me: And the small council. I love all of them.
Catie: OMG Varys. Favorite.
Me: I fucking love Varys.
Catie: The actor in the TV show: greatest.
Me: And Petyr.
Catie: Yes!

Me: I have 10 discs left in the audiobook of the Game of Thrones and I can no longer stand Ned Stark. Maybe he'll get his throat cut in the next chapter and I'll be relieved of his stupidity.
Catie: Terrible.
Me: Catie, do you mean that Ned is terrible or that I am? I know you don't mean me. He is the most frustrating character I've encountered perhaps in all of fantasy literature.
Jeanne: You watch your mouth, Aaron Thomas.
Tom: But, but... honor!
Rick: He has so much honor.
Me: Ugh. His honor is getting all of his men killed.  

Me: Favorite moment of the book so far: when Eddard dreams that the king says Has your honor kept your daughters safe? I literally screamed with delight.
Catie: YES.
Me: And if Daenerys figures out how to hatch one of these motherfucking eggs I might buy everyone in the bar a round of drinks.
Catie: The egg situation gave me a hernia.

Me: For the record, I took no pleasure in Lord Eddard's execution. I was as shocked as the next guy, and I pitied him. But at least now he will stop getting his men and his family killed.
Jeanne: Haha. So logical. I was pretty upset.
Me: Yes. I can see that. But he totally had it coming. When he didn't take Lord Renley's advice and seize Prince Joffrey, I was like you moron.
Jeanne: Yeah. He's no strategist for sure, but I love him. ISTJ: can't reason with 'em.
Me: This kind of principled behavior I find so unbearable. Eddard is right but it didn't help Robert's kids, or his own kids, or his wife, or the realm. And he got all of his men killed. So what's the use of being right?
Jeanne: Well I totally appreciate your perspective, and I agree with a lot of it. But I see the value in his approach in that he stays true to himself. He couldn't have lived with himself if he did anything different. So while the consequences are devastating in this situation, ultimately he lives his values.
Me: Well, Ned should have seized Joffrey and made him his ward. That wouldn't have been a compromise. It would have simply been smart. Ned kept expecting everyone around him to play by the rules. Silliness.
Jeanne: So true. So true. People are not honorable.
Me: No. No they're not. In real life, as in Westeros.
Jeanne: Indeed.
Me: But one oughtn't to pretend that they are, then. A woman who bears children by her brother and pretends that they're someone else's in order that her son can be king is probably not the most trustworthy person in the world. Perhaps one oughtn't to think she'll act with honor.
Jeanne: Haha. You're right. Cersei has done many questionable things. As has almost every character in that book, and he knows of them! Sometimes Ned makes me think of Ashley's character in Gone with the Wind. The relic of a time passed.
Me: Yes! Totally.