Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

11 January 2016

Bryan Breaks Down The Martian's Golden Globe Win

Bryan: Bigger miscarriage of justice: Steve Avery or The Martian winning best comedy? Ok, maybe that was too soon.
Aaron: Haha. Too soon?? Too flippant, maybe, but I don't mind. Fuck The Martian. But the Golden Globes are so stupid anyway.
Bryan: Seriously.
Aaron: They're just a bunch of starfuckers. Is The Martian even a comedy? Shut the fuck up.
Bryan: But doesn't this mean The Martian basically has to get a Best Picture nod? ... I fear for this nation.
Aaron: No it does not. I mean, it might anyway, but I don't think it's a sure thing at all. This is a very odd year. But The Martian is not showing up a lot with the guilds. I honestly think Sicario has a better shot at Best Picture than The Martian.

Bryan: I'm for The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials over The Martian.
Aaron: Hahaha. I don't think I am. But I would vote for Insurgent over The Martian.
Bryan: I would definitely be for Maze Runner 1 over The Martian; that's not even a question.
Aaron: I love Maze Runner 1. But Maze Runner 2 is kinda dumb. Zombies??
Bryan: Yeah.... but I really wanted to see how those characters developed.
Aaron: Which? Are we still talking about The Maze Runner? This is the longest any two adult males have ever talked about The Maze Runner.
Bryan: True – Did you notice the dude spinning poi in The Maze Runner 1? Festival aesthetics. Just sayin'.
Aaron: Totally. Maze Runner 1 was great. That hybrid-robot-brain thing was the tits.
Bryan: The main dude was really enthralling when he ran too.

Aaron: Seriously. I love a film with running people. This is why I like those Divergent movies too. Just keep running, small children!
Bryan: Watch it again. He's really good at looking back with intensity as shit explodes behind him without breaking stride.
Aaron: Hahaha. I don't believe I'll be watching it again. Anyway, there's a third film on its way: I'll watch that.

Bryan: I did see a play once, and I'd read the play, and the play was stupid. But when they staged it – this stupid existential dialogue – they just had two main characters running around in a circle the whole time... and it was in a group of one-acts that were all existential dialogues. But the fact that they were running really made that one stand out. I see an essay: "The Hustling Body in Performance".
Aaron: THE HUSTLING BODY! I love it. Did you actually see #2?
Bryan: Yeah, haha. I actually watched it last night

Aaron: I think the whole Haha! What you didn't know is: This was a test too! thing is out of control. But I liked Giancarlo Esposito.
Bryan: Oh for sure... he was great. I think they should have been put in another maze in 2 – like in Taken 2, where the premise is literally the same as Taken. Or Hunger Games. 
Aaron: I know! I needed them to be in a new maze too. Instead there was that pseudo-maze sideways-building thing. Which was not a maze.
Bryan: They could have done more with the sideways building. Did they have to pay a royalty to Inception?
Aaron: Haha.
Bryan: At least the art director.

 Run, Dylan O'Brien! Just. Keep. Running.