Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

14 May 2021

Godzilla vs. Kong – Allegedly


Call it Godzilla vs. Kong if you want, but then put them in the movie more

I was bored by this movie, and the reason for that is that there are like two plots and neither of them really has anything at all to do with monsters fighting. There's this corporate corruption subplot that is supposed to be funny and is filled with jokes (apparently) but Brian Tyree Henry is not funny at all in this, and he runs around with Millie Bobby Brown (also not funny in this) and Julian Dennison, and one can see where there are supposed to be jokes, but this entire plot is not funny, and there are no monsters. This takes up a lot of the movie. 

There is also a whole thing where a small child can talk to Kong using sign language. Kong never really says anything, though. His communicative abilities are restricted to I'm sad and Home and I don't trust your conniving ass. The CGI is cool, and Kong has neat fur. And, listen, I love Godzilla. But he's just barely in this damn movie.

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