I'm at home and my show has closed and none of my friends is answering their phone. This would normally be an okay thing, but I was trying to save myself from brooding and instead I think I will just give into it. I could spend time trying to remove myself from this pattern of self-pity, but self-pity can make a person feel really rather full and being full of melancholy is better than feeling empty.
I am so predictable. No show to work on... it's over for one day and I get myself into a funk. And I realize that all of this work is very good at killing loneliness and perhaps I ought to pay attention to that. I mean, I fill my life with work because I receive pleasure from it, but I'm also drowning out all of that time that I would be spending alone. I enjoy my solitude--at least I always thought I did--but I realize more and more that I am a lonely human being. I need to work at that.