Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

03 January 2017

91 Songs

Happy New Year! The Oscar nominations will be announced early in the morning on January 24th, but several categories (Makeup, Visual Effects, Foreign Language Picture, Score, and Song) have already had short lists released by the Academy. In this post, I invited some of my funniest friends to listen to some of the enormous short-list of 91 songs and pick their favorites. There are ninety-one of these tunes, though, so this was a project, but my friends are troupers and they brought the hilarity below. (You will notice, by the way, that "No Dames" from Hail, Caesar! and "Sledgehammer" from Star Trek Beyond are not eligible. I have no idea why this is.)

I'll share our twelve favorite songs first (each of us picked our 5 favorites, but there was lots of overlap), and then the rest alphabetically. These were the best of the bunch:

“Gone 2015” from Miles Ahead
Justin: Really liked it. Reminded me of Digable Planets and other ’90s jazz-influenced hip-hop. Also nice to see young jazz guys like Robert Glasper pushing the genre forward.
Aaron: This is a great song. It would be awesome if it got nominated.
Alex: I love Robert Glasper. A+++++.

"Take Me Down" from Deepwater Horizon
Ryan: As someone from the Gulf Coast, who obsessively watched all the coverage of Deepwater Horizon and the subsequent ecological and cultural catastrophe, I don’t know what on earth this song is meant to evoke from that except the most generalized “down home” vibe.
Aaron: This song is by Gary Clark Jr. and starts off with a harmonica and a guitar. I loved it from start to finish. This is one of my favorites of the eligible songs.
Justin: Gary Clark Jr. is the truth. Loved the song. Hopefully he’ll get to perform it at the Oscars.
Alex: It’s fine.

“I See a Victory” from Hidden Figures
Aaron: Ok I love this. It has a gospel, soul feel to it and I am all about it.
Justin: Watched this last night. A perfect movie for a substitute teacher to play during fourth period. Song is fine, but generic.
Ryan: Did they not think to use Janelle?!? 
Alex: I’m into it. But yeah, Janelle woulda been the right call.
Ryan: UGH, this was a fave, until Kim Burrell got all homophobic! Seriously, come through, Janelle!

"Runnin'" from Hidden Figures
Aaron: Pharrell Williams! He is awesome. He needs another nomination, but I don’t think this song is very good. But who knows what the Academy will do. Also, I don’t think I realized before that Pharrell can’t really sing.
Justin: Pharrell can make a hit in his sleep, which exactly sounds like what happened here.
Ryan: See above.
Alex: YASSSSS. Hidden Figures soundtrack, werk.

“City of Stars” from La La Land
Aaron: Catchy. Plus this is the movie’s central song. It is getting nominated. It’s the movie’s most hummable, singable song.
Ryan: There was more poetry in every line of Moonlight. Sadly, I fear this movie is going to stomp all over Moonlight. #OscarsSoWhite
Alex: Is Ryan Gosling singing?? No me gusta. Song is Ok-ish.

"Still Falling for You" from Bridget Jones's Baby
Aaron: The song is sung by Ellie Goulding, and actually I think this might be one of the best of the bunch. I do not care about Bridget Jones or her baby, but the song is a winner.
Justin: “Ellie Goulding” is such a Muggle name.
Alex: I wanted to like this so badly – I have a weakness for the B. Jones stories and, like most women, love P. Dempsey and C. Firth. (I’m enjoying these initials.) But I can’t support a song whose single line refrain IS THE SAME NOTE 5 TIMES. Also for the remainder of the list, I’m only listening to songs that either pique my interest or whose comments by A./J./R. Intrigue me.

 "I'm Still Here" from Miss Sharon Jones!
Aaron: It would have been totally cool for them to nominate Sharon Jones for this. But Miss Jones died in November 2016. It’s a real missed opportunity, and who would sing this song now?
Justin: Best song on the list hands down. Janelle Monáe could sing it?
Alex: Janelle for Pres 2020!

“How Far I'll Go” from Moana
Ryan: This may just be that sweet, naive anthem we need to delude ourselves that somehow we'll manage 2017 better than we did 2016.
Aaron: Pretty hard not to love this song. And it is the centerpiece of this musical film, which everyone loves. The song comes back again and again throughout Moana.

“Blind Pig” from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Aaron: This is a jazzy number that I loved.
Justin: Cool little song. I wouldn’t nominate it, but a cool song, still.
Ryan: I really enjoyed imagining this tune with a light, gay BDSM-themed music video, per the title.

“Never Give Up” from Lion
Aaron: This is one of two Sia songs this year. This one is better than the one from The Eagle Huntress. If you’re into Sia you will probably like this. The lyrics are actually related to this movie in some way, unlike some of these songs.
Justin: It’s like the underdog team just won the championship! Tell me I’m wrong.
Alex: Justin is right. And I feel like I could totally go to the Olympics when I listen to this. I love Sia and I really like this. Indian music in beginning is slightly corny though.

“Drive It Like You Stole It” from Sing Street
Justin: This movie was great and so is the song.
Aaron: I love this. It sounds like an upbeat Spandau Ballet song. I need them to nominate this. And all of the images from this video make me want to see this movie.

“Moonshine” from Live by Night
Aaron: Foy Vance singing about moonshine and bootlegging? I like this kind of country music. In fact, I pretty much love this song. But while we’re talking about Live by Night… this got released on Christmas Day, clearly aiming for end-of-year awards, but it has appeared on no one’s lists. In fact, no one is even talking about this movie.
Justin: I like it, but it’s no Gary Clark Jr.

And now for the rest (i.e. the other 79 songs...): 

Alex: I’m somewhat a fan of Pink, even when her songs are, like this one, somewhat meh. I think it’s some weird form of nostalgia for my youth. Anyway, the framing of the video, though, is so unnecessary: dude has wife who hangs from trapeze all the time, and then cut to him throwing her in the loony bin. What is Pink trying to tell us?! (For the record, probably none of my comments will have anything to do with movies. And I usually listen to 30 sec of each song. Gotta be efficient, people.)
Aaron: Girl power! Pink’s song for Alice through the Looking Glass is about going through glass ceilings. “We came here to run it!” the chorus says, and she has a group of singers behind her. I am not into this kind of music, but it has a great pop beat and will connect with lots of folks.
Justin: OMG the video starts off with a Corey Hart cameo. Anyway, the song is fine in that generic, written-by-a-Scandanavian-pop-savant way. I didn’t watch the movie, but I doubt it has as many practical effects as the music video. Also, has P!nk always had that exclamation in her name?

“Rise” from American Wrestler: the Wizard
Aaron: I cannot seem to find this song anywhere, but it is fittingly performed by Andy Madadian, the Armenian-Iranian singer who now lives in Los Angeles.
Justin: This movie isn’t about The Grand Wizard from the WWE, so it is invalid.

Aaron: This is a Blake Shelton – i.e. country – song. I don’t get it.
Justin: Just like the movie, I quit after a few minutes.
Alex: I watched a little just to see who this guy was because he is Gwyneth Paltrow’s new husband. I tried to think about some funny comparison to her former husband, who heads Coldplay but mostly I just think they are both mediocre musicians. Also, the song – at least the first 30 seconds – was terribly annoying.

Justin: The movie is about bullying and teen suicide, so of course Tori Amos is the perfect choice. I also have never understood the appeal of Ms. Amos, since the only Amos I like makes cookies and is famous for it.
Aaron: “Flicker” is by Tori Amos, the singer I was most obsessed with in high school and college. This is a weird song. Maybe I needed to have seen Audrie & Daisy to get it, but I have never heard of this documentary. The song is pretty enough, and I guess the Academy has been interested in songs from documentaries lately.
Alex: Something about attaching Tori Amos to a Netflix documentary about cyberbullying and high school rape makes her seems cliché in a way I don’t think she deserves. (Even if the doc is important and good, which it may well be.) I do like the song but I have to actively detach it from thinking about it as backdrop to dramatic moments.

Justin: Umlaut party! The song is boring, or should I say, böring.
Aaron: This movie looks like it might be good. This song is not.
Alex: I’m so excited that this strange letter ð is in the singer’s first name. That’s all I’m really excited about here. Besides the fact that the Wikipedia entry defines the movie in a highly hyphenated way: “an American-Icelandic-French mystery-drama film”.

Aaron: From Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross. This is their only musical outing this year at the movies. I like these guys, but this song is a downer; in fact, it is an apocalyptic climate-change song, with a tone like a judge issuing a life sentence to a criminal.
Alex: This is fine. I mean, it sounds like the right song to musically illustrate the slow demise of humankind.
Justin: This would’ve been better as a Johnny Cash cover.

Aaron: God alert. This tune involves the word “Emmanuel”, which in Hebrew means “God with us”.
Alex: The invocation of God combined with the catchiness of the song just makes me uncomfortable.
Justin: “Hey, it’s me, Pastor Nick. I know some people think Christians can be square, but what they don’t know is that we rock! Now join me in singing this tastefully rocking but still praise-worthy song! Also, gays are still bad and life starts at conception. 1-2-3-4!!!”

Alex: I feel like I’ve heard similar versions of the instrumental part in like 5 different movies?
Aaron: More about the god. “I call you mine but you’re truly his”, the first line of the song says, “He’s the reason we exist…”
Justin: “Pastor Nick here. Remember, the bus is leaving at 10 am sharp for the retreat. We will leave your booties behind. I’m not joking. BTW, has anybody seen my car keys? They were on the piano.”

Aaron: This has a breezy, country, guitar-strum vibe. But then Rachel Taylor starts singing about prayer. I couldn’t finish it.
Alex: I ignored the lyrics so I didn’t fall into the trap Aaron did. And lo and behold, it was quite pleasurable.
Justin: “Haha, very funny. Found my keys in the men’s toilet. I know it was you,Toby. Have fun walking to the retreat, buddy.”

Aaron: I still can’t believe they remade Ben-Hur. Like, it won 11 Oscars in 1960. We needed a new CGI-fest version of this novel? I kind of enjoyed this tune by Andra Day, although its lyrics baffle me: “Revenge is so loud / and the drums are so proud”? What does that mean?
Justin: Haven’t we Ben-Hur before? LOLOLOL But seriously... why?
Ryan: Rihanna for the History Channel.

Aaron: This is real? This song involves the lyric “I’m like fuck you, fuck her, and fuck them” and also the lyrics “White Russian? Really?” and “dad get out of my room, I’m rapping.” Not for me.
Justin: If the song is as funny as the movie, then I’ll pass.

Aaron: This is by a band called Short Sleeve Heart. The song is sentimental nonsense. Awful.
Justin: Agreed.

Aaron: This has a kind of Sigur Ros sound to it. I loved it.
Justin: Forgot this movie even came out. The song is whatever.

Aaron: This is mournful and meditative and I was bored.
Justin: I liked it in that True Detective-theme song way. Strange this is from that border-crossing horror movie.

Aaron: I was into this until the singers started singing. No thanks.
Justin: The trailer for this movie is cut like it’s Drive, or something, which I feel it is nothing like. The song also seems like it’s for another movie, a movie I still wouldn’t watch, but another movie, nonetheless.

Aaron: This is Sia’s second song from this year. It feels different from her other stuff. Slower. I was bored.
Justin: I like that most of Sia’s songs sound like the final song in an ’80s sports movie.
Alex: I love Sia’s voice but am not inspired by this song.

Aaron: Why is this guy yelling through this ostensibly sensitive little tune?
Justin: I started watching this doc the other day. Interesting subject, uninteresting song.

Aaron: This is a country tune from Lucinda Williams that is basically terrible.
Justin: I’m guessing they couldn’t get Tom Waits?

Aaron: This song was nominated for a Golden Globe. It legitimately sucks, so I don’t know how that is possible. Also, this movie looks terrible.
Justin: Didn’t Matty McConaughey already do a movie called Fool’s Gold? Also, the song is basically what they filter in when you’re trying on skinny jeans at Urban Outfitters.

Aaron: Oh Usher! He’s so cute.
Justin: Ugh. I hate it. Is this for a Disney channel movie?

Aaron: This song is delightful. In the movie, Doris attends a Baby Goya concert as a part of her plot to seduce the man she’s crushing on.
Justin: It’s cute, but if Jack Antonoff gets nominated for this I’m going back in time and voting for Trump.

Aaron: Oh my god. Awful.
Justin: Are we on a subway? Do you have a dollar I could give this guy so he’ll get off at the next stop?
Ryan: The title alone should have warned us from listening. Also, can things never again feat. Josh Fox, whoever the fuck that is.
Alex: I want to know what charisma smells like. But I’m not going to listen to this song.

Aaron: This is the fifth Ice Age movie. These must make money, but there must also be a lot of dead souls at 20th Century Fox. Jesus Christ. Five of these?
Justin: This song is a Collision Course of awfulness, amirite?
Ryan: Never have I ever seen an Ice Age movie. (Smugly doesn’t take a drink.)
Alex: Me neither.

Aaron: The Academy has the opportunity to nominate Leon Redbone for an Oscar here, but I can’t see them taking it. This song sounds like something my uncle made up to sing after too many whiskeys.
Justin: It’s the Mr. Belvedere guy!

Justin: I sort of hate Sting.
Aaron: Oh, I was into this. I like it.
Ryan: Is it terrible that before researching this I thought it was about Mark Foley, the Republican congressman who sexted underage boys?

Aaron: This is from an emotional part of the film, and it is a beautiful little ditty.

Aaron: This was really fun. If I remember correctly, though, the Academy rules allow only two songs from any one film to be nominated, so I expect John Legend’s tune gets left off the list.

Aaron: Zzzzzzzzz.
Justin: I’ll watch this doc and cry because that is what I do these days.

Aaron: I am into this Hozier’s voice. I can’t really understand what he’s saying, but I kind of don’t mind. Did anyone see this Tarzan movie? I don’t feel like anyone did.
Justin: Errbody ripping off Antony and the Johnsons nowadays.

Aaron: I actually think this tune could surprise on the morning of the nominations. I think it is boring, but it is from The Little Prince, and people may have a feeling when they listen to it.
Justin: I liked the movie, but do not like this song.

Aaron: I have no idea what is happening in this song or what this woman is saying, but it is all cute. I would really enjoy this song if I were super drunk.
Justin: Great montage song.

Aaron: I liked this movie, but this song is annoying.
Justin: I’m not Loving this.

Aaron: This song is by Michel Legrand and Alan & Marilyn Bergman, who were the expert songwriters for Oscar nominations for years. Does that mean that this showtune-like song featuring musical-theatre performer Melissa Errico could get a nomination? Somehow I don’t think so, but it could happen.
Justin: Blergh.

Aaron: I forget how many celebrity singers do these songs. This one is by Florence + the Machine. If the Oscar-voters really wanted to nominated popular singers so that they could have a great show in February, they actually could. This should probably be a little reassuring. When voters nominated David Lang’s “Simple Song #3” and Antony’s “Manta Ray” last year it was bad for the Oscar telecast because those folks are not big stars, but it was nice for them to have Oscar nominations. Voters are not simply choosing the most popular singers.
Justin: This sounds like the main song for the next James Bond.

Aaron: Everyone’s favorite Pulitzer-prize-winning songwriter Lin-Manuel Miranda actually appears in Moana as little Moana’s ancestor in one of the movie’s coolest sequences. There isn’t much to the song, though, and Lin-Manuel is not a singer. Before we are done talking about Moana, I have to ask why The Rock’s song from the movie, “You’re Welcome”, is not on this list. Perhaps they didn’t submit it? That seems silly on the surface, but Disney, knowing that each movie can only get two nominations maximum, has probably decided only to submit two songs from each of its films in order not to split any votes. It has only submitted two songs from each of its other musicals as well (Pete’s Dragon, The Little Prince). Still, “We Know the Way” was definitely the wrong choice here. “You’re Welcome” is such a better song.
Alex: Aaron has very complex and informed feelings on this song and others in this movie. All I can say is I AM INTO THIS ONE. I WANT TO EXPLORE THE WORLD ON A RAFT.

Aaron: Um, Rita Wilson sings this song. I have nothing else to say.
Ryan: Is Rita Wilson in MBFGW2?
Alex: According to Spotify, Rita Wilson has 4 ALBUMS OUT. OK, 2 are Xmas albums but still. Who knew that Rita was such a little songbird? I really hope she and Tom Hanks do a Hanukkah duet album next year. But because she is a Renaissance lady, yes, she IS ALSO in MBFGW2.
Justin: I think she performed this on The Today Show, right before they showed the three best ways to beat holiday weight.

Aaron: I lied, Sia apparently has a third song eligible for an Oscar nomination this year. This played over the end credits of this mess of a movie and isn’t a terrible song, even though I have no idea what she’s saying. Seriously, though, I don’t care because fuck The Neon Demon.
Alex: I have a hard time being critical of anything Sia does. Even things by her I don’t like initially I end up playing on repeat. This is not the best but I’ll probably get hooked on it. Unsurprisingly, I know nothing about the movie.
Justin: “...and new champion, Daniel LaRusso Jr!” - From The New New Karate Kid: Just Kiddin’

Aaron: More country music. Some of these are better than others. For this one, Edwin McCain has composed the song just a bit higher than his own range. That leads to some seriously strained notes.
Justin: If by “his own range” you mean “good,” then yes.

“Find My Victory” from Olympic Pride, American Prejudice
Aaron: Here’s another one I can’t find. This is performed by Tony Hightower, but that’s all I can seem to figure out about this song.
Alex: I smell a conspiracy. WHERE ARE ALL THESE SONGS?

Aaron: I don’t get it.
Justin: Is this from Moana?

Aaron: Green Day? Please retire.
Alex: I’m not even listening because I agree with Aaron.
Justin: “There’s something so predictable, and in the end it’s rife, this song is just a ripoff of Time of Your Life.”

Aaron: I am getting bored with this project. This song is boring.
Justin: Half the songs on this list are this Portlandia sketch.

Aaron: This song is from the band Imagine Dragons and it basically consists of them saying “levitate” numerous times.
Justin: Imagine if this was a good song.

Aaron: A.R. Rahman composed this. This is one of those rousing things that feels like something that plays over a victory sequence or over the end credits of an uplifting sports movie.
Justin: This would sound better with Sia singing it.

Aaron: This is pretty but sort of forgettable.

Aaron: The best thing about this song is the weird girl in the video who is trying to dance sexily while fiddling at the same time. It makes no sense at all. Especially since this is a kids’ movie.

Aaron: This is a Burt Bacharach tune sung by Sheryl Crow. But I am sorry to report that it is boring.

Aaron: “My apple crumble is by far the most crumblest / But I act like it tastes bad out of humbleness.” Hahaha. Also Andy Samberg is really sexy.

Aaron: This is from a music documentary about a YouTube singer, and it would be totally awesome if it got nominated.

Aaron: I guess I didn’t realize how many of these original songs come from documentaries every year. There are so many. I am bored by this slow, meditative song, but I am sure it has a very nice emotional effect in this film I would never watch normally.

Aaron: Uh oh. Alicia Keys. I wouldn’t really like this song even if someone else sang it, but since Alicia Keys is not a very good singer, I was definitely not interested in this.

Aaron: This begins with trumpets and is one of those “inspiring”, “heartfelt” songs about “stakes”, “true victory”, and “nothing to lose”. It is legitimately awful.

Aaron: Awful.
Aaron: Songs with "a message" like this one, Alex, make me want to die. How's that for honesty?

Aaron: In Rules Don’t Apply, this is such a beautiful theme song. The clip is from the movie itself. The song comes back later in the picture, so this isn’t all there is to the tune, but the clip demonstrates how embedded into the plot the film itself is. I will be happy if this gets nominated.

Aaron: Charmingly ironic and delightfully filthy. As a melody, it isn’t much, but this is really about lyric showmanship. This is very very clever and perfect for the movie, but I wouldn’t listen to it on its own ever.
Ryan: Alan Menken? I’m in.

Aaron: This is sung by Stevie Wonder and Ariana Grande. But that can’t make this a good song. And I am praying that I don’t have to see this movie, because it looks asinine and boy do I hate these Illumination Entertainment studio offerings.

Aaron: This is not bad, and I like the two singers (Sam Tsui and Madilyn Bailey). Also, this video is fun - filmed using a selfie stick at Universal Citywalk (even if their lipsynching doesn’t always quite match the track).

Aaron: This song is very different from the other Sing Street tune. But this one features Adam Levine having a feeling, so I assume this one will be nominated and the '80s-inspired one that I love will not be nominated. I should, perhaps, have more faith in the Academy’s music branch, but I do not. (Actually, this song gets better as it goes on longer. I shouldn’t be so mean.)

Aaron: This is a Peter Gabriel song, but… well... he’s sort of talk-singing in this? Maybe into an autotune machine? This is so weird and bad.

Aaron: Yes, Céline Dion! Come through, girl. I actually don’t know what Snowtime! is, and I thought the song was sort of just generically sweet. But it’s Céline!
Alex: That’s right, boy, observe that accent! I was also weirdly excited to listen to Céline. I really do find it funny when a singer is singing about really emotional topics and the music video cuts to really emotional Pixar characters. “Don’t give up, little computer generated boy!!!”

“Kiss Me Goodnight” from Southwest of Salem: the Story of the San Antonio Four
Aaron: Another one I can’t find. But this movie is about a witch trial! In Texas!

Aaron: I was into this. I like its beat. And the way the singer sounds like he’s in a beachfront bar on a Florida key. It makes me feel like drinking an icy drink filled with rum. And that’s never a bad thing.
Alex: I feel like he is in a cabin in the Adirondacks. But anyway, it’s an OK song.

Aaron: I keep forgetting Will Smith was in this movie. In an case, the song isn’t very good, but I have to admit to being into it. It is catchy even if it is badly written.
Justin: It’s like KROQ made an algorithm of successful current songs, fed it into a computer, and this is what was spit out.

Aaron: This made me want to jump out of a window and break my neck.
Alex: Yup. Bad.

Aaron: “Montage” is one of the best sequences in Swiss Army Man, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a song.

Aaron: I have no idea what is happening here, and no one in the Academy will either. Is this song in Bambara and French? Anyway, it is not that great of a song in any language.

Aaron: Common won an Oscar for his last song for an Ava DuVernay movie, but this song doesn’t have as good of a hook, and Common lazily quotes Maya Angelou and Billie Holliday. The whole thing feels sort of phoned in.

Aaron: Is John Hawkes a singer? Too Late is not the John Hawkes film where he is a singer, right? I think maybe that was from last year and it was called Low Down. This is a reasonable mistake. He sure does do a lot of singing in movies for a man who isn’t actually a singer. Oh! Wikipedia informs me that John Hawkes was part of the Austin band Meat Joy (apparently unrelated to the Carolee Schneemann performance) and also the group King Straggler. As it turns out I have nothing to say about this boring song, but lots to say about John Hawkes’ singing career.

Aaron: I have to tell you that I hope this gets nominated because I saw Trolls expressly because I expected it to get a nomination. This was the song of Summer 2016, so I don’t see how it can miss a nomination, but I certainly suppose it could.
Justin: This movie, like Angry Birds, is about one species wanting to eat another one. So I guess the feeling that can’t be stopped is genocide?

Aaron: This song is super annoying in the film, and it is intended to be. It has a standard bubble-gum pop sound that is pretty impossible not to detest.

Aaron: Some of these documentary songs are ridiculous! This is the weirdest song. I listen to things like this and I think, well, it must work with the film. But I am not really interested in documentary filmmaking, so, I probably won’t see this movie.

Aaron: As far as I can tell this has not yet been released in the U.S. In any event, I can find no recording of this song anywhere.

Aaron: Again, it would be totally cool if this song, which was written for this music documentary, got a nomination and could be performed at the Oscars. But, I don’t know, I think We Are X and X Japan itself might be a little out there for Academy voters.

Aaron: “Wakin’ up to the pound of a hammer / Pictures on my phone, tryna piece it all together.” Hangover song. This is a mess.
Alex: All of the troops seem to have abandoned Aaron in his critical crusade. Justin? Ryan? Hello?

Aaron: Ugh. I hated this.

Aaron: I didn’t hate this one until it became a duet. This song, like “New Dogs, Old Tricks” also referred to pounding heads and hangovers. I guess that is what the movie is about?

Aaron: This song has a melody, but the singer does not sing. He instead speaks the lyrics. I don’t understand anything about this What Happened Last Night movie.

Aaron: This is a funny, tongue-in-cheek song by Eric William Morris and frequent nominee Marc Shaiman that must make sense with the movie. On its own it makes no sense.

Aaron: Shakira appears in Zootopia as a booty-shaking ibex (?) complete with homosexual background dancing tigers. The song is catchy but pretty typical fare. Not very interesting. I kind of wish “try everything” as a mantra were related to getting kids to try different foods and, like, different hairstyles. As it is, I am not sure what Shakira wants us to try.
Alex: Is she an ibex? An antelope? Plus Shakira hips + butt added, obv. I don’t know what the creature is but I am into it. And the tigers are totally A+. I’m generally fairly motivated by this song but not sure toward what. I guess everything?
Justin: Antenope!

The Contributors:
Justin thinks truffles are overrated, but Ruffles are underrated. You can find him on Instagram (justinabarca) and Twitter (@thewarclub).
Alex loves to do yoga and spill food on herself. You can find her on Instagram (ripple617) and Twitter (@ripple617).
Ryan is against nostalgia in principle yet is somehow a romantic. He can be found on Twitter (@avidyarns) and Instagram (avidyarns).

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