My it is wet here.
I wish I could explain why I'm listening to the theme from Love Story right now, but I cannot.
My roommate is so very polite. He offered to take turns vacuuming. Maybe my last roommate was just a bastard, which is why I appreciate very small things like this offer. No more Love Story. I am moving on to something with more pep.
Tonight Wahima and I visited our favorite cheap-ass haunt: The Old Spaghetti Factory, where, amazingly enough we can have dinner for $10 apiece. After this we talked for long times about Cloud 9. I am feeling very conflicted about my good friend directing this show. Perhaps this is because I am not directing a show.
It is weird, because I have been working on some kind of show since Fall of 2002 when I was in Othello... I mean, Othello, Gross Indecency, Closer, Hamlet, Fantasticks, ICFB, Crucible, Sin... it has been madness: unending madness: on which I evidently thrive. Having free time is wonderful, but there is something lacking: work. It is for this reason that i began to study theatre: to feed my desire to create. Going to work at the accounting firm every day pays the bills, and it's a fine thing to do, a satisfactory way of making a living, but without anything else to create, to work on, to fucking DO, I don't know... I get kinda bored. Plus, it seems like everyone I know is always busy working on some other show. It's not like I'm not reading, because of course I am reading. More than I have since fricking Othello. I am watching movies too, but I feel like I ought to be directing something, or at least contributing artistically to some sort of endeavor. I volunteered to help Wahima out, of course, but I don't know...
I guess I just feel lazy or useless or something... who knows.
Tonight I watched what my grandmother always said was one of her favorite film performances of all time. Rod Steiger in The Pawnbroker. I don't know what I was expecting, really, but man oh man, what a film! It is early Sidney Lumet... not sure I know if this is true, but it is 1965, and the Sidney Lumet I know is the Lumet of Network and The Verdict, which are 70s movies. Considering my affinity for Network, it is odd that I hadn't looked up this flick before. Steiger is great in the movie, and the movie itself is a spare, unflinching tragedy in the Greek sense. A sort of post-holocaust The Best Years of Our Lives with none of the happy ending stuff. It's super-intense and incorporates that 1960s European influenced way of working: mood-heavy, sad, and an "every single day" sense to all of it. It was totally powerful and I see why my grandmother liked it.
I finished my Nicky Silver kick today too. The last play I read was Fat Men in Skirts, which is funny at times, but mostly undirectable. Maybe I will re-read Raised in Captivity. Pterodactyls could work too. Not sure.
The Oscars will be here soon and I have done so little planning. I have a fucking party to throw. I really ought to get on it.
I am so tired lately.