Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

30 November 2004

I will press send. I will press send. I will press send.

It is so exciting for me to be able to write to you at this, the most thrilling time in my life. There is so much that I want to tell you about how much I love theatre and how much it has completely altered my life. Theatre is in a tough place right now: I see a lot of bad plays, and I often ask why they are being done at all. I can't say why other people love the theatre, but I know why I love the theatre. There is something electric that passes between live actor and live audience. I love that pregnancy: something unknown that has never existed before that moment and probably never will again.
Yeah, so...
I got my old prof Leslie to write me a recommendation to UC Davis. You may or may not know that she used to teach there. Chuuurch. (I stole that.)
I used to hate Leslie... my, how I've grown.

Whitney Houston makes me want to be a Christian... for like 5 seconds. I suppose hope is not lost, for all of you who are praying for my redemption... give me some gospel, and I may convert.

PLUS, the National Board of Review officially kicks off Oscar season tomorrow. I am so fucking thrilled. Seriously, I thought about it for a moment at work today and I just smiled.

Back to business:
Large alterations have been made to the statement of purpose, including a whole (much more upbeat) beginning section. I think I am happy with this version. At least, I feel like I sound more ummm happy about the prospect of going to school. Thanks everyone Allan and Tito, for your input on the letter. Any fresh comments would be appreciated.
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When I started out in university, I chose to study accounting. It was the path of least resistance for me as someone who was always good at math and used to thinking about things logically and in terms of set, defined parameters. When I took my first theatre class, I told myself that I didn't know anything at all. I decided I would go into the studio and begin everything from scratch. I had no idea how much the choice would affect my life, how all-consuming a force theatre would become for me, but I very clearly remember the day I made the decision to alter my field of study. The change of major form at my university asked us the reason for our switch. My response was that theatre was difficult. It was something that I had to work hard to do. As a person who was used to puzzles and numbers, my body and my voice were things I was not in the habit of using. I welcomed the challenge. My training in theatre since then has always been that the unknown is the place in which I should live. I must have soaked up the essence of this very early on, because something enabled me to jump into this uncharted world of art and performance and never look back.
My first theatre teacher was a professor of voice. I have always considered myself extremely fortunate to have first worked with someone whose approach to theatre was as organic as hers. Working with her, the goal was always to speak the truth at any given moment: to always be honest in everything. The story, and theatre is storytelling, was always primary, and honest communication was the best way to tell the story. I continued studying voice for the rest of my time at university, and also attended Canada's National Voice Intensive in 2002. While still at university, I was given the opportunity to direct two full-length shows. I also started teaching my own voice classes while attending school. Directing shows and teaching classes changed something inside of me. Teaching became something I wanted to do; something at which I excelled. There is something about assisting others toward their potential that makes me feel like I belong: it makes me positive that teaching is what I want to be doing the rest of my life. I still direct shows and coach voice and dialect at Cal State Pomona, and I love doing it, but it isn't enough. I want to do more.
I cannot wait to begin my graduate study. For so many people that I talk to, graduate study is simply a means to an end. But for me the means is just as important as the end. I want these next five years in graduate school to change me as much as the last five years of my life have changed me. I am confident that graduate school will do just that. Graduate school is a path into the unknown, and the unknown is where I want to live. I want to be molded and changed. I have strong ideas about theatre, performance and the arts, and I want to be in an environment where these ideas can be challenged and considered. Most importantly, I want to surround myself with other theatre students and scholars with whom I can discuss ideas, test theories, and from whom I can learn. I want to teach on the university level: to have an impact on young actors, directors, and other students of theatre. But most importantly, I feel that my education in theatre must continue and I know that I cannot do that on my own. Studying on the graduate level is something I have been thinking about for a very long time. It is what comes next in my path as an artist: no longer the path of least resistance. I am so excited about the future of this art form and the new heights we can reach with it. This is the subsequent logical step in my growth as a theatre teacher, an artist in my community, and a student of life.