Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

07 September 2005

Gratitude and the Annals of History

I feel like writing a little. Actually, I'm writing a lot lately; I just haven't been doing it in this space. I am doing the morning pages for The Artist's Way every morning and right this minute I am writing thank-you cards to all of my actors and to the staff of the show. It is good to always be grateful for the gifts that other people give me and not just be mindful of the ungenerous.
So much is going on and sometimes I feel so trapped... as though I am back to my childhood theories of being a Calvinist and predestination is the story of my life. And then I have evenings like tonight's. I ducked out of work fairly early (only 30 minutes of overtime) and headed over to Target where I walked very slowly and ponderously through the aisles, shopping for just the right cards and (eventually) a table lamp for the desk in my room.

Taking things slowly is the goal in my life I find most difficult to achieve. I went to my usual Thai restaurant for dinner because I've been cooking at home for the last two days and I didn't feel like it. I've also been reading a lot of The Gay and Lesbian Review. I am so grateful I get this publication. It's so insightful and it opens me up to a history I know I have but to which I don't get as much exposure as I would like. I don't even know how I heard about this publication, but I am always delighted to recieve it in the mail and I almost always read the thing cover to cover. It makes me want to read more and write more and produce, you know?: to share my work and create more work.

OK, back to my thank-you notes. I'm a little over half done and I need to finish so's I can finalize the program. I wrote all the actor's bios (no small feat, I assure you.) I am getting kind of excited for tomorrow. Writing thank-yous to the actors reminds me how talented they all are and how good the show can be when the actors are on top of their shit.