Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

21 November 2011

Four (Easy) Pieces about Sex for Your Monday!

From Gawker, How to Tell If Your Son Is Gay by Richard Lawson which lampoons the silly iPhone app that tells you if your son is gay. Lawson offers:

If you come home from work and you hear noises upstairs and you go up to investigate and your son's door is open and you catch him "hooking up" (as kids call it today) with his friend Michael, and you quickly turn around and walk back downstairs and later that night over dinner you say "You know, honey, if there's ever anything you need to tell me..." and he says "Mom, I'm gay," then your son is gay.

Also from Gawker, the delightful article In Praise of Queens by Brian Moylan, which includes a phrase I feel I am constantly using against homophobic homosexuals:

Those on the masculine side of the spectrum need to can it with the "no fems" bullshit. When it comes down to it, no matter how many sports they play, how much beer they drink, or how much Madonna they hate, they still suck dick just like the rest of us, and there are certain parts of the mainstream that will despise you for that, no matter how well you hide.

And then there is this fabulous piece on Slate by J. Bryan Lowder about a male porn star that women love. His name is James Deen and the piece is called Porn That Women Like: Why Does It Make Men So Uncomfortable? and is a great read, including:

Men (who largely control the porn industry) imagine that women want everything big—“Big arms. Big abs. Big dicks,” [...]—when what they really want is something a little less overwrought.

Anyone who describes porn stars as overwrought has, in my book, figured a few things out about the world.

Lastly, I want to share this blog post called The H-Word: “Make Your Own Porn” via BitchMedia. It's by a female porn star named Dylan Ryan who identifies as queer and at one point uses the phrase:

when I'm having sex with a cis gendered man on camera...

The transpositive and queer implications of this phrase are extraordinary to me, and I've decided that I am going to begin all sentences at Thanksgiving dinner with the phrase, "Well, when I'm having sex with a cis gendered man..."