Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

30 May 2005

Voice Mail Round-up

The following message was completely set to music:

Oh, everything is fine in Perrysburg, Ohio on this wintery oh wintery day.
You can take your time; there's never any hurry when you're living the dancer's way.
I just got done with rehearsal and I was just thinkin' of you.
Call me when you get this message 'cause I miss you oh so much and I want to see your face,
So call me when you get this. I hope you're having a great day. I think of you every five minutes.
I think that my life has turned into a musical; what do you think about this?
I wish that you were with me so we could do bell-kicks down the hall.
We could make everyone fall in love with us while we're traveling along in our lovely little song.
I love you.


**

I have an idea. Let's pretend that it's your birthday... and let's have cake and wine--'cause that goes really good with cake--and ice cream and streamers and blowers and... strippers and we can have a big birthday party tonight, so if you're available, you could call me and we could have your birthday party... 'cause it's your birthday today. (I'm very excited.) Yep, it's your birthday and today you're going to be... thirty-seven.
I think we should start practicing birthdays for when we're older so we know how to react. 'Cause birthdays when we're older are gonna be really hard, so we'll just practice and pretend that today you're gonna be thirty-seven. So I'm gonna go home and have cake and wine and strippers. Call me.


**

The two above are from my soon-to-be-married friend Jill. I have two messages from my friend Linda that I wanted to share, but their charm rests in the brilliant accents that she's doing. Plus she talks so damn fast I hardly know what she's saying.