Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

05 February 2005

Paint Purchasing & Orange Crush

I was feeling a little out of my depth at the Lowe's Paint Department...

Aaron: "Um... I'd like to get a gallon of this color."
Paint attendant: "It's after six."
Pause.
Aaron: "Is that important somehow?"
Paint attendant: "We don't mix paint after six. It takes too long."

Blank stare from Aaron.

Paint attendant: "We close in three hours."
Aaron: "How long does it take to mix paint?"
Paint attendant: "A couple of minutes. Ha Ha." (Big grin.)

Was this supposed to be charming? It wasn't.
Mix me my fucking paint and quit wasting my time.

~ Story Time ~


So, when I went to visit Madison and Brantley on Wednesday, I mentioned that I was developing a crush on this cabin attendant at work. Her name is Julee and she's gorgeous and fabulous and a little dumb, but always cute and always very nice to me in an experienced-attractive-female-likes-the-attention-of-younger-impressionable-male-who-is-nowhere-close-to-her-league-type of way. You know the drill. The whole thing is funny anyway, because she is obviously a beautiful heterosexual woman and I am obviously a homosexual man. We flirt, we compliment one another's outfits. I help her out when she needs help (strangely like high school when I helped attractive women (and--more importantly--men) with their homework so that they would know I existed.) AT ANY RATE, my relationship with Julee reminded (reminds) me of having a little crush on someone, so I mentioned it in passing as one of my random anecdotes at dinner. It was supposed to get a laugh, but instead it got:
"Well, why don't you ask her out?"
This question was met by me with a blank, incredulous stare.
So Maddie says, "Well why not? Men change all the time. You never know."

OKAY, things not to say.

"Are you serious?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"
"Well why don't you try it?"
"But whatever for?" I asked, still stunned at the way the conversation turned out.
"How do you know until you try?"
This line of questioning tapered off into their roommate Amino (who goes to CalArts and is quite cute and from Morocco) asking me why I don't like women.

You can bet I ended this conversation in a hurrry. The whole thing just made me really uncomfortable. I mean, I can't imagine being anything other than a homosexual man anymore. If that means I have put myself into a box (so to speak), then so be it. I mean, I am not confused at all about what I want, but my two friends seem to be a little confused about me.
What the fuck? Seriously. What. The Fuck?
It doesn't really make me angry. But I felt--feel--really unsupported by those two friends all of a sudden.

Am I blowing this out of proportion?
Would any of you suggest such a thing to me in complete seriousness?