Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

03 May 2004


So I was in the middle of posting a lecture in someone else's journal when my computer decided it was going to shut off... so here goes in my own journal thank you very much.


It is no good for us to make excuses when it comes to the so-called "real world."  Our work is our work and there really is no "real world."  I don't think that the art you do in your university is any less legitimate than the art you are going to do after you get out of university.  It will be better after you get out (no doubt about that) but legitimacy is a whol other thing, and calling your future work "real" is just another excuse for not working NOW.

Here's the thing.  I can say all I want that the real world isn't read for me, or the real world is too stupid or too shallow or too capitalistic or too frigging retarded for me, and I can say that I never feel appreciated by the real world, but what I am really doing is making excuses for not putting my neck out on the line.  Once again, and I'm going to keep saying this.  I am responsible for my work and my work only.  I am not responsible for people's response to my work unless I can control that.  My task is to do my work, and if I am letting fancy notions about the quote—real world—unquote get in the way of me doing my work then it is I who am at fault, because it is my work that is my responsibility and nothing else.

The work that I do is gonna change.  It has to change, and all the time, or I'll go insane, but if I don't commit to it, I'm not doing what I'm here to do.  I'm the only one holding me back, and I'm the only one who can make me do the work.