Fantastic Beasts: the Crimes of J.K. Rowling

This thing was all over the fucking place. I liked the kelp monster. And I liked when the brothers hugged. And I liked when Dumbledore first showed up. Other than the three handsome boys in it*, I was mostly confused during this movie. It felt like it was filling in a lot of old questions I was supposed to have from the Potter books. (I either don't remember those questions or this movie is off the rails.)

And as for Dumbledore's homosexual desires for anyone. They are as absent in The Crimes of Grindelwald as they are in any of the Harry Potter books. J.K. Rowling can say that Dumbledore is gay all she wants, but I remain unconvinced. Dumbledore certainly isn't telling us he's gay. Right now it feels like she's accusing him of something he doesn't even know about.

Actually, wait. I thought I was done, but I'm not. This movie made no fucking sense. The thing I don't get is that Rowling keeps introducing new random elements into her world that no one has ever heard about before. Is it normal for a wizard to call a bunch of other wizards to a meeting by covering an entire city in fabric? Since when? I had never heard of that before, but this movie just treats it like it's a typical thing that we all know about. Rowling changes the parameters of her world so often that it's totally impossible to get one's footing. Like, since when can you see the recent past in a room by blowing magic gold dust around (magic gold dust that is apparently not difficult to acquire)? If we can do that, why didn't anyone do that when Dumbledore was murdered?

Honestly, maybe there are canonical explanations for these things and I am just ignorant of them (I'm no expert on the lore of this world), but when I'm watching my thought process is basically: Wait, what's happening now? I don't know what this is or what's going on. It seems to me that Rowling's basic screenwriting technique is that she jumps from introducing one new magical wonder to the next. This isn't plotting so much as it is a kind of medieval pageantry, and I wouldn't mind this so much except that the entire thing keeps telling us it's a mystery we should somehow be able to puzzle our way through. But who can do any puzzling when the rules keep changing?

Oscar Noms 2017: 4 of 13

Part 1 - La La Land, Moonlight, Arrival
Part 2 - Manchester by the Sea, Hacksaw Ridge, Lion
Part 3 - Fences, Hell or High Water, Hidden Figures, Jackie

Part 4:

Florence Foster Jenkins

2 Nominations

• Actress: Meryl Streep (Into the Woods, August: Osage County, The Iron Lady, Julie & Julia, Doubt, The Devil Wears Prada, Adaptation., Music of the Heart, One True Thing, The Bridges of Madison County, Postcards from the Edge, A Cry in the Dark, Ironweed, Out of Africa, Silkwood, Sophie's Choice, The French Lieutenant's Woman, Kramer vs. Kramer, The Deer Hunter)
• Costume Design: Consolata Boyle (The Queen)

Director: Stephen Frears

Cast: Streep, Hugh Grant, Simon Helberg, Rebecca Ferguson, Nina Arianda, Stanley Townsend, John Kavanagh

I've already trashed this movie plenty on this blog – and this was easy to do because there were two movies about Florence Foster Jenkins out this year, and the one nominated for 2 Oscars was the one that wasn't any good. But I am going to keep trashing it, because now it has been nominated for two Oscars, and Meryl Streep, who has already been nominated more times than any actor in Academy history, keeps actively campaigning for these nominations for reasons (apparently related to ego) that I simply cannot understand. What is fascinating to me is that people actually quite enjoyed this movie. I was trashing it in front of some of my colleagues in the School of Performing Arts where I teach and a lot of them were quick to jump in and defend the film – "Oh! You didn't like it? I thought it was great". I was sort of shocked. Consolata Boyle's nomination here is well deserved, but Streep's decidedly is not. And that she was nominated over Amy Adams in Arrival or Annette Bening in 20th Century Women is a legitimate travesty. The Academy had an opportunity to award a brilliant actress at the top of her game in Bening or a young work-horse of an actress who consistently delivers great performances, and instead they nominated Streep yet again. Don't get me wrong; I think Streep is great, but she isn't great in FFJ and she could afford to sit a few Oscar ceremonies out. If you want to see a good movie about FFJ, watch Marguerite and see Catherine Frot give a superb performance as the singer.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #74 out of 87

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

2 Nominations

• Production Design: Stuart Craig (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, The English Patient, Chaplin, Dangerous Liaisons, The Mission, Gandhi, The Elephant Man) & Anna Pinnock (Into the Woods, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Life of Pi, The Golden Compass, Gosford Park)
• Costume Design: Colleen Atwood (Snow White and the Huntsman, Into the Woods, Alice in Wonderland, Nine, Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Memoirs of a Geisha, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Chicago, Sleepy Hollow, Beloved, Little Women)

Director: David Yates

Cast: Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Dan Fogler, Colin Farrell, Alison Sudol, Ezra Miller, Samantha Morton, Carmen Ejogo, Faith Wood-Balgrove, Kevin Guthrie, Jon Voight, Zoë Kravitz, Johnny Depp

This was cute. It was mostly a movie preparing us for twenty sequels, I thought, but I was very fond of the performances, except for Eddie Redmayne's (did he mumble through the whole thing or was it just me?), and I thought the art direction, the imagery of the fantastic beasts, and the story were fun. The storyline, of course, circulates around a metaphor for queerness and the closet, and that is fine if a little tired (like, that is the whole point of the X-men, already), but Ezra Miller (!) and Colin Farrell and an insane Samantha Morton made all of that worth watching. I also adored Alison Sudol and Dan Fogler in the movie. It is a real shame that the sequel(s) will trade Johnny Depp for Farrell; I'll miss him.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #60 out of 87

Passengers

2 Nominations

• Production Design: Guy Hendrix Dyas (Inception) & Gene Serdena (Her)
• Score: Thomas Newman (Bridge of Spies, Saving Mr. Banks, Skyfall, WALL·E, The Good German, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Finding Nemo, Road to Perdition, American Beauty, Unstrung Heroes, Little Women, The Shawshank Redemption)

Director: Morten Tyldum

Cast: Chris Pratt, Jennifer Lawrence, Laurence Fishburne, Michael Sheen, Julee Cerda

This was not as terrible as I was led to believe it would be. Passengers is a completely absurd melodrama, with big set pieces, lots of action, and tons of cool visual effects. It's much more interesting than any Marvel movie I saw this year, for instance, and much of that – to give this Oscar nomination its proper due – is to the credit of Guy Hendrix Dyas. The problem with Passengers is that it is completely, totally untethered from reality. Nothing that happens in the film is remotely related to anything that might happen in real life. No one in the film makes any decisions even vaguely connected to decisions a real human might make. It's a total fantasy – a kind of perverse Sleeping Beauty in which Aurora actually wants to sleep for another 90 years but is instead awakened by a prince she doesn't want but then falls in love with him anyway. (The character's name, incidentally, is actually Aurora, in case you thought the screenwriter was penning realistic science fiction.) But honestly, as insane and unrealistic as that all is, I wasn't really expecting reality anyway, and the movie drew me in – like any good melodrama should. There were cool effects, the two stars are fun and sexy (and this comes from someone who thinks Jennifer Lawrence is a mostly bad actress), and I rather enjoyed myself. Also, Passengers honestly deserved both of these nominations. It is hard to begrudge this team its recognition. In regard to Thomas Newman, of course, he is a great composer but he will (again) not be going home with an Oscar. This is his thirteenth nomination in this category and fourteenth overall. He will win eventually, but it's gotta be frustrating the hell out of him at this point.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A
My Rating: #54 out of 87

Rogue One

2 Nominations

• Visual Effects
• Sound Mixing

Director: Gareth Edwards

Cast: Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Ben Mendelsohn, Alan Tudyk, Forest Whitaker, Riz Ahmed, Donnie Yen, Wen Jiang, Genevieve O'Reilly, Guy Henry, Mads Mikkelsen, Jimmy Smits

I really liked this. It was exciting and fun... and just dark enough that I didn't get bored by the sort of standard Disney Star Wars cheese that usually accompanies one of these movies. The ending (when Lord Vader arrives) is a surprise of pure pleasure, certainly, and this is the highlight of the film, but the journey itself is also quite enjoyable, and I love Diego Luna (he doesn't get enough press these days; I do wonder why his friend Gael García Bernal got so much more popular than he did) and especially Riz Ahmed, who gives such a touching performance as the pilot. Also, we should note just how cool it is that Disney made this sort of one-off Star Wars movie. It would be interesting to get to watch more films taking place in the Star Wars universe that are only slightly related to the central storyline arc, preferably by different directors experimenting with different things. I have high hopes. We should also have high hopes for Rogue One to win an Oscar: the first for a Star Wars movie since Jedi's single win (also for Visual Effects) in 1984.
Will Win: Visual Effects

Could Win: Sound Mixing

My Rating: #22 out of 87

Back to:
Part 1 - La La Land, Moonlight, Arrival
Part 2 - Manchester by the Sea, Hacksaw Ridge, Lion
Part 3 - Fences, Hell or High Water, Hidden Figures, Jackie

Desolation and Dragons

Last year, my friend Caleb and I shared one of our really nerdy conversations about The Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey. (For the record, we have a lot of incredibly complex conversations about Tolkien lore, and we do this fairly often.) So, of course, we both have already seen the second installment of The Hobbit, which Jackson and co. are calling The Desolation of Smaug. Here is some of our conversation about Hobbit #2. I have tried to link anything that might demand more knowledge of Tolkien's books.

***

Caleb: We went opening night at midnight. Because I still had hope. But I feel the credits should've read based on characters created by J.R.R. Tolkien. I actually think Peter Jackson improved a lot of the story and closed up some of the gaps with Lord of the Rings. And brought the piece in line with the rest of the canon. But it's about 99.95% action and people kicking ass and about .05% story on screen.

Aaron: I agree with you that the plot of The Hobbit is actually improved by all of the stuff with Gandalf running around and trying to figure out what's happening with Sauron. The thing is, that the movie just sort of doesn't feel like anything. I mean, running, running, running. Escape the orcs, escape the wood-elves, escape the men, escape the dragon. In order to what? The idea that the dwarves are going to get back some kind of ancestral homeland just seems sort of preposterously unattainable, doesn't it? And the film never lets us hang out with the dwarves at home – there is that one moment where Glóin shows us portraits of his son and his wife. And they tried to do this a little with Bard and his three wee ones (did we hear the word "da" enough times?). But I want to see these worlds without duress! We get this a little whenever we're in Rivendell in Lord of the Rings and in the first Hobbit, and we get this when we see the Shire, but in Desolation of Smaug, there just isn't much of anything to root for.

Caleb: I do think that Jackson fixed the tone issues with The Hobbit. Bilbo singing and calling the spiders “attercop” has always been a little lame. Glad that was cut. Although Fran Walsh is failing in her research if she wrote “This sword is from Gondolin! My kin!” since Legolas is not of Noldorin ancestry. 

The tie-ins with Gandalf’s search for the necromancer are perfect. That helps us understand the rise of the Dark Lord. Although what was that terrible shot where we see Sauron’s silhouette fade into the eye over and over like a terrible music video. Does the audience really need a beating with the Obvious Bat there? I’m feeling bruised.

I did like that we see Dol Guldur. I’m confused about the hanging cages, though, since it’s always described as “pits”. I suspect that Gandalf will find Thráin II there in the pits since we know that he is missing and died in the pits “in madness and torment” when the last ring was taken from him. I would love to see that thread tied up. I really liked the tombs of the Nazgûl although I’m sure that the Witch King has never been entombed as he has never died. I really don’t know much about the other 8 other than they were living men so I assume they had bodies that could have been put in a tomb. But they are wraiths now and have no true physical form. So why are the iron bars bent? No idea.

Gandalf and Radagast confer

Aaron: I'm totally with you on Gandalf and the necromancer: the stuff with Gandalf figuring out that the evil in the south of the forest is more than he had thought it was. It is interesting and created a much darker, scarier tone for the film. Which was great. Except that Jackson makes those sections of the movie just as bland as the rest of the film. Gandalf looks around at stuff (that we don't recognize), he sees a sign on a tree (for which the viewer has no context), he goes to Dol Guldur and apparently sees things (that we don't see), and so there is nothing for us to figure out as an audience. No mystery, no clues, no puzzle. Gandalf doesn't quite know, and then – bang! – he knows. McKellen's delivery, too, has gotten more drawn out and ponderous as this series continues. "You'll neeeeeeddddd ittttt," he tells Bilbo. It's like Alan Rickman's delivery as Snape.

Caleb:I think the dialog is the worst part. It’s 80% action film cliches (“How do we know we can trust him? We have no choice!” “I thought you were an orc. If I were an orc, you would be dead.”) There’s just no ring of authenticity. Gandalf says "We must force his hand…”. Force his hand is an analogy from poker which makes no sense in the world of the piece. When you read the dialog from The Annals of the Kings and Rulers: Durin’s Folk, the dialog between Gandalf and Thorin in the Prancing Pony is actually pretty good. And I think Jackson knew the dialog was bad and so, like George Lucas before him, decided you might not notice how bad the dialog is if all of the dialog takes place in the middle of insane special effects. That scene between Bilbo and Smaug didn’t need to be set with Bilbo flying all around the crazy piles of gold. That could have been a scene of actual acting. I would have loved that. After tons of running around and jumping and shooting, we have a still, tense scene between those characters before we see the dragon’s full size. But nope, let’s just cover our dialog with green screens and the audience won’t notice that Smaug has no motivation anymore.

 Aaron: You are exactly right. I haven't read this book in a dog's age, but Bilbo's titles – Underhill, barrel-rider, etc. – are meant to trick Smaug, yes? You don't give the dragon your real name because he will use it to destroy you. We know Bilbo can't die because he's in The Lord of the Rings, but at least the stakes could've been raised considerably.

Caleb: Yes! Without a true scene between Smaug and Bilbo, it's very unclear why the dragon decides to attack Laketown, especially when the dwarves, his true enemies, are within the mountain. In the book, Bilbo accidentally tricks Smaug into thinking he a man from Laketown. He's playing at riddles and calls himself "The barrel-rider" which makes Smaug think the Lakemen are trying to steal his gold. He has no idea that the dwarves have arrived. If he knew that the heir of Thráin had returned, Smaug would never have left the mountain until he was dead. In the film, it's as though he just gets distracted and decides to burn up a town... weak motivation which again, makes you lose faith in the characters. 

Aaron: I want to say, too, that the Steven Spielberg moves really started to piss me off this time. I know Jackson adores Spielberg and his many endings (we all laughed at how many times those first couple of movies ended). But, the dwarves all lose hope and then Bilbo shows up to save them from the spiders, then the dwarves all lose hope again in the prisons of the wood-elves, and then Bilbo shows up. The dwarves almost get caught sneaking into Laketown, then (surprise!) they don't get caught. There are no stakes here. Who cares if they get caught? When they did get caught the Master of Laketown threw them a party. But then the dwarves give up again. We can't find the keyhole to the door on the side of the mountain! Guess our quest's over! Who is falling for these little mini-cliffhangers? I'll tell you: exactly no one. So why is the film filled with this phony nonsense?

Caleb: I agree. They give up after 35 seconds of trying to open the hidden door: the characters lose all credibility. Would Thorin really come all this way, fight all of these ridiculous white orcs and then give up his life’s quest after a small setback like that? It makes no sense. It’s very hard to feel anything for a character who is so visible a slave to the writer’s emotional manipulation. And I don’t really want to talk about Thorin’s “plan” to fight the dragon by covering him in molten gold… I mean wow, even for a man with no plan, that was terrible. Maybe next time he’ll try to light the dragon on fire to kill it. Hot gold? Really? That just made him a total idiot. At least the book just made him blind and arrogant to dealing with the dragon.

Aaron: But... we got to see a dragon covered in molten gold! In truth (and you knew this would be the case) I loved absolutely every second of Smaug. The effects were wonderful, I loved when he breathed fire, I loved Benedict Cumberbatch's voice, and I loved Smaug's arrogant, smug, murderous attitude.

Caleb: I think that “Legolas Kicks Everyone’s Ass” just needs to be it’s own film. It’s a distracting plot line (if such long string of action sequences can be called a “plot line") from this movie. I’ve created a graph of Legolas’ screen time [to the right]. Also I’m pretty sure that Bilbo can’t swim or at least not very well. In the film though, he was the Michael Phelps of white-water free styling.

Aaron: It's the style of the movie that I just can't get past. He's filmed it with a hundred of these micro-cliffhangers – none of which we ever take seriously. I mean, did anyone in the film actually die? A real action movie kills off its cast members as the movie progresses. So that there are stakes to the fake action that is happening on screen. In Desolation, every single person in the film is basically as invulnerable as Gandalf.

Caleb: Not entirely true... Don't forget that touching moment when Legolas stems his bleeding nose and ponders the mortality of the Eldar in Middle Earth for at least 0.36 seconds. And then continues his one-elf quest to punch to death all of the orcs.

Aaron: Wow, you disliked this movie so much more than I. I just thought there was not much to it.

Caleb: No, I actually enjoyed watching the film. The pace is good and there's more than enough action to keep you entertained. I just wish there was a story.

The Evil Queen

My friend Julie and I chart our personal journey with Snow White and the Huntsman, which we both expected to be bad, but which I rather liked.

Julie: I have candles lit, and my popcorn and beer. I am ready.
Aaron: I'm a litle sad it's PG-13. I love an R movie.
Julie: Well, it has Kristen Stewart. She's not old enough for R-rated films.
Aaron: Truth.
Julie: Just R-rated personal lives (did you hear how she had that affair with that director? Trollop)
Aaron: Don't hate. Slut power.

Julie: This is Beauty and the Beast. They're already stealing shit! That red rose.
Aaron: I think they're stealing from Into the Woods.
Julie: I hope they start singing.

Aaron: This shot stolen from Gladiator. Oh this art direction is pretty.
Julie: Not as pretty as Anonymous.
Aaron: Nonsense.
Julie: Um, that looks like Anonymous. That snow.
Aaron: That Snow! Hahaha. The snow was the best thing about Anonymous. At least this looks like it was shot on location.

Julie: And at Medieval Times.
Aaron: I already like the look of this, though. Even if it does look like Medieval Times. Ooo. This army is spooky. They just STOOD there! They're made of glass!!
Julie: Oooooo! This is not the snow white I know! How festive.
Aaron: I like it. Speaking of sluts. This king!
Julie: Haha.
Aaron: Look at her boobs!
Julie: They are constricted. Let them have some air.
Aaron: This child actor is adorbs! I like her smile.
Julie: She won't last long though. K-slut is coming.
Aaron: $10 says Kristen Stewart never smiles once.
Julie: Oh man. I would lose that bet. Not fair. I love that Charlize wears her crown to bed. During sex.
Aaron: "Men use women". I love it. This is so feminist!
Julie: Oh, it is because she is killing him. Niiiiice. This is like Teeth! Without the killer vagina.
Aaron: OH MY GOD. I love this.
Julie: Oh, that score.
Aaron: This is so campy. She just wears a crown the whole time.
Julie: I would too. Let's be honest.
Aaron: This brother is a new addition to the myth. Who is this Rutger Hauer-like character?
Julie: Well, does the queen actually kill the king in the tale? I thought he just died.  
Aaron: I think so. yeah.
Julie: Riot.
Aaron: When kings die there's always a riot.
Julie: Really? I'm googling that shit. She marries a widowed king who has a daughter called Snow White from his first wife. The Queen envies Snow White's beauty, and so tries to have her killed, setting the story in motion. That's it. That's all Wikipedia will tell me.
Aaron: I love how they managed to put the mirror on the wall just in time for her to say "Mirror, mirror on the wall". 
Julie: Oooo, the terminator! That liquid shit is so James Cameron.
Aaron: So true.
Julie: K-Steewwwwwwwww. Isn't this Cinderella now?
Aaron: My skin would be as white as snow if I never saw fuckin daylight, too.
Julie: What is she doing in those cinders?
Aaron: Girlfriend is cold.
Julie: Girl needs to go to the jersey shore.
Aaron: The Lord's Prayer?
Julie: Uh oh. God stuff.
Aaron: Hahaha
Julie: As in life, her hair goes unwashed.
Aaron: IS SHE EATING THE HEART OF A BIRD? I LOVE HER.
Julie: I HOPE SO. ICE QUEEN. She is fun.
Aaron: The brother's Dorothy Hammill do is not cute.
Julie: NUDITY. I don't know what you're talking about. Hot.
Aaron: In ancient Rome, the empress Poppaea used to bathe in mik.
Julie: She wears her crown in the bath, too! What the fuck is happening?
Aaron: I do not care. It is just too fabulous.
Julie: And what are those claws? I want.
Aaron: That dress is amazing. And these claws are fantastic.
Julie: OOOOOOO. Girl got stabbed! Her crown could impale someone. Did she just eat his heart by like osmosis or something?
Aaron: I can't tell. She did some chicanery, though.
Julie: WHAT IS HAPPENING
Aaron: I think we're just getting portraits of how awful she is.
Julie: This dude is my favorite. Creepy albino.
Aaron: Dear heavens let there be some incest.
Julie: Yes, please! A-Jolie style. Lesbianism?
Aaron: It's good for what ails you.
Julie: How is she doing all this? Where did these powers come from? Did I miss something?
Aaron: Wait. Why didn't she kill the boy that way?
Julie: Because she wanted to air-eat his heart?
Aaron: You didn't miss anything. She's, like, super-old or something, but she has magic powers.
Julie: Humph.
Aaron: And only she can see the Terminator?
Julie: It looked like big bro could... right? Or does he just think sis is cray cray?
Aaron: I think he is jells.
Julie: Totes jeals.

Aaron: I think Kristen Stewart might be sort of... smiling.
Julie: Haha. Ewwwwwwww creepy touching. Well done, K-Stew. Badass.
Aaron: I wonder how come the brother doesn't have any magic powers..
Julie: Because he is an albino.

Aaron: This cameraman isn't quite sure how to shoot a running scene, I feel.
Julie: whoa! sewer slide!
Aaron: I like the landscape shots though.
Julie: Yeah, the cinematography leaves a little to be desired at times. No oscar for you... Greig Fraser.
Aaron: Art direction and costumes totes deserve nominations, though, right?
Julie: Art direction is rad.
Aaron: Random white horse.
Julie: I hope he is a unicorn.
Aaron: Why isn't he? I mean, they can make up whatever they want, right? Give me unicorns and dragons.
Julie: I'm still up in the air about costumes. K-Stew needs some new ones. Those sleeves do not work for me. Oooo, dragons! Yes, please.
Aaron: But the Queen's costumes! They are already more interesting than the three costumes the Queen wore in Mirror Mirror.
Julie: I know! Hers are good. But Medieval Times and K-stew need help.You know I did not see that shit.
Aaron: The costumes were by Eiko Ishioka. That's why I went.
Julie: Oh, that is right. So sad she ended on that movie. Julia Roberts. Oy.

Julie: I hope the trees start attacking her à la Wizard of Oz.
Aaron: EW. This is so good.
Julie: They look like they might.
Aaron: I love how imaginative this whole thing is. This is disgusting!! I am loving it. It's like she's hallucinating.
Julie: Are we in Harry Potter now?
Aaron: I. LOVE. THIS.
Julie: You. Are. Drunk.

Aaron: This costume is fabulous, too!
Julie: Ooo, I like that neck-crown thing. That outfit looks like it was in Wonderland. Yeah, that's right: I just referenced Frank Wildhorn. She is CRAY. And violent! look at those eyes! He loves her. It's kind of sweet.
Aaron: Have I not given you all? she said. Incest. Clearly. That's what that means.
Julie: Hellooooo, sailor. Or huntsman, I guess. This should be called The Evil Queen. I don't know why they think we care about those two.
Aaron: I only care about the Queen and how fabulous she is.
Julie: Is he Irish? Why is he the only one with an accent? Wait, does he have an accent? What is going on with his voice?
Aaron: He does have one.
Julie: (Am I drunk?)
Aaron: But Charlize has an accent too. She is vaguely British or something.
Julie: By the way, where are we? Did they say? I mean, we should be in Germany, but that's clearly not happening.
Aaron: Things look vaguely medieval. Which could be anywhere, right?
Julie: Yes... but Snow White is a German fairy tale. K-Stew should have an accent! Wouldn't that be festive?
Aaron: Has she said anything yet?
Julie: Ha. Just a few lines. To albino. When he tried to rape her. Sort of. I need more beer.
Aaron: This movie is not nearly as bad as Anonymous. I kind of like it. She does have an accent.
Julie: She is annoying.
Aaron: She's just sort of helpless so far.
Julie: You're right. This is not nearly as bad as Anonymous. Which means it's not as fun.
 
Julie: EWWWWW
Aaron: This is so gross!! I am into it.
Julie: Yet you don't watch horror movies. I don't get it. Oh, she is British. But she is not "valuable". That is a lie.
Aaron: She is totally doing an accent. It is no good.
Julie: Truth. She isn't very attractive either.
Aaron: I mean, what makes this girl so damn special? That's what I don't get. Kristen Stewart aside.
Julie: Seriously. Just because she was born a Princess?
Aaron: Oh yeah. That's what it is. Nobility.
Julie: Glad I could clear that up.
Aaron: Ah the value of the rich. This demands a materialist analysis.

Julie: Snakes in a forest! Where is Sam J when you need him? I'm going to have some gummy worms now.

Aaron: This guy is a cutie!
Julie: Who?
Aaron: The son of the Duke who was her boyfriend when they were kids.
Julie: Oooo. And here I thought she would get with the Huntsman. But I guess he wants his dead wife, eh?
Aaron: Are you Canadian?
Julie: For tonight.
Aaron: That's a new accent for this film.
Julie: HAHA. I'm just trying to keep it diverse. Oh, they're gettin' it on later.
Aaron: She has four expressions.
Julie: Oh, Aaron. You're way too generous. She has one. Dour and dour.

Julie: Nice fur!
Aaron: I love that the queen has so many different crowns, too.

Aaron: Such effects.
Julie: Oooooh, trolls! Visual effects oscar??
Aaron: This director loves Guillermo Del Toro. Right? I mean, this film is basically a GDT homage.
Julie: This visual effects guy has done Tim Burton and Pirates of the Caribbean. And Clash of the Titans. Haha.
Aaron: She has, like, feelings or something. She just tamed the wild troll. By looking at it.
Julie: The troll is kind of cute. He needs a hug.
Aaron: Oh it's like how the birds love Snow White in Disney's movie.

I'm WISHING

For the ONE I love.

To FIND me.

TODAY.

Julie: HAHA. Who is this bitch?
Aaron: New character. Another woman. This film is so feminist. I love it.
Julie: Just because women are the main characters does not make it feminist, A-ron.
Aaron: Yes it does. Most Hollywood films have 0 women. Or one woman.
Julie: K-Stew is depending on a man right now.
Aaron: No. She is finding her own power.
Julie: Yeah, ok.

Julie: How is she wearing eyeshadow? She was in prison for years and just ran through a forest!
Aaron: She is magically beautiful and white.
Julie: That girl in prison. What was the point of her? She was like that sickly girl in Jane Eyre. Who loved god.
Aaron: She gave her youth to Charlize.
Julie: She did? How silly of her.
Aaron: Haha.

Julie: Nudity!
Aaron: Naked Charlize. Oo! Girl is a mess.
Julie: Girl needs a cheeseburger. Those ribs. Oy. She is a vampire! Drinkin' the blood.
Aaron: Drinking blood is always related to eternal youth. Or anthropophagia in general.
Julie: Anthro what?
Aaron: Cannibalism keeps you young!

Aaron: We should never have beeeeeen there. Her accent! The best. But Chris Hemsworth is Scottish. Dwarves! About time.
Julie: Scottish! yes. I am bad with accents. That dude has orange hair.
Aaron: Oh they're not really dwarves. They didn't hire dwarves!? It's all CG.
Julie: Is Julie Taymor involved? What is with that bird mask?
Aaron: Eyes Wide Shut?
Julie: Hahahaha. Where is Tom then? He is kind of a dwarf.
Aaron: Who? Oh. Tom Cruise. I forget about him sometimes.

Aaron: Finally a person of color! The first one.
Julie: Are you keeping count? Are you sure one of those medieval knights wasn't Latino or something?
Aaron: Hahaha. The movie is all about how white her skin is. I always keep count about how many people of color I see. Don't you?

Julie: Sanctuaaaaaary! Like Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Aaron: God help the outcasts.
Julie: She kind of smiled again. Ha. Indeed. God help them.
Aaron: Notice now that we are in fairyland, she ain't sayin' the Lord's prayer.
Julie: She gave up her faith so easily.
Aaron: This music is totes a Jim Cameron thing, too.
Julie: Titanic.
Aaron: Right? It is exactly the same.
Julie: Love. So. Much. And like Kate Winslet, she needs to wash her hair. I'm sorry, I just can't look at that grease for much longer.
Aaron: I mean, miss thing was imprisoned.
Julie: I do not give a shit. She is in the forest by some stream. Hop to it.
Aaron: Ooo true. I think that is the first thing I would do. Run some soap through my filthy mane.
Julie: Right? I hate feeling dirty. But K-stew likes it.

Julie: Gollum!
Aaron: Ooo Gollum! I like that all these beasts are around. What is going on??
Julie: Is she making friends with the forest?
Aaron: I don't understand. I think we are supposed to know, but I don't quite get it.
Julie: Gollum 1 and 2! Yes, those animals love her. It'd be better if they sang though.
Aaron: Please tell me GDT is the voice of this deer.
Julie: HAHA
Aaron: Ew.
Julie: Ewww, wash those fingernails
Aaron: So nasty. She has magic powers. She is the ONE. Like Harry Potter.
Julie: According to whom? The albino deer? Why are there so many albinos in this film?
Aaron: This is traumatic!
Julie: Oh, the gollums are faeries. I just realized.
Aaron: They couldn't have saved the fucking stag?
Julie: No. Sacrifice.
Aaron: Like Aslan.
Julie: They are trying to kill the one man of color! This film is racist.
Aaron: This film has been racist.
Julie: Well yes, but now it is obvious.
Aaron: I miss the evil queen.
Julie: me too. I hope she is shopping.
Aaron: Another fabulous outfit.
Julie: She is feeling him dying.
Aaron: That brother of hers must've been like part of her or something. I love Charlize Theron in this.
Julie: she is getting old!
Aaron: Poor thing.
Julie: Ooooo. I'll miss albino brother.
Aaron: I will not.
Julie: I don't know how you can't miss that wig.

Aaron: Singing dwarves. It's a preview of The Hobbit.
Julie: Hi-ho, hi-ho...
Aaron: HAHA.
Julie: This is very Lord of the Rings, you are correct.

Aaron: The look of this film is constantly changing. It is a relief. A smile?
Julie: These two are quite possibly the most boring people alive. I don't understand how anyone has hired her. She has no talent whatsoever. Her range is non-existent. Hopefully he will die.
Aaron: He is cute. Hush your mouth.
Julie: He needs to shave.
Aaron: Not to get into my bed he doesn't.
Julie: Well, into mine, he does.
Aaron: She needs to liven up. And wash her hands.

Aaron: IT'S NOT HIM. This is great.
Julie: Yesssssssssss. That fucker. He just got more interesting.
Aaron: It's her in disguise.
Julie: Wake up, huntsman!!
Aaron: I want the Queen to win.
Julie: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Creeptastic!
Aaron: THAT DRESS.
Julie: (He remains boring.) Ooooo love the bird cape! Boring boyfriend is back. Time to put her ass in a glass coffin.
Aaron: Haha. Huntsman has lots of feelings
Julie: He is the only one.

Aaron: OH MY GOD. These birds.
Julie: Ewwwwwwwwwwww
Aaron: This is so grotesque. I fucking love it.
Julie: That sludge is cool. She is a hot mess.
Aaron: Everything related to this queen is cool. The hottest. Of messes.
Julie: Sad boyfriend.
Aaron: More fur. They love fur.
Julie: Fur instead of glass? I do not approve
Aaron: Neither does PETA.
Julie: Haha.
Aaron: She has the same expression as when she was alive. Who can tell the difference?
Julie: Why is he drunk and crying? Why does he care so much? This is his big monologue. His big moment!
Aaron: He is lovely. I love how he sort of is slurring too. Because he is drunk. He is good. I like him: Thor.
Julie: I KNEW HE HAD A THING FOR HER. Poor dude.
Aaron: Sherlock fuckin' Holmes. The movie is called Snow White and the Huntsman.
Julie: Yeah, but he coulda been a father figure to her. It didn't have to go there, A-ron. She has a boyfriend after all. Why is she alive? How did that even happen? I am missing everything.
Aaron: True Love's Kiss. Or something?
Julie: I thought this wasn't Disney? Zombie K-Stew is trying to inspire the troops!
Aaron: "I'd rather die today than live another day of this death." What the hell is she talking about? Ooooooh. It's Henry V.
Julie: Ha. I do not know.

Julie: She is young again!
Aaron: Another new crown. I love Charlize Theron in this.
Julie: I love her in everything. Even that Young Adult mess.
Aaron: She is so good in that!

Aaron: Uh oh. Dwarves used for comic relief. Just the same as every other Snow White movie. Ugh.
Julie: You knew it had to  happen.
Aaron: I hate that shit. Ableist nonsense: They're so funny! Their bodies are different from ours.
Julie: I mean, this movie is racist. Did you really think it would have a politically correct view of dwarves?
Aaron: Touché.
Julie: If this movie had more plot to go with all these effects, it wouldn't be half bad.
Aaron: I think it's pretty good as is, really. Sometimes effects are enough for me.
Julie: No, my eyes start to glaze over. That's why I can't watch all those fast/furious movies. Too many action sequences just bore me.
Aaron: But these effects are like magical and shit. I am into that. Like black oil pouring onto people. That's cool. If I were this queen right about now, I'd be like "You're coming back to me?" She's been looking for her the whole movie. And now K-Stew just runs upstairs like "Sorry I stayed out past curfew!"
Julie: She is just asking for it

Aaron: Badass!
Julie: This is pretty cool
Aaron: YES
Julie: Ooo that father reference made her angry. As though we care about the father who was in the movie for all of 5 seconds.
Aaron: So true.
Julie: I like that metallic shrug she's rockin'
Aaron: THIS IS SO COOL.

Aaron: Kristen Stewart is so boring. She says "you can't have my heart" without moving her mouth.
Julie: Because I don't have one! Too much Botox. You know how those Hollywood kids are, A-ron.
Aaron: She's like 22. She's younger than we are.
Julie: Whatever, she started that shit in the womb
Aaron: She looks like she's had 50 years of misery, though.
Julie: Hahahaha Ooo, they put some blush on her! not so pale.
Aaron: Art direction's looking sort of Flemish now.
Julie: It's like the EPCOT of art direction

Julie: That dress is Ug. Ly.
Aaron: Yeah it is. Don't they know their previous queen was way more fabulous?
Julie: WHO IS SHE GOING TO CHOOSE?
Aaron: I am on tinterhooks.
Julie: She smiled again!
Aaron: She vaguely smiled again.
Julie: But they aren't going to tell us!! CLIFFHANGER.
Aaron: It's like The Hunger Games.
Julie: That was dumb. As is this music.
Aaron: I thought it was totally cool. The plot was non existent. And Kristen Stewart is a black hole of feelings. Having her at the center of a movie is like the kiss of death.
Julie: There weren't enough effects to make up for the lack in plot or in acting.
Aaron: Charlize was AMAZING. She was the CAMPIEST.
Julie: Charlize was super-fun. This was my first K-Stew experience, and I think it must be my last. She is god-awful.
Aaron: It won't be.
Julie: Yes, it will. Unless she is in a film that is Oscar-nominated, I can avoid her.
Aaron: She will be.
Julie: Don't even kid about something like that.

Aaron: Good night.
Julie: Night! Sleep well. Dream of K-Stew's greasy hair.

Anderson for Youngsters

While Wes Anderson's last film, which I loved, was definitely a movie for children, his new film Moonrise Kingdom, is a film that is about children. Moonrise has really got me thinking more about all of Anderson's output as films about childhood.

(This is sort of a duh moment for me, actually. 

Of course they are all films about childhood.)

At any rate, Moonrise has some of the usual suspects in the Wes Anderson universe and some new faces, as well. Bruce Willis is excellent. Edward Norton is better than I've seen him in a long time as an ineffectual and rather depressed boy scout leader, and Tilda Swinton plays it completely straight (and typically intense) as a social services worker who goes by the name "Social Services" for the entirety of the film.

It's a very funny movie, of course, and quirky in the standard (but completely endearing) Wes Anderson way. I enjoyed the whole thing. The film has a kind of omniscient narrator who is in the film and played hilariously by Bob Balaban. It's all charming and quirky and overly clever, but it also – and this is the surprising part – avoids treating childhood in a whimsical or nostalgic way. Anderson's kids are occasionally violent; they are complicated and mysterious, and they make decisions through circuitous trains of thought. One of the things I really loved about the movie is that it treats children neither as miniature adults nor as uncomplicated heroes (I'm thinking particularly of the films of David Yates).

And then there's the music. Music is always noticeable in Anderson's movies, and Moonrise Kingdom is no exception. The film opens with Benjamin Britten's "The Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra", and ends with a kind of Young Person's Guide to Alexandre Desplat's Score. Britten recurs and important places in the movie's narrative, as well. Anderson has some of the characters perform in Britten's opera Noye's Fludde, and because the plot is about young love, the two-by-two idea of Noah's Ark resonates nicely, and then... the film also includes its own flood. The whole thing fits together beautifully.

Also: here's a little Moonrise Kingdom commercial...

Cousin Ben Troop Screening with Jason Schwartzman from Jason Schwartzman

2012's Nominees: Part 3 of 10

The Tree of Life

3 Nominations

• Picture
• Director: Terrence Malick (The Thin Red Line)
• Cinematography: Emmanuel Lubezki (Children of Men, The New World, Sleepy Hollow, A Little Princess)

Director: Malick

Cast: Brad Pitt, Jessica Chastain, Sean Penn, Hunter McCracken, Laramie Eppler, Tye Sheridan, Fiona Shaw.

This is my favorite movie of the year – and I suppose it was bound to be. When Malick makes a movie it is my favorite movie of the year. That's just how it goes. The master has, of course, never won an Oscar; he will not be winning his first one this year; and I don't imagine him, quite frankly, ever winning an Oscar. And he doesn't need to. He's going to keep making a great movie every five years or so with or without awards, right? I also just want to say that I was over the moon that this made it to be one of the nine Best Picture nominees. I know a lot of people (shout out to Michael, Dayne, and Jordan) for whom this is their absolute favorite picture of the year, but I wasn't really imagining it as one of the nominees. I am delighted. As for Lubezki, his work on the last two films for which he was nominated, The New World and Children of Men was just extraordinary. He's never won, and I just don't think he can be ignored this year. (Incidentally, The New World was my favorite movie of 2005 and Children of Men was my favorite movie of 2006. Coincidence?)

Will Win: Cinematography

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #1 out of 65

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

3 Nominations

• Actor: Gary Oldman
• Adapted Screenplay: Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughan
• Original Score: Alberto Iglesias (The Kite Runner, The Constant Gardener)

Director: Tomas Alfredson

Cast: John Hurt, Oldman, Colin Firth, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hardy, Toby Jones, Mark Strong, David Dencik, Ciarán Hinds, Kathy Burke, Simon McBurney, Amanda Fairbank-Hynes.

I loved this movie too! People have found its plot confusing and its acting underwhelming. I had the precise opposite reaction. The number of talented actors in this film is staggering, the plot is completely engaging and unexpected, and the story is a deeply moving one about betrayal, sacrifice, honesty, and loyalty – as well as violence, intrigue, and espionage. Gary Oldman is great, and so is his supporting cast. The score to this film is absolutely gorgeous, and I have been listening to it on a loop for at least a week now. It will not be winning on Oscar night, but it is lovely nonetheless.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #12 out of 65

Albert Nobbs

3 Nominations

• Actress: Glenn Close (Dangerous Liaisons, Fatal Attraction, The Natural, The Big Chill, The World According to Garp)
• Supporting Actress: Janet McTeer (Tumbleweeds)
• Makeup

Director: Rodrigo García

Cast: Close, Mia Wasikowska, Aaron Johnson, McTeer, Brendan Gleeson, Pauline Collins, Phyllida Law, Jonathan Rhys Myers.

This is a very sweet, very small movie that had a couple of excellent sequences and that I liked quite a bit. It is based on a play by Simone Benmussa, and Glenn Close is superb in it. Janet McTeer earns a well-deserved second Oscar nomination: she is fantastic in this. The film itself is a big departure from García's usual work, and I'm not sure if I understand it, but I can see why he was drawn to the material, even if it's not his usual thing.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #25 out of 65

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

3 Nominations

• Art Direction: Stuart Craig (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, The English Patient, Chaplin, Dangerous Liaisons, The Mission, Gandhi, The Elephant Man), Stephenie McMillan (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, The English Patient)
• Visual Effects
• Makeup

Director: David Yates

Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, Tom Felton, Alan Rickman, Michael Gambon, John Hurt, Evanna Lynch, Matthew Lewis, Jason Isaacs, Helen McCrory, Maggie Smith, Jim Broadbent, David Thewlis.

No film from the Harry Potter franchise has ever won an Oscar. It's also never been nominated for makeup. So... I think this is the year. The makeup really is extraordinary – that Voldemort face. Seriously. But in this one there is also the makeup job on Ciarán Hinds as Dumbledore's brother and that dead-body-slash-chandelier in the first Voldemort scene. It makes me shudder just to think about it. As for being impartial about this franchise, I don't think I can be. It's easy to say I didn't like The Order of the Phoenix (I didn't) but I love, love, love Harry and Ron and Hermione, and when I recently re-watched The Deathly Hallows: Parts 1 & 2 I was reminded just how good these movies were. Objectivity? Forget about it.

Will Win: Makeup

Could Win: Visual effects

My Rating: #21 out of 65

Thanksgiving in August: Danny & Ashley

I met Ashley in 2001 in college. She was bright and bubbly then, and she has the same good-hearted, kind energy now. We were both in a production of Tartuffe in college, and the next year we were in Othello. Ashley played Desdemona and – actually I don't know if I've ever told her this – I played Roderigo (who was in love with her character) and because I died early in act five, I was dragged offstage by a couple of actors and I used to sit in the wings and watch her death scene every night. Ashley was lovely in the show, and I would sit on stage right crying as Othello murdered her.

Ashley also introduced me to the Harry Potter books. She was convincing everyone to read them back then, and she got me hooked. I remember during Othello the whole cast went to a midnight screening of Chamber of Secrets after performing the show that night. I fell asleep. I've actually gone to several midnight showings of the Harry Potter movies with Ashley since then. I remember seeing the fourth one (I think) at Universal City at, like 12.45a one year. And most recently, I went with her and Danny and Justin and Elizabeth to the series' final installment in Westwood CA.

I met Danny when he and Ashley started dating, and I immediately loved him. Ashley was performing in a production of Taming of the Shrew I was directing in 2004 (turns out, Bianca can be really funny). I remember buying Danny a drink when he turned twenty-one: he drank Cape Cods back then. The following summer, I convinced Danny to act in a production of The Two Gentleman of Verona I was doing for the Southern California Shakespeare Festival. By then we were hanging out all the time.

D&A were both in the production of Boys' Life I did. Nowadays, they run the theatre where we staged that show. They are both wonderful performers and very funny comedians. As a group they are so funny that when they got married last year, Ashley had to put a moratorium on doing bits for twenty-four hours until the wedding was over. Speaking of marriages, I was privileged to be asked to perform Danny & Ashley's wedding on May 31st, 2010. It's a day I will never forget. It was a gorgeous ceremony, and I was so honored and proud to be able to play such a big part in such an amazing day. The feeling of standing between two of my dearest friends while they pledged their lives to each other was like nothing else in this world.

I am so eternally grateful to know and love these two people and to be such a large part of their lives. I can't imagine my world without them. Generous, funny, kind, warm, caring, and nurturing. These are two of my favorite people in the world, and I almost can't remember a time before the time that we were great friends. It feels like forever. I love you guys.

2011's Nominees: Part 5 of 12

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON

2 Nominations:

  · Best Animated Feature

  · Best Score: John Powell

Director: Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders
Cast: Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson, America Ferrera, Jonah Hill, Kristen Wiig, T.J. Miller

 
So much fun. Also, this film swept at the Annie awards this year, and though it is expected that Toy Story 3 will win the Animated Feature Oscar (you will recall that TS3 is nominated for five Oscars), the Annie sweep had to feel good for the HtTYD team. Good for them. I liked this film more than TS3 too, so I am with them, although, truth be told, I pretty much love dragons and see all movies with dragons in them, so if you make a movie about different varieties of dragons and that involves a dragon that is basically a giant pet cat, you can bet I am in. I love that this got nominated in the Score category, by the way. John Powell has never been nominated before.

Will Win: N/A
Might Win: N/A
My Rating: #17 out of 50

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1

2 Nominations:

  · Best Art Direction: Stuart Craig (The Elephant Man, Gandhi, The Mission, Dangerous Liaisons, Chaplin, The English Patient, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) and Stephenie McMillan (The English Patient, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

  · Best Visual Effects

Director: David Yates
Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Bill Nighy, Fiona Shaw, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Ralph Fiennes

 
After a couple of stinkers, David Yates hits one out of the park with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. It is not only filled with thrilling sequences and plenty of suspense, but the sensitive moments avoid being cloying, and Yates manages to hit all the right emotional notes. The Potter films continue to be contrived in terms of plot – there is one near-escape after another, and the possibility of magical things happening is always present and a little predictable after a while, but this is rather a good film, and if the plot feels contrived the characters and their feelings do not. HP7 is satisfying, exciting, and surprising. And I never thought I'd say this, but I actually think it deserves both of the Oscars for which it is nominated and also deserved a nomination for Original Score – now that they've moved completely away from Williamsesque composition and down darker paths, the music has become both intriguing and beautiful.

Will Win: N/A
Might Win: N/A
My Rating: #19 out of 50

ANOTHER YEAR

1 Nomination:

  · Best Original Screenplay: Mike Leigh (Secrets and Lies, Topsy-Turvy, Vera Drake, Happy-Go-Lucky)

Director: Leigh
Cast: Jim Broadbent, Lesley Manville, Ruth Sheen, Peter Wight, Oliver Maltman, David Bradley, Martin Savage, Michele Austin, Imelda Staunton, Karina Fernandez

 
To say this movie is good is a vast understatement. This is a film by a master filmmaker at the top of his game—it is his fifth nomination for writing. The film is extraordinary: subtle, sensitive, filled with tiny insights about people, and I found it ultimately devastating in a  quiet, disturbing, middlebrow way. It is also filled with fabulous performances and if it had been released in, say, October, it probably would have racked up a few more nominations. Lesley Manville gives the performance of a lifetime here (she is this year's Kristin Scott-Thomas in I've Loved You So Long

) and Ruth Sheen and Jim Broadbent are great as usual. Imelda Staunton, in a smaller role, gives a rich, captivating performance. I also really loved seeing Karina Fernandez in a bigger part when she was so brilliant in Leigh's last movie. 

Will Win: N/A
Might Win: N/A
My Rating: #6 out of 50

HP6

I recognize that a lot of popular film critics have commented that there are far too many feelings in the movie. But the problem with David Yates's Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince as I see it is that it spends far too little time on feelings that matter and too much time on nonsense.

The most important feelings (as I recall--and it's been awhile, so I could be screwing this up) in the book version of HP6 are Draco Malfoy's personal struggle with trying to get that transporting cabinet to work, his coping with being a failure etc. and the brilliantly written chapter of the book where Dumbledore and Harry go to destroy the locket/horcrux in the grotto. In the book Dumbledore begs Harry not to feed him any more of the liquid because he is in so much pain and Harry, despite his love for his teacher, uses trickery and deception to get Dumbledore to drink it. In other words, he knows that he is causing his father figure pain, but he pushes through it, at much psychic expense to himself. It is a thrilling, powerful sequence. In the book.


In the movie neither of these real emotional struggles is given much time. They don't seem that important to screenwriter Steve Kloves or director Yates. Michael Gambon doesn't even really step up his acting in this sequence.

Instead of interesting and complicated emotions, Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince spends most of its time surveying the lovesick machinations and foibles of the teenage denizens of Hogwarts. HP6, of course, has nothing new to say about teenage love, and it isn't particularly interested in bringing a new perspective, anyway. Rather, it spends its time confirming everything we already know about adolescent emotional rollercoasters, and in making us all feel like we are so much wiser than the kids in the film. We smile at their lovesicknesses and absurdities because we have already emerged from this phase of our lives and into the "serious phase" where love has actual consequences. It's all very shallow.

Still, there is some good stuff in HP6. Jim Broadbent is a wonderful Professor Slughorn. And he is actually acting in the film (unlike Gambon). I also really like Nicholas Hooper's score. And I think that the three leads are becoming really delightful actors. Daniel Radcliffe has some moments as Harry that I would even venture to call inspired. (I thought the entire Liquid Luck sequence was fantastic). And I love me some Emma Watson.