Monsters and Saviors

I don't normally post a giant poster here, but, like, it's Godzilla, and he/she is one huge motherfucker. In fact, my friends and I were trying to compare Godzilla to the size of a Tyrannosaurus or a Stegosaurus and, well, they are not really comparable to Gojira him/herself. This is one enormous monster.

This movie is enormous too. In fact, that is really the most important thing to say about this movie. About six minutes of it are really, really cool. The rest of the movie is intensely frustrating. Director Gareth Edwards shows us about 3 or 4 seconds of great action at a time, and then absolutely insists on cutting away from exactly the thing that the audience wants to see. This tactic happens about 25 times (I swear I am not exaggerating), and it started to drive me crazy after about the 5th time. The whole time I was thinking why isn't he letting me watch his movie? He has hidden an awesome six-minute flick within this two hour monstrosity and gives us just a little bit of awesomeness at a time.

All of this is further complicated by the really boring family at the middle of the film. I really like both Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen, but they were both lifeless in this – staring wide-eyed and soullessly into Seamus McGarvey's camera – and waiting for something to happen. And I was too.

The original Gojira

Godzilla him/herself is, of course, totally awesome. Just totally awesome. I could have watched her/him swim around the Pacific and walk around Hawaii/San Francisco/Tokyo and eat radiation and knock buildings over with that tail for at least 40 minutes. Maybe that's gonna be in the sequel...? It sure wasn't in this movie.

There isn't much else to say, I guess, except that I was totally annoyed by the absurdly heterosexist gendering of the other monsters in the movie (they're called MUTOs). The only thing this "female" monster cares about is reproducing, and she lays her eggs (I am not sure how the eggs are fertilized or anything like that, and the film doesn't bother to try to explain that), and then she leaves them just hanging around, but then when the eggs are destroyed, the screenwriters have her keen over her unborn young in this bizarre way. The whole thing made me cringe.

And they made Godzilla into this weird Christ figure, sacrificing her/himself in order to save the world. Sacrifice is all good and well, but the film "says" that Gojira is a kind of embodiment of nature itself. In other words, he/she should actually be rather indifferent about humanity per se.

Oh, I know what else there is to say: I've seen Guillermo Del Toro's Pacific Rim (which I really liked and reviewed here), so basically the whole time I was watching this Gojira reboot I was just wondering why they even tried. Pacific Rim already did this right.

Oscar Nominees 2013: Part 7 of 13

Mirror Mirror

1 Nomination

• Costume Design: Eiko Ishioka (Dracula)

Director: Tarsem Singh

Cast: Julia Roberts, Armie Hammer, Lily Collins, Nathan Lane, Martin Klebba, Jordan Prentice, Danny Woodburn, Joe Gnoffo, Mark Povinelli, Sebastian Saraceno, Ronald Lee Clark

This movie claims to be the Snow White story from the perspective of the wicked queen (except that there is nothing dark or spooky about Mirror Mirror at any point in its running time. Instead it's a tongue-in-cheek, totally absurd, candy-coated version of Snow White. But unlike Snow White and the Huntsman, which is all about the wicked queen, Mirror Mirror isn't even really about the wicked queen. Instead it's about the handsome prince that's coming to save Snow White from the wicked queen. The handsome prince is Armie Hammer, so that's nice to look at, of course, and then there are the costumes – the reason I saw this movie on a giant screen instead of waiting for DVD. The costumes are by Eiko Ishioka, the legendary designer. And these costumes are out of this world. There is a dance/ball sequence where everyone wears a different animal headpiece, for heaven's sake. It is opulent. Tarsem, on the other hand, needs to get his act together and direct a good movie toute suite.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #60 out of 63

Frankenweenie

1 Nomination

• Animated Feature

Director: Tim Burton

Cast: Charlie Tahan, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Sheen, Martin Landau, Winona Ryder, James Hiroyuki Liao

I really liked this little movie. (These days I tend to like Tim Burton's animated movies much more than I like his live-action movies.) Frankenweenie is disturbed, but also charming and cute. In a lot of ways it is a delightful tribute to Ishirō Honda and James Whale, but also references (in an interesting, charming way) Burton's own oeuvre – with Winona Ryder and Martin Landau serving as two of the voices. It's a retelling of Mary Shelley's Gothic novel, but with children and dead pets and a strong atheist sensibility. I was a fan. I am expecting this picture to win the Oscar at the moment, although Wreck-it Ralph just recently picked up the Annie for Best Animated Feature. Burton's movie is so much better than Wreck-it Ralph that it's not even worth comparing, but let me just say again how imaginative this movie is – an adaptation of a Gothic novel on a schoolyard... with a puppy. It's grotesque and lovely.

Will Win: Animated Feature

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #23 out of 63

Brave

1 Nomination

• Animated Feature

Director: Mark Andrews & Brenda Chapman

Cast: Kelly Macdonald, Emma Thompson, Billy Connolly, Julie Walters, Robbie Coltrane, Craig Ferguson, Kevin McKidd,

I liked this movie better when it was called Brother Bear. She turns into a bear?? Really? I was into this movie for a while. Little girl is into shooting a bow and hates sewing. Yes! Eschewing gender norms! But then the movie winds up being about how the girl needs to learn to be more like her mom – patient and generous and quiet. So I was rather impatient with Brave. The animation of her hair is extraordinary: I defy you not to love it. And her little brothers (tiny menaces in triplicate) are a laugh riot. The acting is great across the board (probably the best of any animated picture this year)... but the film left something to be desired. And it really is just a girl version of Brother Bear.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: Animated Feature

My Rating: #30 out of 63

Frankenweenie

Tim Burton's Frankenweenie was so cute! I almost always like Burton's animated films much more than I like his live-action business, and Frankenweenie is charming. Burton's movie is a tribute to old-school science-fiction-horror movies, and already in its first few moments it pays tribute to Ishirō Honda's 1950s classic Rodan.

Rodan!

In Burton's version, Rodan is defeated (chewed, really) by the wiener dog of Victor Frankenstein (a middle-schooler in a town called New Holland). The plot of Frankenweenie is put into motion by two important events: the arrival in the town of a new science teacher (Mr. Rzykruski, played by Martin Landau) and the death of Victor's beloved pooch because he foolishly runs out in front of a car during a little league baseball game.

Victor, as you can imagine, brings little Sparky (haha) back to life in a miniature version of Mary Shelley's Gothic novel. When his classmates (who are the weirdest kids you've ever seen) find out about this, they become very jealous and all want in on the action. Mayhem ensues as each attempts to bring something back to life. Little Toshiaki tries Victor's technology on his beloved dead turtle Shelley (this movie is charming) and inadvertently produces a Godzilla-like monster (more Ishirō Honda) who storms the town and terrorizes the residents of New Holland.

Victor and Sparky, of course, come to the rescue, and many lessons are learned at the end. Most importantly Victor's dad learns that "sometimes, adults don't know what they're talking about."

Burton's movie is about science and responsibility and getting kids to fall in love with scientific experimentation and with learning itself. It's a film about loyalty and honesty and what it means to be a good friend. The parts where Frankenweenie directly addressed the villagers' fear of science and their total ignorance in the face of reality, were probably my favorite bits. This is a movie that believes in science and is excited about research questions!

Frankenweenie has a great cast – Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short, and Winona Ryder – a lovely Danny Elfman score, and is filled with tongue-in-cheek references to both classic horror cinema and old-school Tim Burton movies. Even if you aren't up on your classic horror (and I by no means am), you'll get many of these little nods, but either way, Frankenweenie has plenty of grotesque cuteness to keep you happy all the same.