Oscar Nominees 2013: Part 8 of 13

Wreck-it Ralph

1 Nomination

• Animated Feature

Director: Rich Moore

Cast: John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Jane Lynch, Jack McBrayer, Alan Tudyk, Ed O'Neill, Dennis Haysbert

Everyone seems to love Wreck-it Ralph except for me. What's happening? It's odd to me that this film is even nominated in this category when the far superior and much funnier Rise of the Guardians was left off the Animated Feature list this year. Ralph is the story of a video-game bad-guy who wants to be friends with all of the heroes of the video game after work-hours. Trouble ensues. He befriends a young glitch in a different video game and from there the plot becomes your standard dumb-older-man-meets-young-spunky-girl narrative where the guy learns all sorts of things (mostly "how to open his heart") from the young girl. The young girl herself, incidentally – and this is always how it goes – doesn't need to learn anything, but her pure, innocent, childlike affection manages to work its way past his crusty exterior. Zzzzz. This was all done so much better in 2001 in 2D (and this year in 3D) by a film called Monsters, Inc. In any case, Wreck-it Ralph feels like a re-tread to me. Retro video-game references spice it up a little bit, and Beard Papa has a cameo, but mostly I was bored.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: Animated Feature

My Rating: #53 out of 63

ParaNorman

1 Nomination

• Best Original Screenplay

Director: Chris Butler & Sam Fell

Cast: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Tucker Albrizzi, Anna Kendrick, Casey Affleck, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Leslie Mann, Elaine Stritch, Jeff Garlin, Tempestt Bledsoe, John Goodman

ParaNorman is really similar to Tim Burton's Frankenweenie. Both titles feature puns. Both films are about kids fighting Halloween monsters. Both are about kids who are "different" from the rest of the kids around them. ParaNorman was released in August and Frankenweenie had an October release, but Burton's film appears to be the favorite among voters. Frank(enweenie)ly I preferred this zombie comedy by Chris Butler and Sam Fell, though both films are pretty great. ParaNorman is about a young man who sees ghosts. He is a weird kid – and is subject to all sorts of bullying at school and at home – because he talks to the dead people in his life, communicates with dead dogs, and gets accosted by his strange, shifty, snaggle-toothed uncle. Then zombies attack the town and Norman has to come to the rescue to communicate with the undead and figure out how to solve his town's zombie problem. It isn't just that the weird, bullied kid turns out to be the town's savior (that plot has developed into a familiar trope) but that he has visions, which we get to see, and that friendship and his relationship with his sister and his bully are more important in ParaNorman than any rigorously gendered love plot. The heterosexual love plot is avoided completely in the movie, and the entire thing is inventive and charming, perhaps even... paradorable. (Forgive me.)

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #16 out of 63

The Pirates! Band of Misfits

1 Nomination

• Animated Feature

Director: Peter Lord

Cast: Hugh Grant, Martin Freeman, David Tennant, Imelda Staunton, Salma Hayek, Jeremy Piven, Anton Yelchin, Brendan Gleeson

In Britain this movie was called The Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists!, a title I much prefer to The Pirates! Band of Misfits, but I don't suppose that matters much. Pirates! is very funny – in the vein of Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-rabbit. Plus the side characters are Charles Darwin and Queen Victoria. There are lots of laughs to be had using those two as antagonists to a pirate captain. Still, there are odd things about this movie. For example: Why is there so much computer animation in a stop-motion picture? The two styles jar when placed next to one another. And why is the Pirate Captain never given a name other than the Pirate Captain? Surely a funny name could have been fabricated. Honestly, though, I think this film is probably worth your time. It's rather delightful even if it looks odd.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #33 out of 63

Oscar Nominees 2013: Part 7 of 13

Mirror Mirror

1 Nomination

• Costume Design: Eiko Ishioka (Dracula)

Director: Tarsem Singh

Cast: Julia Roberts, Armie Hammer, Lily Collins, Nathan Lane, Martin Klebba, Jordan Prentice, Danny Woodburn, Joe Gnoffo, Mark Povinelli, Sebastian Saraceno, Ronald Lee Clark

This movie claims to be the Snow White story from the perspective of the wicked queen (except that there is nothing dark or spooky about Mirror Mirror at any point in its running time. Instead it's a tongue-in-cheek, totally absurd, candy-coated version of Snow White. But unlike Snow White and the Huntsman, which is all about the wicked queen, Mirror Mirror isn't even really about the wicked queen. Instead it's about the handsome prince that's coming to save Snow White from the wicked queen. The handsome prince is Armie Hammer, so that's nice to look at, of course, and then there are the costumes – the reason I saw this movie on a giant screen instead of waiting for DVD. The costumes are by Eiko Ishioka, the legendary designer. And these costumes are out of this world. There is a dance/ball sequence where everyone wears a different animal headpiece, for heaven's sake. It is opulent. Tarsem, on the other hand, needs to get his act together and direct a good movie toute suite.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #60 out of 63

Frankenweenie

1 Nomination

• Animated Feature

Director: Tim Burton

Cast: Charlie Tahan, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Sheen, Martin Landau, Winona Ryder, James Hiroyuki Liao

I really liked this little movie. (These days I tend to like Tim Burton's animated movies much more than I like his live-action movies.) Frankenweenie is disturbed, but also charming and cute. In a lot of ways it is a delightful tribute to Ishirō Honda and James Whale, but also references (in an interesting, charming way) Burton's own oeuvre – with Winona Ryder and Martin Landau serving as two of the voices. It's a retelling of Mary Shelley's Gothic novel, but with children and dead pets and a strong atheist sensibility. I was a fan. I am expecting this picture to win the Oscar at the moment, although Wreck-it Ralph just recently picked up the Annie for Best Animated Feature. Burton's movie is so much better than Wreck-it Ralph that it's not even worth comparing, but let me just say again how imaginative this movie is – an adaptation of a Gothic novel on a schoolyard... with a puppy. It's grotesque and lovely.

Will Win: Animated Feature

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #23 out of 63

Brave

1 Nomination

• Animated Feature

Director: Mark Andrews & Brenda Chapman

Cast: Kelly Macdonald, Emma Thompson, Billy Connolly, Julie Walters, Robbie Coltrane, Craig Ferguson, Kevin McKidd,

I liked this movie better when it was called Brother Bear. She turns into a bear?? Really? I was into this movie for a while. Little girl is into shooting a bow and hates sewing. Yes! Eschewing gender norms! But then the movie winds up being about how the girl needs to learn to be more like her mom – patient and generous and quiet. So I was rather impatient with Brave. The animation of her hair is extraordinary: I defy you not to love it. And her little brothers (tiny menaces in triplicate) are a laugh riot. The acting is great across the board (probably the best of any animated picture this year)... but the film left something to be desired. And it really is just a girl version of Brother Bear.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: Animated Feature

My Rating: #30 out of 63

Frankenweenie

Tim Burton's Frankenweenie was so cute! I almost always like Burton's animated films much more than I like his live-action business, and Frankenweenie is charming. Burton's movie is a tribute to old-school science-fiction-horror movies, and already in its first few moments it pays tribute to Ishirō Honda's 1950s classic Rodan.

Rodan!

In Burton's version, Rodan is defeated (chewed, really) by the wiener dog of Victor Frankenstein (a middle-schooler in a town called New Holland). The plot of Frankenweenie is put into motion by two important events: the arrival in the town of a new science teacher (Mr. Rzykruski, played by Martin Landau) and the death of Victor's beloved pooch because he foolishly runs out in front of a car during a little league baseball game.

Victor, as you can imagine, brings little Sparky (haha) back to life in a miniature version of Mary Shelley's Gothic novel. When his classmates (who are the weirdest kids you've ever seen) find out about this, they become very jealous and all want in on the action. Mayhem ensues as each attempts to bring something back to life. Little Toshiaki tries Victor's technology on his beloved dead turtle Shelley (this movie is charming) and inadvertently produces a Godzilla-like monster (more Ishirō Honda) who storms the town and terrorizes the residents of New Holland.

Victor and Sparky, of course, come to the rescue, and many lessons are learned at the end. Most importantly Victor's dad learns that "sometimes, adults don't know what they're talking about."

Burton's movie is about science and responsibility and getting kids to fall in love with scientific experimentation and with learning itself. It's a film about loyalty and honesty and what it means to be a good friend. The parts where Frankenweenie directly addressed the villagers' fear of science and their total ignorance in the face of reality, were probably my favorite bits. This is a movie that believes in science and is excited about research questions!

Frankenweenie has a great cast – Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short, and Winona Ryder – a lovely Danny Elfman score, and is filled with tongue-in-cheek references to both classic horror cinema and old-school Tim Burton movies. Even if you aren't up on your classic horror (and I by no means am), you'll get many of these little nods, but either way, Frankenweenie has plenty of grotesque cuteness to keep you happy all the same.

The Miserable Ones

This is not a review of Les Misérables; it is actually a famous excerpt from Lee Edelman's No Future. Still, because it is the first thing I think of when I think of Les Misérables, and because it is such a famous piece from queer theory, I will ask it to express at least a little of how I felt about Tom Hooper's total mess of a film:

Fuck the social order and the Child in whose name we're collectively terrorized; fuck Annie; fuck the waif from Les Mis; fuck the poor, innocent kid on the Net; fuck Laws both with capital ls and with small; fuck the whole network of Symbolic relations and the future that serves as its prop.

And now, five things I actually liked about Les Mis:

1. Aaron Tveit! Finally someone who can sing is in the movie!
2. Little Daniel Huttlestone who plays Gavroche.
3. Eddie Redmayne and Amanda Seyfried, both in good voice and both rather charming.
4. Because there are two people in the sequences with Thénardier and his wife, Tom Hooper can't shoot their scenes in the extreme-close-up style he uses in all of the other sequences. So: thanks, Thénardiers.
5. Russell Crowe, not for his voice (god help us), but because he is an excellent actor, and he understands that acting oughtn't to look like it is hard work.

I have complained before about the state of movie musicals since Chicago, so I won't go over all of that again. Suffice to say, that I think that what movie musicals need is singers, and until producers start feeling comfortable casting singers in movie musicals, we will continue to be forced to watch movies like Les Misérables, Sweeney Todd, and Nine.

The Evil Queen

My friend Julie and I chart our personal journey with Snow White and the Huntsman, which we both expected to be bad, but which I rather liked.

Julie: I have candles lit, and my popcorn and beer. I am ready.
Aaron: I'm a litle sad it's PG-13. I love an R movie.
Julie: Well, it has Kristen Stewart. She's not old enough for R-rated films.
Aaron: Truth.
Julie: Just R-rated personal lives (did you hear how she had that affair with that director? Trollop)
Aaron: Don't hate. Slut power.

Julie: This is Beauty and the Beast. They're already stealing shit! That red rose.
Aaron: I think they're stealing from Into the Woods.
Julie: I hope they start singing.

Aaron: This shot stolen from Gladiator. Oh this art direction is pretty.
Julie: Not as pretty as Anonymous.
Aaron: Nonsense.
Julie: Um, that looks like Anonymous. That snow.
Aaron: That Snow! Hahaha. The snow was the best thing about Anonymous. At least this looks like it was shot on location.

Julie: And at Medieval Times.
Aaron: I already like the look of this, though. Even if it does look like Medieval Times. Ooo. This army is spooky. They just STOOD there! They're made of glass!!
Julie: Oooooo! This is not the snow white I know! How festive.
Aaron: I like it. Speaking of sluts. This king!
Julie: Haha.
Aaron: Look at her boobs!
Julie: They are constricted. Let them have some air.
Aaron: This child actor is adorbs! I like her smile.
Julie: She won't last long though. K-slut is coming.
Aaron: $10 says Kristen Stewart never smiles once.
Julie: Oh man. I would lose that bet. Not fair. I love that Charlize wears her crown to bed. During sex.
Aaron: "Men use women". I love it. This is so feminist!
Julie: Oh, it is because she is killing him. Niiiiice. This is like Teeth! Without the killer vagina.
Aaron: OH MY GOD. I love this.
Julie: Oh, that score.
Aaron: This is so campy. She just wears a crown the whole time.
Julie: I would too. Let's be honest.
Aaron: This brother is a new addition to the myth. Who is this Rutger Hauer-like character?
Julie: Well, does the queen actually kill the king in the tale? I thought he just died.  
Aaron: I think so. yeah.
Julie: Riot.
Aaron: When kings die there's always a riot.
Julie: Really? I'm googling that shit. She marries a widowed king who has a daughter called Snow White from his first wife. The Queen envies Snow White's beauty, and so tries to have her killed, setting the story in motion. That's it. That's all Wikipedia will tell me.
Aaron: I love how they managed to put the mirror on the wall just in time for her to say "Mirror, mirror on the wall". 
Julie: Oooo, the terminator! That liquid shit is so James Cameron.
Aaron: So true.
Julie: K-Steewwwwwwwww. Isn't this Cinderella now?
Aaron: My skin would be as white as snow if I never saw fuckin daylight, too.
Julie: What is she doing in those cinders?
Aaron: Girlfriend is cold.
Julie: Girl needs to go to the jersey shore.
Aaron: The Lord's Prayer?
Julie: Uh oh. God stuff.
Aaron: Hahaha
Julie: As in life, her hair goes unwashed.
Aaron: IS SHE EATING THE HEART OF A BIRD? I LOVE HER.
Julie: I HOPE SO. ICE QUEEN. She is fun.
Aaron: The brother's Dorothy Hammill do is not cute.
Julie: NUDITY. I don't know what you're talking about. Hot.
Aaron: In ancient Rome, the empress Poppaea used to bathe in mik.
Julie: She wears her crown in the bath, too! What the fuck is happening?
Aaron: I do not care. It is just too fabulous.
Julie: And what are those claws? I want.
Aaron: That dress is amazing. And these claws are fantastic.
Julie: OOOOOOO. Girl got stabbed! Her crown could impale someone. Did she just eat his heart by like osmosis or something?
Aaron: I can't tell. She did some chicanery, though.
Julie: WHAT IS HAPPENING
Aaron: I think we're just getting portraits of how awful she is.
Julie: This dude is my favorite. Creepy albino.
Aaron: Dear heavens let there be some incest.
Julie: Yes, please! A-Jolie style. Lesbianism?
Aaron: It's good for what ails you.
Julie: How is she doing all this? Where did these powers come from? Did I miss something?
Aaron: Wait. Why didn't she kill the boy that way?
Julie: Because she wanted to air-eat his heart?
Aaron: You didn't miss anything. She's, like, super-old or something, but she has magic powers.
Julie: Humph.
Aaron: And only she can see the Terminator?
Julie: It looked like big bro could... right? Or does he just think sis is cray cray?
Aaron: I think he is jells.
Julie: Totes jeals.

Aaron: I think Kristen Stewart might be sort of... smiling.
Julie: Haha. Ewwwwwwww creepy touching. Well done, K-Stew. Badass.
Aaron: I wonder how come the brother doesn't have any magic powers..
Julie: Because he is an albino.

Aaron: This cameraman isn't quite sure how to shoot a running scene, I feel.
Julie: whoa! sewer slide!
Aaron: I like the landscape shots though.
Julie: Yeah, the cinematography leaves a little to be desired at times. No oscar for you... Greig Fraser.
Aaron: Art direction and costumes totes deserve nominations, though, right?
Julie: Art direction is rad.
Aaron: Random white horse.
Julie: I hope he is a unicorn.
Aaron: Why isn't he? I mean, they can make up whatever they want, right? Give me unicorns and dragons.
Julie: I'm still up in the air about costumes. K-Stew needs some new ones. Those sleeves do not work for me. Oooo, dragons! Yes, please.
Aaron: But the Queen's costumes! They are already more interesting than the three costumes the Queen wore in Mirror Mirror.
Julie: I know! Hers are good. But Medieval Times and K-stew need help.You know I did not see that shit.
Aaron: The costumes were by Eiko Ishioka. That's why I went.
Julie: Oh, that is right. So sad she ended on that movie. Julia Roberts. Oy.

Julie: I hope the trees start attacking her à la Wizard of Oz.
Aaron: EW. This is so good.
Julie: They look like they might.
Aaron: I love how imaginative this whole thing is. This is disgusting!! I am loving it. It's like she's hallucinating.
Julie: Are we in Harry Potter now?
Aaron: I. LOVE. THIS.
Julie: You. Are. Drunk.

Aaron: This costume is fabulous, too!
Julie: Ooo, I like that neck-crown thing. That outfit looks like it was in Wonderland. Yeah, that's right: I just referenced Frank Wildhorn. She is CRAY. And violent! look at those eyes! He loves her. It's kind of sweet.
Aaron: Have I not given you all? she said. Incest. Clearly. That's what that means.
Julie: Hellooooo, sailor. Or huntsman, I guess. This should be called The Evil Queen. I don't know why they think we care about those two.
Aaron: I only care about the Queen and how fabulous she is.
Julie: Is he Irish? Why is he the only one with an accent? Wait, does he have an accent? What is going on with his voice?
Aaron: He does have one.
Julie: (Am I drunk?)
Aaron: But Charlize has an accent too. She is vaguely British or something.
Julie: By the way, where are we? Did they say? I mean, we should be in Germany, but that's clearly not happening.
Aaron: Things look vaguely medieval. Which could be anywhere, right?
Julie: Yes... but Snow White is a German fairy tale. K-Stew should have an accent! Wouldn't that be festive?
Aaron: Has she said anything yet?
Julie: Ha. Just a few lines. To albino. When he tried to rape her. Sort of. I need more beer.
Aaron: This movie is not nearly as bad as Anonymous. I kind of like it. She does have an accent.
Julie: She is annoying.
Aaron: She's just sort of helpless so far.
Julie: You're right. This is not nearly as bad as Anonymous. Which means it's not as fun.
 
Julie: EWWWWW
Aaron: This is so gross!! I am into it.
Julie: Yet you don't watch horror movies. I don't get it. Oh, she is British. But she is not "valuable". That is a lie.
Aaron: She is totally doing an accent. It is no good.
Julie: Truth. She isn't very attractive either.
Aaron: I mean, what makes this girl so damn special? That's what I don't get. Kristen Stewart aside.
Julie: Seriously. Just because she was born a Princess?
Aaron: Oh yeah. That's what it is. Nobility.
Julie: Glad I could clear that up.
Aaron: Ah the value of the rich. This demands a materialist analysis.

Julie: Snakes in a forest! Where is Sam J when you need him? I'm going to have some gummy worms now.

Aaron: This guy is a cutie!
Julie: Who?
Aaron: The son of the Duke who was her boyfriend when they were kids.
Julie: Oooo. And here I thought she would get with the Huntsman. But I guess he wants his dead wife, eh?
Aaron: Are you Canadian?
Julie: For tonight.
Aaron: That's a new accent for this film.
Julie: HAHA. I'm just trying to keep it diverse. Oh, they're gettin' it on later.
Aaron: She has four expressions.
Julie: Oh, Aaron. You're way too generous. She has one. Dour and dour.

Julie: Nice fur!
Aaron: I love that the queen has so many different crowns, too.

Aaron: Such effects.
Julie: Oooooh, trolls! Visual effects oscar??
Aaron: This director loves Guillermo Del Toro. Right? I mean, this film is basically a GDT homage.
Julie: This visual effects guy has done Tim Burton and Pirates of the Caribbean. And Clash of the Titans. Haha.
Aaron: She has, like, feelings or something. She just tamed the wild troll. By looking at it.
Julie: The troll is kind of cute. He needs a hug.
Aaron: Oh it's like how the birds love Snow White in Disney's movie.

I'm WISHING

For the ONE I love.

To FIND me.

TODAY.

Julie: HAHA. Who is this bitch?
Aaron: New character. Another woman. This film is so feminist. I love it.
Julie: Just because women are the main characters does not make it feminist, A-ron.
Aaron: Yes it does. Most Hollywood films have 0 women. Or one woman.
Julie: K-Stew is depending on a man right now.
Aaron: No. She is finding her own power.
Julie: Yeah, ok.

Julie: How is she wearing eyeshadow? She was in prison for years and just ran through a forest!
Aaron: She is magically beautiful and white.
Julie: That girl in prison. What was the point of her? She was like that sickly girl in Jane Eyre. Who loved god.
Aaron: She gave her youth to Charlize.
Julie: She did? How silly of her.
Aaron: Haha.

Julie: Nudity!
Aaron: Naked Charlize. Oo! Girl is a mess.
Julie: Girl needs a cheeseburger. Those ribs. Oy. She is a vampire! Drinkin' the blood.
Aaron: Drinking blood is always related to eternal youth. Or anthropophagia in general.
Julie: Anthro what?
Aaron: Cannibalism keeps you young!

Aaron: We should never have beeeeeen there. Her accent! The best. But Chris Hemsworth is Scottish. Dwarves! About time.
Julie: Scottish! yes. I am bad with accents. That dude has orange hair.
Aaron: Oh they're not really dwarves. They didn't hire dwarves!? It's all CG.
Julie: Is Julie Taymor involved? What is with that bird mask?
Aaron: Eyes Wide Shut?
Julie: Hahahaha. Where is Tom then? He is kind of a dwarf.
Aaron: Who? Oh. Tom Cruise. I forget about him sometimes.

Aaron: Finally a person of color! The first one.
Julie: Are you keeping count? Are you sure one of those medieval knights wasn't Latino or something?
Aaron: Hahaha. The movie is all about how white her skin is. I always keep count about how many people of color I see. Don't you?

Julie: Sanctuaaaaaary! Like Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Aaron: God help the outcasts.
Julie: She kind of smiled again. Ha. Indeed. God help them.
Aaron: Notice now that we are in fairyland, she ain't sayin' the Lord's prayer.
Julie: She gave up her faith so easily.
Aaron: This music is totes a Jim Cameron thing, too.
Julie: Titanic.
Aaron: Right? It is exactly the same.
Julie: Love. So. Much. And like Kate Winslet, she needs to wash her hair. I'm sorry, I just can't look at that grease for much longer.
Aaron: I mean, miss thing was imprisoned.
Julie: I do not give a shit. She is in the forest by some stream. Hop to it.
Aaron: Ooo true. I think that is the first thing I would do. Run some soap through my filthy mane.
Julie: Right? I hate feeling dirty. But K-stew likes it.

Julie: Gollum!
Aaron: Ooo Gollum! I like that all these beasts are around. What is going on??
Julie: Is she making friends with the forest?
Aaron: I don't understand. I think we are supposed to know, but I don't quite get it.
Julie: Gollum 1 and 2! Yes, those animals love her. It'd be better if they sang though.
Aaron: Please tell me GDT is the voice of this deer.
Julie: HAHA
Aaron: Ew.
Julie: Ewww, wash those fingernails
Aaron: So nasty. She has magic powers. She is the ONE. Like Harry Potter.
Julie: According to whom? The albino deer? Why are there so many albinos in this film?
Aaron: This is traumatic!
Julie: Oh, the gollums are faeries. I just realized.
Aaron: They couldn't have saved the fucking stag?
Julie: No. Sacrifice.
Aaron: Like Aslan.
Julie: They are trying to kill the one man of color! This film is racist.
Aaron: This film has been racist.
Julie: Well yes, but now it is obvious.
Aaron: I miss the evil queen.
Julie: me too. I hope she is shopping.
Aaron: Another fabulous outfit.
Julie: She is feeling him dying.
Aaron: That brother of hers must've been like part of her or something. I love Charlize Theron in this.
Julie: she is getting old!
Aaron: Poor thing.
Julie: Ooooo. I'll miss albino brother.
Aaron: I will not.
Julie: I don't know how you can't miss that wig.

Aaron: Singing dwarves. It's a preview of The Hobbit.
Julie: Hi-ho, hi-ho...
Aaron: HAHA.
Julie: This is very Lord of the Rings, you are correct.

Aaron: The look of this film is constantly changing. It is a relief. A smile?
Julie: These two are quite possibly the most boring people alive. I don't understand how anyone has hired her. She has no talent whatsoever. Her range is non-existent. Hopefully he will die.
Aaron: He is cute. Hush your mouth.
Julie: He needs to shave.
Aaron: Not to get into my bed he doesn't.
Julie: Well, into mine, he does.
Aaron: She needs to liven up. And wash her hands.

Aaron: IT'S NOT HIM. This is great.
Julie: Yesssssssssss. That fucker. He just got more interesting.
Aaron: It's her in disguise.
Julie: Wake up, huntsman!!
Aaron: I want the Queen to win.
Julie: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Creeptastic!
Aaron: THAT DRESS.
Julie: (He remains boring.) Ooooo love the bird cape! Boring boyfriend is back. Time to put her ass in a glass coffin.
Aaron: Haha. Huntsman has lots of feelings
Julie: He is the only one.

Aaron: OH MY GOD. These birds.
Julie: Ewwwwwwwwwwww
Aaron: This is so grotesque. I fucking love it.
Julie: That sludge is cool. She is a hot mess.
Aaron: Everything related to this queen is cool. The hottest. Of messes.
Julie: Sad boyfriend.
Aaron: More fur. They love fur.
Julie: Fur instead of glass? I do not approve
Aaron: Neither does PETA.
Julie: Haha.
Aaron: She has the same expression as when she was alive. Who can tell the difference?
Julie: Why is he drunk and crying? Why does he care so much? This is his big monologue. His big moment!
Aaron: He is lovely. I love how he sort of is slurring too. Because he is drunk. He is good. I like him: Thor.
Julie: I KNEW HE HAD A THING FOR HER. Poor dude.
Aaron: Sherlock fuckin' Holmes. The movie is called Snow White and the Huntsman.
Julie: Yeah, but he coulda been a father figure to her. It didn't have to go there, A-ron. She has a boyfriend after all. Why is she alive? How did that even happen? I am missing everything.
Aaron: True Love's Kiss. Or something?
Julie: I thought this wasn't Disney? Zombie K-Stew is trying to inspire the troops!
Aaron: "I'd rather die today than live another day of this death." What the hell is she talking about? Ooooooh. It's Henry V.
Julie: Ha. I do not know.

Julie: She is young again!
Aaron: Another new crown. I love Charlize Theron in this.
Julie: I love her in everything. Even that Young Adult mess.
Aaron: She is so good in that!

Aaron: Uh oh. Dwarves used for comic relief. Just the same as every other Snow White movie. Ugh.
Julie: You knew it had to  happen.
Aaron: I hate that shit. Ableist nonsense: They're so funny! Their bodies are different from ours.
Julie: I mean, this movie is racist. Did you really think it would have a politically correct view of dwarves?
Aaron: Touché.
Julie: If this movie had more plot to go with all these effects, it wouldn't be half bad.
Aaron: I think it's pretty good as is, really. Sometimes effects are enough for me.
Julie: No, my eyes start to glaze over. That's why I can't watch all those fast/furious movies. Too many action sequences just bore me.
Aaron: But these effects are like magical and shit. I am into that. Like black oil pouring onto people. That's cool. If I were this queen right about now, I'd be like "You're coming back to me?" She's been looking for her the whole movie. And now K-Stew just runs upstairs like "Sorry I stayed out past curfew!"
Julie: She is just asking for it

Aaron: Badass!
Julie: This is pretty cool
Aaron: YES
Julie: Ooo that father reference made her angry. As though we care about the father who was in the movie for all of 5 seconds.
Aaron: So true.
Julie: I like that metallic shrug she's rockin'
Aaron: THIS IS SO COOL.

Aaron: Kristen Stewart is so boring. She says "you can't have my heart" without moving her mouth.
Julie: Because I don't have one! Too much Botox. You know how those Hollywood kids are, A-ron.
Aaron: She's like 22. She's younger than we are.
Julie: Whatever, she started that shit in the womb
Aaron: She looks like she's had 50 years of misery, though.
Julie: Hahahaha Ooo, they put some blush on her! not so pale.
Aaron: Art direction's looking sort of Flemish now.
Julie: It's like the EPCOT of art direction

Julie: That dress is Ug. Ly.
Aaron: Yeah it is. Don't they know their previous queen was way more fabulous?
Julie: WHO IS SHE GOING TO CHOOSE?
Aaron: I am on tinterhooks.
Julie: She smiled again!
Aaron: She vaguely smiled again.
Julie: But they aren't going to tell us!! CLIFFHANGER.
Aaron: It's like The Hunger Games.
Julie: That was dumb. As is this music.
Aaron: I thought it was totally cool. The plot was non existent. And Kristen Stewart is a black hole of feelings. Having her at the center of a movie is like the kiss of death.
Julie: There weren't enough effects to make up for the lack in plot or in acting.
Aaron: Charlize was AMAZING. She was the CAMPIEST.
Julie: Charlize was super-fun. This was my first K-Stew experience, and I think it must be my last. She is god-awful.
Aaron: It won't be.
Julie: Yes, it will. Unless she is in a film that is Oscar-nominated, I can avoid her.
Aaron: She will be.
Julie: Don't even kid about something like that.

Aaron: Good night.
Julie: Night! Sleep well. Dream of K-Stew's greasy hair.

Anonymous.

So tonight my friend Julie and I watched Anonymous together. She's in New York and I'm in Florida, but we synchronized our watches so that we could text-message each other through the movie and make the whole thing more bearable. And, I have to say, it worked.

I'm not sure how much of this - if any of it - is funny, but we had a good time. A kind of double live-blog of Roland Emmerich's latest film:

Aaron: The ultimate expressions of humanity in the English language?
Julie: Our shakespeare. Our.
Aaron: This opening is stolen from Branagh's Henry V.
Julie: This art direction is stolen from Man in the Iron Mask circa 1998.
Aaron: Hahahahaha.
Julie: Well, naturally. Shakespeare stole everything, so that is fitting.
Julie: If I was in the audience, I'd be asking for my money back.
Aaron: Miss Jacobi is acting!
Julie: With a capital A.

Aaron: I suppose this is how The Globe burned down...
Aaron: Yep.
Julie: Ahahahahahahahaha.

Julie: We're only 7 minutes in and it already doesn't make sense.
Aaron: And it's jumped times twice.
Julie: I'm not sure if the drinking will help or hinder us.
Aaron: Hinder. Definitely.
Julie: Oh well. Absolutely necessary.

Julie: Is his hair crimped?
Aaron: Haha. I hope so.
Aaron: I love this guy's hair.
Julie: He could be in an 80s hair-band.

Aaron: Everything is brown in this film.
Julie: "Earth tones," A-ron. Earth tones.
Aaron: Sepia, methinks.
Aaron: Oh thank Jesus, some color.
Julie: Haha.


Aaron: Vanessa!!!! Love her.
Julie: Is she a butterfly?
Aaron: A walking Christmas Tree, I believe one historian called her.
Julie: Did men wear blue eyeshadow back in the day?
Aaron: And today.
Julie: True.
Julie: More time changes!
Aaron: What the hell?
Julie: When are we??
Aaron: The 1570s???
Julie: Is this baby Willy?
Aaron: Baby Edward De Vere, naturally.
Julie: Shit. I'm already drunk.
Aaron: Back to 1602?
Aaron: Actually I can't tell when this is supposed to be.
Julie: I have no idea either

Aaron: Cobblers are artists. How dare they! Ask Jimmy Choo.
Julie: HAHAHA!

Aaron: But why does he look so bored?
Julie: Rhys? Because he IS boring?
Aaron: These outdoor shots are terribly fake-looking.
Julie: Yeah, it's pretty terrible
Aaron: I need more rum. What is this scene of villainy in one-dimension.
Aaron: Time shift. Yet again!
Julie: No beauty! No art! Tyrant!
Aaron: Hahaha.
Aaron: This ugly little twerp! The film hates him.

Aaron: This Shakespeare actor is hot.
Aaron: I'm into it.
Julie: That's the rum talking

Aaron: This makeup is good! I think that's David Thewlis under all that old age.
Julie: Again, the rum.
Aaron: Hahaha.
Julie: Do I know him?
Julie: (You're right. IMDb)
Aaron: Lupin.

Aaron: "My poems are my soul"?
Aaron: Such clichés.
Julie: I've stopped listening. Just looking at the pretty boys. Time for more beer.
Aaron: Mozart's Requiem during the wedding?
Aaron: Stolen from Shekhar Kapur's Elizabeth. This movie is all copies of other things.
Julie: Did you expect something else?
Aaron: I expected it to be a little more subtle. But I am a fool. It's Roland Emmerich.
Julie: I mean, the screenwriter wrote Legend of the Guardians. That owl movie.
Aaron: Hahaha.

Aaron: The Shakespearean acting is so bad!
Julie: I like the white sparkly outfit though.
Aaron: Ooo me too. Good call.
Aaron: More fake exterior shots!
Julie: His hair is scaring me.
Aaron: I'm having a feeling. Henry V is good!
Julie: Feelings! Those are not allowed here.
Aaron: i.e. rum.
Julie: HAHA

Aaron: Vidal Sassoon is back.
Julie: Hahahahahahahahahaha
Julie: That crimped hair! It kills me. Actually, it's like tiny spiral curls. I'm so intrigued.
Julie: Uh oh. Rhys is confused/angry?
Aaron: I love it.
Aaron: This is so fucking bad.
Julie: Ooooo angry.
Aaron: "Voice you have no voice."
Aaron: Ben Jonson? Seriously? He's a wonderful writer.

Julie: What is that top?
Aaron: Chanel.
Julie: Tim Burton?
Aaron: Yes. That's perfect. Burton.
Julie: "You're... Writing again!"
Aaron: You're listening again! Haha.
Aaron: "The voices I can't stop them!"
Julie: The voices! They're speaking to him!

Julie: Don't you wish Spielberg's goose would come out right about now? I need some comic relief.
Aaron: It was a duck.
Julie: Goose.

Aaron: Who's this chick?
Julie: Hahaha. I have no idea.
Aaron: Fake exterior shot #465
Julie: Haha. Glad you're keeping count for us.

Julie: Why are we arresting them again?
Aaron: They had sex, I think.

Aaron: Little boy is adorbs.
Julie: He has some nicely wind-swept hair.
Aaron: Indeed.
Aaron: This is way more confusing than Tinker Tailor.
Julie: Yes, but only because it's unintentional. This should not be a difficult story to follow. What was Roland smoking?
Aaron: These exteriors kill me.

Aaron: Who is Vidal Sassoon?
Julie: Hahahahahaha
Aaron: Is that his kid? Or is the other one his kid?
Aaron: Or both?
Julie: I don't know, but Rhys seems to know him
Aaron: They're both his sons, I think.
Julie: Words. Words.
Julie: Bastards? Who is he married to?
Aaron: The sister of the twerp who is now advising QEI.
Julie: OMG. So confused.

Julie: What. Is. She. wearing.
Julie: Have we been in the Rose yet? Or does Roland think the only theater in London was the Globe.

Julie: Ooo that art direction.
Aaron: Fucking fake exteriors.
Aaron: Where's John Fletcher?
Julie: Who?
Aaron: Who!?!?!
Julie: I was being ironic. Calm the fuck down, A-ron. Hahaha.
Aaron: Haha.

Aaron: Love Will's costume!
Aaron: Well QEI's costume is insanely weird.
Julie: Why are we rioting?
Julie: What the hell is going on?
Aaron: Words, Julie. Words.
Julie: Ha.
Aaron: This is such nonsense.
Julie: OMG these deaths are amazing. Play the melodrama, girl!

Julie: That head piece!
Aaron: I liked it.
Julie: Of course you did.
Aaron: I love a headpiece.
Aaron: She's like a 17th century Cher.
Julie: LOL
Julie: Is this exposition?
Aaron: No: act three monologues.
Julie: Emote!
Aaron: Why is he crying?
Aaron: The hunchback, I mean.
Julie: That was his moment! Let him have it!

Julie: Snow!
Julie: Nice fur.
Aaron: The first pretty exterior in the film.
Aaron: And then we're back to fake ones. That lake!
Julie: Truth.
Aaron: Thank god that wife of his explained this plot sequence because I was confused.

Julie: Those are some intense sleeves.
Aaron: They're like a duvet!

Julie: How is that old man still alive?
Aaron: Yeah. Hello continuity.
Aaron: He died!

Julie: Oh dear. That was dramatic.
Aaron: That was good. I liked that bit of writing.
Julie: That is the rum.
Aaron: Is Derek Jacobi gonna come back, too?
Julie: I hope so. Him and Mark Rylance. They'll do an epilogue.
Aaron: Tenors are singing. Should I be having a feeling?
Julie: Of disgust?
Aaron: They made King James I into a big old queen. (At least that's historically accurate)
Julie: Obvi Roland likes his queens.
Julie: Is that Mark?
Aaron: Yes!
Julie: In the white costume we like.
Julie: Yay!
Aaron: Yay!

2011's Nominees: Part 4 of 12

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT

4 Nominations:

  · Best Picture

  · Best Original Screenplay: Lisa Cholodenko, Stuart Blumberg

  · Best Actress: Annette Bening (The Grifters, American Beauty, Being Julia)

  · Best Supporting Actor: Mark Ruffalo

Director: Cholodenko
Cast: Bening, Julianne Moore, Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, Josh Hutcherson, Yaya DaCosta, Joaquín Garrido, Kunal Sharma

 
I loved this film. I know that it is kind of homophobic and, well, I guess I forgive it for that because I just enjoyed the picture so much. In a sense, I suppose I forgive the film's homophobia because I bought into the story so much. And once I bought in, the film became for me about so many things. I am on a parenting kick this year: some of my favorite movies this year have been about raising kids and watching them grow up and getting older. I am getting older, too, I suppose, and these — I hate to call them issues — let's call them moments of feeling become more and more important to me as I do. I have more to say about The Kids Are All Right, actually. Annette Bening is just masterful. She also gives a superb performance in this year's Mother and Child (see it!). Ms. Bening also has never won an Oscar before and sincerely deserves to win this one. Mark Ruffalo, I should also mention, is fantastic in this movie. All that to say: I don't think The Kids Are All Right is going home with any Oscars on the 27th, but I am crossing my fingers.


Will Win: N/A
Might Win: Actress
My Rating: #4 out of 44

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

3 Nominations:

  · Best Art Direction: Robert Stromberg (Avatar), Karen O'Hara (The Color of Money)

  · Best Costume Design: Colleen Atwood (Little Women, Beloved, Sleepy Hollow, Chicago, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Memoirs of a Geisha, Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Nine)

  · Best Visual Effects

Director: Tim Burton
Cast: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover, Anne Hathaway, Leo Bill, Francis de la Tour

 
I see why this was nominated for things. The look of the film is cool for parts of it. That might be all that there is to say about this film that is positive. I really did like the costumes and the make-up. Really. But everything else? Most of the time I was just trying to figure out what was going on. And not in a fun, Lewis Carroll kind of a way; in an I-don't-get-why-they-are-going-over-there kind of way. The movie's chief problem, though, is that it isn't funny. There's barely a laugh in the whole thing! And it's Lewis Carroll! There should be jokes a plenty.


Will Win: N/A
Might Win: Art Direction
My Rating: #40 out of 44

BIUTIFUL

2 Nominations:

  · Best Actor: Javier Bardem (Before Night Falls, No Country for Old Men)

  · Best Foreign Language Film: Mexico (Amores Perros, The Crime of Father Amaro, Pan's Labyrinth)

Director: Alejandro González Iñárritu
Cast: Bardem, Maricel Álvarez, Hanaa Bouchaib, Guillermo Estrella, Eduard Fernández

 
This is a big success story. Bardem was not really expected to get nominated for this, although the Foreign Language nomination was not a surprise. I haven't seen the movie yet, but Iñárritu's films are challenging and occasionally difficult to watch. His previous films are Amores Perros, 21 Grams, and Babel. In  other words, they have not been consistently good, but they have a style and a look and an interesting — at least to me — world-view. I am very excited for this.
 
Will Win: Foreign Language Film
Might Win: N/A
My Rating: Not Yet Rated

Demon Barbers and Little Liars

Brittney and Wahima and I went, the other day, to see Tim Burton's film of Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. It's a good Tim Burton film, too, but I don't think much of it as a production of Hugh Wheeler and Stephen Sondheim's play. See, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, good actors though they are, just cannot sing the roles for which they are cast.
The result of this lack of singing ability is that the film never really gets off the ground. The really emotional songs seem flat or American Idol-esque in style. The funny songs seem far too serious, and the stuff that's truly insane seems explainable. My favorite song "Epiphany" is almost completely lacking in power.
It's an odd mix. Burton's technique is excellent and his ways of making the play more cinematic sometimes work well. At other times, though, he can't quite imagine directing a musical, and the film gets stuck in that barber shop. Burton has, for instance, cut all of the crowd sequences: "More Hot Pies," the crowd sequence with Pirelli, and my personal favorite, the madhouse stuff where all the inmates sing "rats in the streets" or whatever that song is. I can imagine a couple of very clever ways of doing each of those sequences that film would facilitate rather than hinder, but Burton has decided to cut them out completely. Because of this, the film (paradoxically) seems smaller than stage show, as though London were a city inhabited by only ten or twelve people.
A couple of things work very well, though. Tobias has been recast as a younger boy, about twelve or thirteen, and this choice is great. The young man is instantly loveable and it allows a real relationship to develop between him and Mrs. Lovett. I also really liked the second "Johanna" number, which is one of my favorite songs in the show. The camera follows Antony as he searches for Johanna in the streets, and then cuts back and forth between Sweeney in the barbershop and the beggar woman below. I liked the film alright, I guess, but I would never listen to the soundtrack. Thankfully I can listen to Len Cariou and Angela Lansbury when I get back home.

Today I saw Joe Wright's Atonement and I'm moving it to the top of my list. It's epic, romantic, and powerful. I think it's a good film about the ravages of war, but the romantic plot is an incredibly moving saga. I cannot tell you how many times I cried watching this film, and I know when I see it again I'll probably cry even more. Wright's Pride & Prejudice was a great movie, and it was in my top ten a couple years ago, but Atonement is superb. His skill as a filmmaker should, by now, be evident to everyone. Atonement is subtle, slick and builds slowly and comically, with a sweet, romantic tension. And then the movie shifts and becomes a powerful epic about trying to make a life together amid tragedy. I loved it. Go see it. Bring a handkerchief.

The Oscar Race

So now that I have a little time, I thought it might be interesting to discuss some of the critics awards that have been released over the last couple of days. Everything will change very visibly with the Golden Globe nominations on Thursday, but here is what everyone's talking about right now.

BEST PICTURE
American Gangster
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Atonement
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Bucket List
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Into the Wild
Juno
The Kite Runner
Lars and the Real Girl
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
Sweeney Todd
There Will Be Blood

It seems very likely that no other film will emerge as a frontrunner for awards, and that the five Best Picture nominees will come from this list. It's a huge list, so that shouldn't be too shocking. Most frequently mentioned here are No Country for Old Men, of course, and The Diving Bell and Butterfly, which is getting mentioned as most critics' Best Foreign Language selection. It is ineligible for the Best Foreign Language Oscar, but it could emerge with a Best Picture nomination. If it's lucky. This seems unlikely.

BEST DIRECTOR
Paul Thomas Anderson (L.A.)
Tim Burton (Nat'l Board of Review)
The Coen Brothers (N.Y., San Francisco)
Julian Schnabel (Boston, L.A.)

The additional directors mentioned by the BFCA are: Sidney Lumet (Before the Devil Knows You're Dead), Sean Penn (Into the Wild) and Joe Wright (Atonement). The top four here are Anderson, the Coens and Schnabel. I expect Lumet to get an Oscar nomination too. Not sure about slot five.

BEST ACTOR
George Clooney (NBR, San Fran)
Daniel Day-Lewis (L.A., N.Y.)
Emile Hirsch (NBR)
Frank Langella (Boston, L.A.)

The BFCA also includes Johnny Depp (Sweeney Todd), Ryan Gosling (Lars and the Real Girl) and Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises). Viggo Mortensen's performance is one of the best of year--no question. Not sure if he can score a nomination, though. I think Hirsch's chances are iffy, too. He is very young for a Best Actor nomination. Could James McAvoy (Atonement) place?

BEST ACTRESS
Julie Christie (NBR, L.A., N.Y., San Fran)
Marion Cotillard (Boston)
Anamaria Marinca (L.A.)
Ellen Page (NBR)

THE BFCA adds to this Amy Adams (Enchanted), Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth: the Golden Age) and Angelina Jolie (A Mighty Heart). They aren't included here, but I think Laura Linney (The Savages) and Keira Knightley (Atonement) could also place.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Casey Affleck (NBR, San Fran)
Javier Bardem (Boston, N.Y.)
Hal Holbrook (L.A.)
Vlad Ivanov (L.A.)

The BFCA adds Philip Seymour Hoffman (Charlie Wilson's War) and Tom Wilkinson (Michael Clayton). The field is not completely wide open here, but only Bardem is really set in stone here. And everyone was talking about Max Von Sydow (The Diving Bell and Butterfly) last week...

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Ryan (NBR, Boston, L.A., N.Y., San Fran)
Cate Blanchett (L.A.)

The only name anyone is mentioning is Amy Ryan and this is stupid. Not because she's bad in the movie (although I wasn't particularly over the moon about her performance), but because the critics have a chance to influence the discourse. The only actress anyone wants to talk about is Amy Ryan, and they could be choosing instead to promote some other cool performances. The BFCA adds Catherine Keener (Into the Wild), Vanessa Redgrave (Atonement) and Tilda Swinton (Michael Clayton). But what about Kelly Macdonald (No Country for Old Men), Charlotte Gainsbourg (I'm Not There.) or Leslie Mann (Knocked Up). I can think of another three or four actresses whose supporting work impressed me. It is a little ridiculous that no critics organizations can think of any.

Oscar Nominees: Part Three

JUNEBUG

1 Nomination: Best Supporting Actress
A Really great film, buoyed by excellent performances all around. The script is really great, too. I wish this film had gotten more recognition, but I suppose I should just be happy Amy Adams nabbed a nomination.
Will Win: Nothing
Could Win: Supporting Actress (I hope I hope I hope)
My Rating: #8 out of 82 films

MATCH POINT

1 Nomination: Best Original Screenplay
Woody Allen's return to greatness? Pretty much... or so it appears. I have loved Woody Allen for years and it's nice to see him get another Oscar nomination. The last one was eight years ago for Deconstructing Harry.
Will Win: Nothing
Could Win: Nothing
My Rating: #13 out of 82 films

THE SQUID AND THE WHALE

1 Nomination: Best Original Screenplay
Clever little film with truly odious characters. This movie was critically acclaimed and truly deserves its nomination, but it hasn't a prayer to win... and I don't really think it ought to, either. My reasoning for this is chiefly based on the horrible, horrible outfits Laura Linney wore throughout.
Will Win: Nothing
Could Win: Nothing
My Rating: #55 out of 82 films

THE NEW WORLD

1 Nomination: Best Cinematography
My favorite film of the year and the most maligned by the Academy of all the films nominated. It probably suffered from its extremely late release date. But it is a truly gorgeous film and Emmanuel Lubeski very much deserves his nomination.
Will Win: Nothing
Could Win: Nothing
My Rating: #1 out of 82 films

BATMAN BEGINS

1 Nomination: Best Cinematography
The best comic book movie that's come out in a long time. Christopher Nolan did great work with the Batman mythology and everyone in Hollywood was pleased. I expected it, frankly, to perform better on nomination morning, but a B-picture is a B-picture, and action films aren't usually the stuff of Oscars. A shame, because the costume design and art direction for this film were excellent, and the score (disqualified by the Academy—too many composers) had people talking as well.
Will Win: Nothing
Could Win: Nothing
My Rating: #29 out of 82 films

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

1 Nomination: Best Costume Design
Tim Burton! Hi! I'm Tim Burton! Look at how weird I am! I'm being mean. I actually really liked this movie, but I guess I'm one of very few. Everyone else seemed to really dislike it. It's box office was pretty good, but critics panned it and none of my friends liked it either.
Will Win: Nothing
Could Win: Nothing
My Rating: #34 out of 82 films

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

1 Nomination: Best Art Direction
How this missed for Visual Effects I just don't know. Ah well. Harry Potter has all the money in the world. He doesn't need a bunch of Oscar nominations to boot.
Will Win: Nothing
Could Win: Nothing
My Rating: #26 out of 82 films

STAR WARS - EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH

1 Nomination: Best Makeup
No comment. Why did I see this movie again?
Will Win: Jack Shit Nothing
Could Win: Visual Effects
My Rating: #82 out of 82 films

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Quite frankly, I'm shocked that almost no one liked Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I had heard such bad things about this film, and then I watched it this morning and enjoyed it thoroughly. I thought it was absolutely hilarious and full of magic and fun. It's cartoony and silly and bizzare and, well, nearly perfect. I do think Johnny Depp is creepy and weird and that white makeup he's wearing is quite freakish, but he's just so funny in the movie.

I liked Charlie better than Corpse Bride, but I had the same complaint with Charlie: I hate the songs. HATE the songs. I think the film would be great if it didn't have all of that stupidity. It'd be different if the songs were at all good, but they're not. They're all--without exception--dreadful. I had the same gripe with Corpse Bride. Really good film, really bad songs. And lest you think I dislike Danny Elfman, let me tell you that I think the scores to both movies are quite good. It's the songs that Burton and Elfman feel the need to pepper their films with to which I object. They're just ...annoying. They serve no narrative purpose most of the time and none of them has any lyric worth repeating or melody-line worth humming.

But Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: good movie--good, clean, wholesome fun.