Tully (2018)

Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman's Tully is funny and poignant, and I was having a good time for two acts of the film.

Charlize Theron is just great. She's the kind of actress who is excellent in a comedy film, an action film, a serious drama film, and she often be the single most compellingly watchable thing in a fantasy film.

But then in act three the movie does this dumb thing that I won't explain other than to say it's the kind of thing a first-time screenwriter would tell you about over drinks while saying something like Isn't that clever?? Well, no. It actually isn't. It's unnecessary and gets in the way of all of the smart, funny, intriguing themes you were exploring.

Diablo Cody's screenplay takes this dumb turn at the film's end that just spoils the movie so much that it almost invalidates all of the interesting things that Tully had to say. It settles for easy solutions, and it makes the film about the writer instead of about the characters. It's too bad, too, because Tully was really good before the last 15 minutes or so.

Labor Day - Bad Title, Worse Movie.

Labor Day is awful.

When I saw the first trailer, I thought: Oh, these performances look interesting, and I do love a nice coming-of-age tale about an awkward young man who loves his mother a little more than he probably should. The trailer also boasted a scene with a shootout (the little boy crouches on what looks like a sofa while bullets tear up the walls around him), as well as a scene with James Van Der Beek as a policeman who gets wise to the goings-on. Also, I love Kate Winslet, and I've liked all of Jason Reitman's films.

I am not quite sure at what point I started to get really angry at Labor Day, but it was pretty early on in the movie. See, the movie is narrated as a long-form flashback by the grown-up version of the young man in the movie. And that grown-up is Tobey Maguire, whose voice is stuck in the back of his throat at all times, as though he is still afraid he's going to get the wrong answer to a question in class.

Tobey Maguire, however, is not the main problem in Labor Day. The main problem with this film is the source material. Reitman's movie (he also penned the screenplay) is based on a novel by Joyce Maynard. OK, in truth, I cannot speak for the source material, but the screenplay is nothing but a series of romantic movie-clichés rolled into the service of a silly melodrama. Labor Day is basically a Zac Efron movie with older actors (I'm thinking particularly of The Lucky One). This film has A-list stars who get nominated for Academy Awards and is directed by a filmmaker who makes excellent, awards-level fare (Up in the Air, Thank You for Smoking, Young Adult), but Labor Day is nothing more than a bit of Nicholas Sparks fluff dressed up to look as though it might actually approach something akin to tragedy. This is a masquerade of a film. A romance novel pretending to be a drama.

More than a year ago I wrote a review of the Nichols Sparks/Zac Efron/Scott Hicks movie The Lucky One, and I called it "exhaustingly formulaic, unabashedly heteronormative, filled with inane dialogue, excruciatingly white, and cloyingly sentimental." I want to say all of those things again in reference to Labor Day except that this time the dialogue is worse –

K: I wish I could give you a family.
J: You already have. [clunk clunk clunk]

This is James Van Der Beek at TIFF.
Just an excuse for me to post this pic.

 and

K: I don't want to lose you.
J: I'd trade 20 years in prison for another 5 days with you.
[To which my cousin Angela muttered "Well that's not very smart"]

– the cast is whiter, the heteronormativity is even more pronounced, the misogyny is more outrageous, the sentiment is more forced, plus Labor Day doesn't have any fun, older festive aunts or grandmothers or anything like that to make sassy remarks and tell the woman she's in love before she even realizes it (this character is played by Blythe Danner in The Lucky One, but there's nothing similar to a figure like this in Labor Day).

The performances aren't exactly bad in Labor Day, but there is nothing remotely approaching storytelling that makes even a little bit of sense here. The entire thing is, frankly, embarrassing. A little boy spends a long, Labor Day weekend with an escaped prisoner, and this man teaches him (apparently) all the things he will need to know in order to succeed later in life. Incidentally, we do find out why the man is in prison, and the film behaves as though what he did was somehow justifiable. The unabashed sexism in the film's apologia for its hero's crime is blatantly misogynist and horribly offensive.

This film is a chore. Avoid.

LOTS of Drinking: Part Two

I'm not sure if I can actually be smart about why I liked The Spectacular Now as much as I did, but I am going to try.

The Spectacular Now is a rather simple drama on the face of it. High-school kid Sutter is a fun-loving guy who spends most of his time drinking, partying, and cruising around town in his car instead of focusing on his future or spending time with his family accidentally wakes up on someone else's lawn after an evening of blackout-level drinking. This isn't a drama about alcoholism, so it's not like he has a rude awakening or anything, instead Sutter wakes up to the face of the relatively plain and unassuming Aimee Finecky.

They start hanging out, and since Sutter and his cute/hot girlfriend of two years have recently broken up, Sutter spends more time with Aimee. No one has ever really taken any notice of her, and she falls for Tucker hard. The whole thing is very sweet in a non-cloying, non-clichéd, non-She's-All-That kind of way.

This is a movie about high-school-age young people, so this is a coming-of-age story and a story about taking responsibility, saying no to the other adults in one's life so that one can become one's own adult. Like every film about high school, The Spectacular Now is also filled with awkward, silly decisions made by people who think they know a great deal about the world, but in fact know just as little as the rest of us.

What makes James Ponsoldt's film excellent, though, is the way that it manages to eschew most of the usual clichés of this genre, the way it demonstrates just how much fun Sutter is, and the way the director deftly follows Sutter's alcoholism in a way that allows it to make sense (there were times when I thought I wish he wouldn't drink so much, but... he's so fun when he's drinking. Oh, who cares: let him drink! I want him to keep being fun.)

Mr. Teller

And then there are the performances. Shailene Woodley, who was this close to scoring an Oscar nomination for her role in The Descendants a couple years ago is awkward and lovely: it's a gorgeously natural performance. And Miles Teller, who was the teenager who accidentally killed Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart's kid in Rabbit Hole, is unbelievably good. I found his performance to be absolutely revelatory. He is just incredible: naturally buoyant and fun, he lifts every scene with his impeccable timing, his easy flow from line to line, his beautiful way of giving away his feelings while appearing to attempt to hide everything. We understand Sutter through and through, and even though he makes mistake after mistake, treats his girlfriend like a total asshole, has a serious drinking problem, and can't figure out how to be anything resembling polite to his mother, I loved this boy. Teller is just excellent.

In any case, The Spectacular Now is just a movie about high-schoolers figuring out the world. It's not groundbreaking or life-changing, but I found it deeply moving. And in this time where most filmic ways of looking at characters are ironic or cynical or even smug, The Spectacular Now looks at its troubled central character with humanity and deep affection. I don't see that very often at the movies, and when I do, I am glad of it.

The Evil Queen

My friend Julie and I chart our personal journey with Snow White and the Huntsman, which we both expected to be bad, but which I rather liked.

Julie: I have candles lit, and my popcorn and beer. I am ready.
Aaron: I'm a litle sad it's PG-13. I love an R movie.
Julie: Well, it has Kristen Stewart. She's not old enough for R-rated films.
Aaron: Truth.
Julie: Just R-rated personal lives (did you hear how she had that affair with that director? Trollop)
Aaron: Don't hate. Slut power.

Julie: This is Beauty and the Beast. They're already stealing shit! That red rose.
Aaron: I think they're stealing from Into the Woods.
Julie: I hope they start singing.

Aaron: This shot stolen from Gladiator. Oh this art direction is pretty.
Julie: Not as pretty as Anonymous.
Aaron: Nonsense.
Julie: Um, that looks like Anonymous. That snow.
Aaron: That Snow! Hahaha. The snow was the best thing about Anonymous. At least this looks like it was shot on location.

Julie: And at Medieval Times.
Aaron: I already like the look of this, though. Even if it does look like Medieval Times. Ooo. This army is spooky. They just STOOD there! They're made of glass!!
Julie: Oooooo! This is not the snow white I know! How festive.
Aaron: I like it. Speaking of sluts. This king!
Julie: Haha.
Aaron: Look at her boobs!
Julie: They are constricted. Let them have some air.
Aaron: This child actor is adorbs! I like her smile.
Julie: She won't last long though. K-slut is coming.
Aaron: $10 says Kristen Stewart never smiles once.
Julie: Oh man. I would lose that bet. Not fair. I love that Charlize wears her crown to bed. During sex.
Aaron: "Men use women". I love it. This is so feminist!
Julie: Oh, it is because she is killing him. Niiiiice. This is like Teeth! Without the killer vagina.
Aaron: OH MY GOD. I love this.
Julie: Oh, that score.
Aaron: This is so campy. She just wears a crown the whole time.
Julie: I would too. Let's be honest.
Aaron: This brother is a new addition to the myth. Who is this Rutger Hauer-like character?
Julie: Well, does the queen actually kill the king in the tale? I thought he just died.  
Aaron: I think so. yeah.
Julie: Riot.
Aaron: When kings die there's always a riot.
Julie: Really? I'm googling that shit. She marries a widowed king who has a daughter called Snow White from his first wife. The Queen envies Snow White's beauty, and so tries to have her killed, setting the story in motion. That's it. That's all Wikipedia will tell me.
Aaron: I love how they managed to put the mirror on the wall just in time for her to say "Mirror, mirror on the wall". 
Julie: Oooo, the terminator! That liquid shit is so James Cameron.
Aaron: So true.
Julie: K-Steewwwwwwwww. Isn't this Cinderella now?
Aaron: My skin would be as white as snow if I never saw fuckin daylight, too.
Julie: What is she doing in those cinders?
Aaron: Girlfriend is cold.
Julie: Girl needs to go to the jersey shore.
Aaron: The Lord's Prayer?
Julie: Uh oh. God stuff.
Aaron: Hahaha
Julie: As in life, her hair goes unwashed.
Aaron: IS SHE EATING THE HEART OF A BIRD? I LOVE HER.
Julie: I HOPE SO. ICE QUEEN. She is fun.
Aaron: The brother's Dorothy Hammill do is not cute.
Julie: NUDITY. I don't know what you're talking about. Hot.
Aaron: In ancient Rome, the empress Poppaea used to bathe in mik.
Julie: She wears her crown in the bath, too! What the fuck is happening?
Aaron: I do not care. It is just too fabulous.
Julie: And what are those claws? I want.
Aaron: That dress is amazing. And these claws are fantastic.
Julie: OOOOOOO. Girl got stabbed! Her crown could impale someone. Did she just eat his heart by like osmosis or something?
Aaron: I can't tell. She did some chicanery, though.
Julie: WHAT IS HAPPENING
Aaron: I think we're just getting portraits of how awful she is.
Julie: This dude is my favorite. Creepy albino.
Aaron: Dear heavens let there be some incest.
Julie: Yes, please! A-Jolie style. Lesbianism?
Aaron: It's good for what ails you.
Julie: How is she doing all this? Where did these powers come from? Did I miss something?
Aaron: Wait. Why didn't she kill the boy that way?
Julie: Because she wanted to air-eat his heart?
Aaron: You didn't miss anything. She's, like, super-old or something, but she has magic powers.
Julie: Humph.
Aaron: And only she can see the Terminator?
Julie: It looked like big bro could... right? Or does he just think sis is cray cray?
Aaron: I think he is jells.
Julie: Totes jeals.

Aaron: I think Kristen Stewart might be sort of... smiling.
Julie: Haha. Ewwwwwwww creepy touching. Well done, K-Stew. Badass.
Aaron: I wonder how come the brother doesn't have any magic powers..
Julie: Because he is an albino.

Aaron: This cameraman isn't quite sure how to shoot a running scene, I feel.
Julie: whoa! sewer slide!
Aaron: I like the landscape shots though.
Julie: Yeah, the cinematography leaves a little to be desired at times. No oscar for you... Greig Fraser.
Aaron: Art direction and costumes totes deserve nominations, though, right?
Julie: Art direction is rad.
Aaron: Random white horse.
Julie: I hope he is a unicorn.
Aaron: Why isn't he? I mean, they can make up whatever they want, right? Give me unicorns and dragons.
Julie: I'm still up in the air about costumes. K-Stew needs some new ones. Those sleeves do not work for me. Oooo, dragons! Yes, please.
Aaron: But the Queen's costumes! They are already more interesting than the three costumes the Queen wore in Mirror Mirror.
Julie: I know! Hers are good. But Medieval Times and K-stew need help.You know I did not see that shit.
Aaron: The costumes were by Eiko Ishioka. That's why I went.
Julie: Oh, that is right. So sad she ended on that movie. Julia Roberts. Oy.

Julie: I hope the trees start attacking her à la Wizard of Oz.
Aaron: EW. This is so good.
Julie: They look like they might.
Aaron: I love how imaginative this whole thing is. This is disgusting!! I am loving it. It's like she's hallucinating.
Julie: Are we in Harry Potter now?
Aaron: I. LOVE. THIS.
Julie: You. Are. Drunk.

Aaron: This costume is fabulous, too!
Julie: Ooo, I like that neck-crown thing. That outfit looks like it was in Wonderland. Yeah, that's right: I just referenced Frank Wildhorn. She is CRAY. And violent! look at those eyes! He loves her. It's kind of sweet.
Aaron: Have I not given you all? she said. Incest. Clearly. That's what that means.
Julie: Hellooooo, sailor. Or huntsman, I guess. This should be called The Evil Queen. I don't know why they think we care about those two.
Aaron: I only care about the Queen and how fabulous she is.
Julie: Is he Irish? Why is he the only one with an accent? Wait, does he have an accent? What is going on with his voice?
Aaron: He does have one.
Julie: (Am I drunk?)
Aaron: But Charlize has an accent too. She is vaguely British or something.
Julie: By the way, where are we? Did they say? I mean, we should be in Germany, but that's clearly not happening.
Aaron: Things look vaguely medieval. Which could be anywhere, right?
Julie: Yes... but Snow White is a German fairy tale. K-Stew should have an accent! Wouldn't that be festive?
Aaron: Has she said anything yet?
Julie: Ha. Just a few lines. To albino. When he tried to rape her. Sort of. I need more beer.
Aaron: This movie is not nearly as bad as Anonymous. I kind of like it. She does have an accent.
Julie: She is annoying.
Aaron: She's just sort of helpless so far.
Julie: You're right. This is not nearly as bad as Anonymous. Which means it's not as fun.
 
Julie: EWWWWW
Aaron: This is so gross!! I am into it.
Julie: Yet you don't watch horror movies. I don't get it. Oh, she is British. But she is not "valuable". That is a lie.
Aaron: She is totally doing an accent. It is no good.
Julie: Truth. She isn't very attractive either.
Aaron: I mean, what makes this girl so damn special? That's what I don't get. Kristen Stewart aside.
Julie: Seriously. Just because she was born a Princess?
Aaron: Oh yeah. That's what it is. Nobility.
Julie: Glad I could clear that up.
Aaron: Ah the value of the rich. This demands a materialist analysis.

Julie: Snakes in a forest! Where is Sam J when you need him? I'm going to have some gummy worms now.

Aaron: This guy is a cutie!
Julie: Who?
Aaron: The son of the Duke who was her boyfriend when they were kids.
Julie: Oooo. And here I thought she would get with the Huntsman. But I guess he wants his dead wife, eh?
Aaron: Are you Canadian?
Julie: For tonight.
Aaron: That's a new accent for this film.
Julie: HAHA. I'm just trying to keep it diverse. Oh, they're gettin' it on later.
Aaron: She has four expressions.
Julie: Oh, Aaron. You're way too generous. She has one. Dour and dour.

Julie: Nice fur!
Aaron: I love that the queen has so many different crowns, too.

Aaron: Such effects.
Julie: Oooooh, trolls! Visual effects oscar??
Aaron: This director loves Guillermo Del Toro. Right? I mean, this film is basically a GDT homage.
Julie: This visual effects guy has done Tim Burton and Pirates of the Caribbean. And Clash of the Titans. Haha.
Aaron: She has, like, feelings or something. She just tamed the wild troll. By looking at it.
Julie: The troll is kind of cute. He needs a hug.
Aaron: Oh it's like how the birds love Snow White in Disney's movie.

I'm WISHING

For the ONE I love.

To FIND me.

TODAY.

Julie: HAHA. Who is this bitch?
Aaron: New character. Another woman. This film is so feminist. I love it.
Julie: Just because women are the main characters does not make it feminist, A-ron.
Aaron: Yes it does. Most Hollywood films have 0 women. Or one woman.
Julie: K-Stew is depending on a man right now.
Aaron: No. She is finding her own power.
Julie: Yeah, ok.

Julie: How is she wearing eyeshadow? She was in prison for years and just ran through a forest!
Aaron: She is magically beautiful and white.
Julie: That girl in prison. What was the point of her? She was like that sickly girl in Jane Eyre. Who loved god.
Aaron: She gave her youth to Charlize.
Julie: She did? How silly of her.
Aaron: Haha.

Julie: Nudity!
Aaron: Naked Charlize. Oo! Girl is a mess.
Julie: Girl needs a cheeseburger. Those ribs. Oy. She is a vampire! Drinkin' the blood.
Aaron: Drinking blood is always related to eternal youth. Or anthropophagia in general.
Julie: Anthro what?
Aaron: Cannibalism keeps you young!

Aaron: We should never have beeeeeen there. Her accent! The best. But Chris Hemsworth is Scottish. Dwarves! About time.
Julie: Scottish! yes. I am bad with accents. That dude has orange hair.
Aaron: Oh they're not really dwarves. They didn't hire dwarves!? It's all CG.
Julie: Is Julie Taymor involved? What is with that bird mask?
Aaron: Eyes Wide Shut?
Julie: Hahahaha. Where is Tom then? He is kind of a dwarf.
Aaron: Who? Oh. Tom Cruise. I forget about him sometimes.

Aaron: Finally a person of color! The first one.
Julie: Are you keeping count? Are you sure one of those medieval knights wasn't Latino or something?
Aaron: Hahaha. The movie is all about how white her skin is. I always keep count about how many people of color I see. Don't you?

Julie: Sanctuaaaaaary! Like Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Aaron: God help the outcasts.
Julie: She kind of smiled again. Ha. Indeed. God help them.
Aaron: Notice now that we are in fairyland, she ain't sayin' the Lord's prayer.
Julie: She gave up her faith so easily.
Aaron: This music is totes a Jim Cameron thing, too.
Julie: Titanic.
Aaron: Right? It is exactly the same.
Julie: Love. So. Much. And like Kate Winslet, she needs to wash her hair. I'm sorry, I just can't look at that grease for much longer.
Aaron: I mean, miss thing was imprisoned.
Julie: I do not give a shit. She is in the forest by some stream. Hop to it.
Aaron: Ooo true. I think that is the first thing I would do. Run some soap through my filthy mane.
Julie: Right? I hate feeling dirty. But K-stew likes it.

Julie: Gollum!
Aaron: Ooo Gollum! I like that all these beasts are around. What is going on??
Julie: Is she making friends with the forest?
Aaron: I don't understand. I think we are supposed to know, but I don't quite get it.
Julie: Gollum 1 and 2! Yes, those animals love her. It'd be better if they sang though.
Aaron: Please tell me GDT is the voice of this deer.
Julie: HAHA
Aaron: Ew.
Julie: Ewww, wash those fingernails
Aaron: So nasty. She has magic powers. She is the ONE. Like Harry Potter.
Julie: According to whom? The albino deer? Why are there so many albinos in this film?
Aaron: This is traumatic!
Julie: Oh, the gollums are faeries. I just realized.
Aaron: They couldn't have saved the fucking stag?
Julie: No. Sacrifice.
Aaron: Like Aslan.
Julie: They are trying to kill the one man of color! This film is racist.
Aaron: This film has been racist.
Julie: Well yes, but now it is obvious.
Aaron: I miss the evil queen.
Julie: me too. I hope she is shopping.
Aaron: Another fabulous outfit.
Julie: She is feeling him dying.
Aaron: That brother of hers must've been like part of her or something. I love Charlize Theron in this.
Julie: she is getting old!
Aaron: Poor thing.
Julie: Ooooo. I'll miss albino brother.
Aaron: I will not.
Julie: I don't know how you can't miss that wig.

Aaron: Singing dwarves. It's a preview of The Hobbit.
Julie: Hi-ho, hi-ho...
Aaron: HAHA.
Julie: This is very Lord of the Rings, you are correct.

Aaron: The look of this film is constantly changing. It is a relief. A smile?
Julie: These two are quite possibly the most boring people alive. I don't understand how anyone has hired her. She has no talent whatsoever. Her range is non-existent. Hopefully he will die.
Aaron: He is cute. Hush your mouth.
Julie: He needs to shave.
Aaron: Not to get into my bed he doesn't.
Julie: Well, into mine, he does.
Aaron: She needs to liven up. And wash her hands.

Aaron: IT'S NOT HIM. This is great.
Julie: Yesssssssssss. That fucker. He just got more interesting.
Aaron: It's her in disguise.
Julie: Wake up, huntsman!!
Aaron: I want the Queen to win.
Julie: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Creeptastic!
Aaron: THAT DRESS.
Julie: (He remains boring.) Ooooo love the bird cape! Boring boyfriend is back. Time to put her ass in a glass coffin.
Aaron: Haha. Huntsman has lots of feelings
Julie: He is the only one.

Aaron: OH MY GOD. These birds.
Julie: Ewwwwwwwwwwww
Aaron: This is so grotesque. I fucking love it.
Julie: That sludge is cool. She is a hot mess.
Aaron: Everything related to this queen is cool. The hottest. Of messes.
Julie: Sad boyfriend.
Aaron: More fur. They love fur.
Julie: Fur instead of glass? I do not approve
Aaron: Neither does PETA.
Julie: Haha.
Aaron: She has the same expression as when she was alive. Who can tell the difference?
Julie: Why is he drunk and crying? Why does he care so much? This is his big monologue. His big moment!
Aaron: He is lovely. I love how he sort of is slurring too. Because he is drunk. He is good. I like him: Thor.
Julie: I KNEW HE HAD A THING FOR HER. Poor dude.
Aaron: Sherlock fuckin' Holmes. The movie is called Snow White and the Huntsman.
Julie: Yeah, but he coulda been a father figure to her. It didn't have to go there, A-ron. She has a boyfriend after all. Why is she alive? How did that even happen? I am missing everything.
Aaron: True Love's Kiss. Or something?
Julie: I thought this wasn't Disney? Zombie K-Stew is trying to inspire the troops!
Aaron: "I'd rather die today than live another day of this death." What the hell is she talking about? Ooooooh. It's Henry V.
Julie: Ha. I do not know.

Julie: She is young again!
Aaron: Another new crown. I love Charlize Theron in this.
Julie: I love her in everything. Even that Young Adult mess.
Aaron: She is so good in that!

Aaron: Uh oh. Dwarves used for comic relief. Just the same as every other Snow White movie. Ugh.
Julie: You knew it had to  happen.
Aaron: I hate that shit. Ableist nonsense: They're so funny! Their bodies are different from ours.
Julie: I mean, this movie is racist. Did you really think it would have a politically correct view of dwarves?
Aaron: Touché.
Julie: If this movie had more plot to go with all these effects, it wouldn't be half bad.
Aaron: I think it's pretty good as is, really. Sometimes effects are enough for me.
Julie: No, my eyes start to glaze over. That's why I can't watch all those fast/furious movies. Too many action sequences just bore me.
Aaron: But these effects are like magical and shit. I am into that. Like black oil pouring onto people. That's cool. If I were this queen right about now, I'd be like "You're coming back to me?" She's been looking for her the whole movie. And now K-Stew just runs upstairs like "Sorry I stayed out past curfew!"
Julie: She is just asking for it

Aaron: Badass!
Julie: This is pretty cool
Aaron: YES
Julie: Ooo that father reference made her angry. As though we care about the father who was in the movie for all of 5 seconds.
Aaron: So true.
Julie: I like that metallic shrug she's rockin'
Aaron: THIS IS SO COOL.

Aaron: Kristen Stewart is so boring. She says "you can't have my heart" without moving her mouth.
Julie: Because I don't have one! Too much Botox. You know how those Hollywood kids are, A-ron.
Aaron: She's like 22. She's younger than we are.
Julie: Whatever, she started that shit in the womb
Aaron: She looks like she's had 50 years of misery, though.
Julie: Hahahaha Ooo, they put some blush on her! not so pale.
Aaron: Art direction's looking sort of Flemish now.
Julie: It's like the EPCOT of art direction

Julie: That dress is Ug. Ly.
Aaron: Yeah it is. Don't they know their previous queen was way more fabulous?
Julie: WHO IS SHE GOING TO CHOOSE?
Aaron: I am on tinterhooks.
Julie: She smiled again!
Aaron: She vaguely smiled again.
Julie: But they aren't going to tell us!! CLIFFHANGER.
Aaron: It's like The Hunger Games.
Julie: That was dumb. As is this music.
Aaron: I thought it was totally cool. The plot was non existent. And Kristen Stewart is a black hole of feelings. Having her at the center of a movie is like the kiss of death.
Julie: There weren't enough effects to make up for the lack in plot or in acting.
Aaron: Charlize was AMAZING. She was the CAMPIEST.
Julie: Charlize was super-fun. This was my first K-Stew experience, and I think it must be my last. She is god-awful.
Aaron: It won't be.
Julie: Yes, it will. Unless she is in a film that is Oscar-nominated, I can avoid her.
Aaron: She will be.
Julie: Don't even kid about something like that.

Aaron: Good night.
Julie: Night! Sleep well. Dream of K-Stew's greasy hair.

2012's Nominees: Part 4 of 10

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

3 Nominations

• Sound Mixing
• Sound Editing
• Visual Effects

Director: Michael Bay

Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Frances McDormand, John Turturro, Patrick Dempsey, Julie White, Kevin Dunn, John Malkovich, Tyrese Gibson.

This movie was so absolutely terrible that I actually started to enjoy it. Now, I understand that people say this rather frequently ("But it's so bad it's good, Aaron; you're sure to enjoy it!") but I almost never feel that way with movies. Transformers: Dark of the Moon is different. It's an absolute train-wreck; it's incredibly confusing; and it's so absolutely permeated by stupidity that it is actually fun. I keep coming back to this, but at one point in the movie – as my friend Allan pointed out to me – a building falls in slow motion for about 10 minutes while all the action inside the building takes place in real time. This is after an extended sequence where soldiers actually fly into Chicago. How they manage to fly is not explained; who these soldiers are is not explained; why they are flying into Chicago is also not explained. Once I gave over to this blatant gratuitousness, Transformers: Dark of the Moon totally became worth watching. As for Oscar, they keep nominating these Transformers movies, but they never manage to win. Don't hold your breath.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #52 out of 65

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

2 Nominations

• Picture
• Supporting Actor: Max Von Sydow (Pelle the Conqueror)

Director: Stephen Daldry

Cast: Thomas Horn, Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Von Sydow, Viola Davis, John Goodman, Jeffrey Wright, Zoe Caldwell.

This film... I don't know. I read the book and really liked it, and, well, the book is really bookish. So making this into a movie didn't really work for me. I thought the film didn't really completely understand the book, and the film is sentimental in ways that the book is not. The book is also fundamentally about the 1945 bombing of Dresden, and historicizes (as we say in the Academy) the bombing of the World Trade Center by placing it in the context of other enormous global bombing incidents: Dresden and Hiroshima. Still, it's a nice film and is inoffensive as far as it goes. It is also great that Von Sydow got a long overdue second Oscar nomination for his work here (he was notably passed over in 1999 and then again in 2007.)

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: Supporting Actor

My Rating: #38 out of 65

My Week with Marilyn

2 Nominations

• Actress: Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine, Brokeback Mountain)
• Supporting Actor: Kenneth Branagh (Henry V)

Director: Simon Curtis

Cast: Williams, Eddie Redmayne, Branagh, Emma Watson, Judi Dench, Julia Ormond, Dominic Cooper, Zoë Wanamaker, Simon Russell Beale, Derek Jacobi, Toby Jones.

This has an odd tone to it. The performances are rather lovely, though. I was particularly fond of Branagh, who does a very nice impression of Olivier that is also imbued with a great deal of feeling. All in all, though, I am not really sure that I understood this movie. Are we supposed to come away from it really believing in Marilyn's genius or pain or innocence or allure? It certainly doesn't make anything about Marilyn's life any clearer, and the whole thing has the feel of a kind of young man's wet dream fantasy about Marilyn Monroe falling in love with him.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #39 out of 65

Bridesmaids

2 Nominations

• Original Screenplay: Kristen Wiig, Annie Mumolo
• Supporting Actress: Melissa McCarthy

Director: Paul Feig

Cast: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, McCarthy, Jill Clayburgh, Chris O'Dowd, Wendi McLendon-Covey.

I thought this was really funny. And lest you tell me that it was mostly improvisation and doesn't quite deserve an original screenplay nod, I would direct your attention to Mike Leigh's five nominations in this category (every one of them deserved). Frankly, I think the nomination that is undeserved here is McCarthy's, but people do seem to like her work. She's a popular favorite, so I won't grouse about it. In a lot of ways, I think this film's popularity with the Academy just goes to show that the Academy is not completely out of touch with the popularity of films, though some would have us believe that they only go in for "artsy" stuff ("artsy" as far as I can tell simply means "bad"). Two nominations is nothing to sneeze at! – more, certainly, than J. Edgar or Young Adult or The Ides of March or A Dangerous Method or other obvious Oscar-bait films managed to get.

Will Win: N/A

Could Win: N/A

My Rating: #31 out of 65

Oh that Jason Reitman

I really liked Thank You for Smoking, but Jason Reitman's new movie Juno is easily one of the best of the year. The screenplay is absolutely superb, of course, and Diablo Cody, Juno's now-famous scribe deserves all the accolades she's getting, but Reitman's cinematic sensibility is really something to talk about, I think. He has a way with scathing satire that gets under your skin and makes you really care about the characters he wants to skewer.
His blend of comedy and drama is, to my mind, a unique one. Exceedingly clever, dark humor with moments of genuine beauty.
Easily one of my favorite films of the year. Juno is a really great movie, with a central, acerbic performance from actress Ellen Page that is impossible not to love. The supporting cast is great too, with Michael Cera, Jason Bateman, Alison Janney, Olivia Thirlby, J.K. Simmons and Jennifer Garner. I absolutely loved it. It's quirky, fun, moving without being sentimental, and has the wittiest dialogue you'll hear in a movie this year.

Movie Sum-up Post

I have seen about ten movies since I last wrote about one in this space. This sucks as a movie blog. I hope no one's here for that because I'm not very good at movie-blogging as it turns out. Nevertheless, I bring you reviews (albeit, short) of the ten films I've seen this year that I haven't written about.

This afternoon: Robert Altman's very musical extravaganza A Prairie Home Companion, which is full of lovely jokes, down-home humor and the brilliant non-sequitor-filled silliness of both Altman films and Garrison Keillor's weekly radio program. There are some really fun segments of the show absent from the film, but one cannot have everything and the movie is a delight from start to finish, featuring really wonderful performances from a whole cast of greats, but especially Meryl Streep & Lily Tomlin and Woody Harrelson & John C. Reilly as two singing duos. My favorite performance in the film is from Marylouise Burke, who plays the lunch lady.

Josef von Sternberg's Morocco starring the totally fabulous Marlene Dietrich in her only Oscar-nominated performance is fairly standard fare as films go... or so I thought for the first half hour or so. The film's plot is standard, but Dietrich herself is a force with which to be reckoned. The much-talked about scene with her performing a cabaret act in a tuxedo and kissing a woman full on the lips is in Morocco and I must confess that it took me completely by surprise and I was instantly in love. The movie is only okay, but Dietrich is incredible. I'm hooked.

Sudden Fear is a later Joan Crawford vehicle starring a past-her-prime Crawford and a supposedly charismatic and charming Jack Palance (!). For me the film failed on all counts, except that it features the compelling-yet-irritating Gloria Grahame (who I grudgingly love). I don't like Joan Crawford; I've decided. I know it's, like, sacrilege, or something. ...And here's the thing: I don't think it's a rational dislike of Crawford. I think I dislike her because Bette Davis so disliked her. As one of my co-workers said, I should start to hate half of old-Hollywood if my loyalty runs so deep: Ms. Davis could've paved a street with the names of people she despised, but I really think that's it. Still it isn't rational. I love Celeste Holm and Ms. Davis loathed her, so... I have no explanation other than I think Ms. Crawford can't act for shit, doesn't particularly have nice legs (a feature with which Sudden Fear seemed obsessed) and isn't particularly pretty--by any yardstick. Sue me in gay court later.

I really liked Jason Reitman's Thank You for Smoking. I thought it was very, very funny in an offbeat, irreverent, punishing sort of way and the script is really clever. The acting is good, for the most part, with some excellent performances from Robert Duvall and Maria Bello, especially. I loved the kid, too: Cameron Bright (from the lackluster Birth). Mostly this is just a funny, funny movie. Three things, though: 1) Katie Holmes looks like a little kid. I cannot believe her in any role. I couldn't believe her as a lawyer in Batman Begins, and I didn't buy her for a second as a reporter in Thank You for Smoking. She looks like she couldn't even buy a pack of smokes if she wanted to. 2) My boy Aaron Eckhart's hair. Couldn't they have hired someone to fix it. It looked awful throughout and he tried, like, three different styles. The last thing 3) is my favorite performance in the film: Adam Brody as Rob Lowe's assistant. He plays the role perfectly, with excellent timing and an excitement I am unused to seeing.

George Cukor's Born Yesterday features the performance that beat both Bette Davis's All About Eve turn as Margo Channing and Gloria Swanson's genius turn as Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard. I have generally avoided Born Yesterday for this reason (more solidarity with Ms. Davis: see above). But I was mistaken. This one's a crowd pleaser. The script is wonderful and Judy Holliday is absolutely wonderful. I adored her character and fell in love with her. It's a great star turn and worthy of all its accolades.

Jean-Pierre Melville's Le Cercle Rouge is the epitome of cool. I liked it even better than Le Samouraï. It's not quite as good as Army of Shadows, but, then, few films are. I find Melville's ideas about the prices men have to pay for the things they do slightly objectionable. I prefer Woody Allen's ideas about men (i.e. I like them to get away with things.) The films are so cool, though, that Melville has to be forgiven. Watch Le Cercle Rouge and your teeth will hurt the movie is so fucking cool. I swear to god.

Rainer Werner Fassbinder's Ali: Fear Eats the Soul is a sort-of remake of Douglas Sirk's All That Heaven Allows, the film on which Todd Haynes based his gorgeous Far from Heaven. Fassbinder's film is beautiful and ugly, harsh, soft, shocking, horrifying, sad and dificult all at the same time. I became connected to the characters instantly and the emotional work that Fassbinder is doing is undeniable, but his filmmaking skill is so pronounced, his language so stark and stunning and his references to Sirk so clear, that it's hard not to pay attention to the look of the film and let go of the matter of the film. To do so would be to miss so much, though. Ali is a fascinating, subtle tale with much to say about German xenophobia and fear of "the other" in general.

I'm not sure why everyone is so apeshit about Jean-Luc Godard's À Bout de Souffle (Breathless). It's good, sure, and it's cool. Maybe I'm too old. The only thing I really loved about it was the ending, which is really quiet and subtle... I think that's what I don't love about the film: I feel like it isn't doing anything very subtle, or perhaps the legacy it has left has so overwhelmed the context of the film that I can't see the forest for the trees. Maybe it's been copied so frequently and so poorly that even the original lacks luster for me.

Okay... last one:

Terry Zwigoff's Art School Confidential is stupid. I may have laughed a couple of times. When it is exploring the nature of art and asking us what is good and what isn't, I found the film really interesting, but all of the silliness and its ludicrous cast of characters (every single stereotype imaginable) had no charm for me. I have a lot of bad things to say about this movie: almost nothing good in fact, so I'll shut up now. Suffice to say that I didn't like the film at all. Max Minghella is a cutie, but I hope he sticks to better stuff than this in future. And I so liked Ghost World...

Not What You'd Expect

No one I've spoken with likes Thank You for Smoking. It got rather uniformly good-but-not-overly-excited reviews, but I expected it to connect with the people in my social circle(s) and it kind of hasn't. This, of course, doesn't mean I won't like it. Comedy is a funny thing (ha ha) and my sense of humor is not exactly mainstream. (I'm thinking of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a movie that apparently no one thought was funny except for me.) Anyhow, I've been having a blasé attitude about the film and now I'm feeling even more disinterested.

And now, all of a sudden and out of the blue, everyone I know is talking about Everything Is Illuminated. Now, I saw the trailer for this film at least fifteen times last year and the more I saw it the sillier the movie looked to me. But everyone apparently saw this movie last week because it keeps popping up in conversations I've had this week. And everyone is saying how much they loved it and how funny it was. It doesn't take much of that for me to start feeling as though I am missing out.
...I added it to the Netflix queue.

I'm still really sick over here. I'm going in to work tomorrow, though. I just can't bear sitting at home all day when I could be earning money. Anyway, I bought some Sudafed at the grocery and I'm feeling like I've started to win in the war against this cold. Oh yeah, and I totally dodged a bullet with the satellite dish people. I felt the urge to call and cancel the service (that I do not watch at all) this evening and whaddya know: I'm paid up through April 27th. So I canceled my service as of right-this-minute and now I don't owe them a damn thing: no monthly payments at all. And they're sending me some boxes to ship them back their equipment. So nice.

Boys' Life is opening in, like, ten seconds, by the way, and I'm starting to feel, um, a tad—shall we say... anxious. It's just normal nervousness, of course. Surprisingly, the show looks really good and the direction is not too bad. Brittney and I titled her one-woman show tonight, too. It's going to be called My Mother's Voice Set Me Free. Isn't that a fun title? I think it has a sense of history to it, as well as a sort of rebellious, leftist feel to it. Tonight we worked on this monologue from Pterodactyls by Nicky Silver and I'm starting to get really excited about the material we've chosen for this. All of the pieces are very different from one another and very few of them are popular, well-worn monologues: most of the pieces are new and interesting and sort of virgin. The only two well-known pieces are Betty's monologue from Caryl Churchill's Cloud 9 and Georgeanne from Alan Ball's Five Women Wearing the Same Dress.

I had something else to tell you...

Hm.

Oh. It belongs in a longer post: a kind of rumination on my talents (and drawbacks) as a director. Anyway.

Good night, friends.