My Little Flat I'm Turning That into a Sunday School

Have I mentioned how much I have recently been into the films of Akira Kurosawa?  I watched Rashōmon this morning, much to my delight.  It was only like an hour and a half, but what a movie!  Such good times.  You can see Kurosawa's influence on so many people.  The DVD I got had this whole interview with Robert Altman about how much Rashōmon, specifically, and Kurosawa in general had influenced his career.  Very cool.

I listen to way more Barbra Streisand than is probably healthy.  The USDA would probably have a fit.

Speaking of, I am really pissed about the FDA's decision to not allow the so-called "morning-after pill" for over-the-counter use.  I know you guys have all heard this tirade before, but I just can't even fathom who they hope to help by keeping this drug off the shelves!  Grrr.

Last night, D, Sarah, and I went down to AMPAS for an evening called Shorts!  We left after the first 5.  I would've stayed for the whole program, but the two of them specifically wanted to see the animated shorts and once those were over, they kinda lost interest in the rest of them.  It was fine.  I actually don't know much at all about the live action shorts, so it was fine with me.  But we did get to see Destino: the resurrected collaboration of Salvador Dalí and Walt Disney. 

Hello Dalí! 

Okay, that was a bad pun.  The night's program was as follows: Boundin', Destino, Gone Nutty, Harvie Krumpet, and Nibbles.  As I must have said before, the eventual winner of the animated short oscar was a huge upset to all the predictors, who were predicting either Boundin', Pixar's entry, or Destino.  The winner was the Australian claymation flick narrated by Geoffrey Rush called Harvie Krumpet.  And it deserved to win.  The thing is, though, these predictors must not have seen the films, because the audience was wowed by Destino and Gone Nutty but only lukewarm to Boundin'.  Strange, I thought.  Even I liked Gone Nutty and I really disliked the movie it was based on: Ice Age.

After the movies, we went to Toi on Vine (as usual) and I had the spiciest fucking thing I've ever eaten.  Thank heaven for green tea ice cream to soothe the soul.

Today has moved slowly.  I think when I don't have evening plans, I tend to take the day like molasses.  I have plans now, though, so I have the impetus to do things.  I sat in the sun around 2, and I did some work on Shrew.  Zamora hasn't been in contact with me.  This drives me nuts, but I suppose he is the producer and he can do whatever the Hell he wants.

I had a dream about Leslie last night.  I think we might have hugged in it.  I feel so much more affection for her now that I am not her student. In the dream, someone stole my roommate's car and it was totally my fault.  It was some guy I barely knew who I was sleeping with.  I have no idea what that was about... guilt, probably.

This shirt I bought yesterday is so cute.  It says "Warriors" on the back and on the front it says staff as if I'm some gym teacher in Belmont, CA.  The best part is that the shirt was $7 at American Eagle Outfitters (and I don't admit I occasionally shop there, so don't spread it around.) Cheers.

I wanna feel my heart coming alive again. Before the parade passes by.

More more more... How do you like it?

On the way home from Montclair, I stopped to get my car washed in La Verne, and ran into Robert Demerjian, a former classmate of mine (a year or two younger, I guess, maybe 3.)  He was the valedictorian of his class.  He was studying medicine at UCI, but quit and is now going to PCC with an emphasis in engineering.  He might change again, he says, and go into dentistry.  Because he's lazy, so he tells me, and it's easier to become a dentist.  Lazy lazy lazy.  Stuff comes way too easy for him and he's not interested in research.  These super-intelligent folks, like Robert--not having been challenged by others for most of their youth--if they don't find writing early on, must begin to feel that nothing will satisfy them.  Robert looks like he is having a good time... all smiles and very personable, but clearly more intelligent than the majority of the people at the car wash today.  I wonder if he fears that he will never find anything that he enjoys that he can do for his whole life.  I think this might be a pattern among the very intelligent.  Robert is mostly a man of ideas, but if he has nowhere to voice these ideas, he would feel very lost. 

I don't know what I'm talking about.

A report on All Things Considered goes over different people who knew/know these soldiers who abused these Iraqi prisoners.  Things like "I can't imagine that he would doing anything like this."  "She was such a kind-hearted girl."  "He would never hurt a fly."  "He was always a good person."  I think, perhaps, that it is time that we realize that it is not necessarily our country that is at fault for producing such criminals.  I don't think it is the fault of their parents or teachers.  The blame, in my opinion, belongs with the culture of our military.  Our militaries seek to make animals out of the children we give them.  Our militaries try to make our sons and daughters into killing machines who do not feel empathy in the same way other humans do.  So little Johnny and little Susie may have left Maryland or Virginia or Ohio with a good heart and an honest outlook, but after a few weeks in boot camp, you can bet little Johnny and little Susie were as tough as nails.  I am not saying that military training shouldn't harden civilians into fighters, but once we train them, what is it that we expect from them.  We teach them to kill and torture and brutalize.  Why should we expect anything less than that when they are released back into the world.

Shopping

"I have a girlfriend and a wife."

"And where are they?  Shopping together?"

Today I went shopping with Wahima.  I haven't been shopping for myself in so long and it felt very nice.  Of course, the first thing we did was buy sale stuff at various stores, and then I went into Express.  Sigh.  They have such nice things.  So I bought myself the most beautiful shirt, and the smallest pair of jeans imaginable.  They just looked so good.  I couldn't help myself.

Now, I have not been the biggest fan of M. Night Shyamalan: I liked The Sixth Sense, but I loathed Unbreakable, and I thought Signs was, while not a complete failure, pretty stupid.  But take a look at this!  The poster (if this is what the poster will look like) is genius.  I love this crooked house, and I think the tagline is really ominous and fun.  I don't know if the movie will deliver, as I said, I have my doubts about this guy (and about Joaquin Phoenix), but the early advertising stuff is very cool.

Wow

Wahima wants me to see Van Helsing with her tomorrow.  I agreed, but I thought better of it today at lunch.  I absolutely refuse to put myself through that.  I make promises to myself saying I won't do things I don't want to do.  I'll just resent Wahima for it.

I just finished watching Sleepers.  I thought I'd rent a Brad Pitt movie or two in preparation for Troy.  I'll see about gettin' something else for next week.  Sleepers is FUCKED UP.  Let me tell you FUCKED UP.  Like The Prince of Tides style... well, not as bad as Prince of Tides.  But fucked up nonetheless.  I shouldn't go on about how fucked up it is... emotionally, it absolutely wormed its way into me and then just slew me.  It's really quite a movie.  It's a Barry Levinson movie, so Dustin Hoffman is in it, doing one of his "look at me I'm acting" jobs, and DeNiro is in it too, but his part has no teeth.  Jason Patric is great... Billy Crudup is in it, so I was pleasantly surprised there.  Kevin Bacon is a fucker without a mission... not Paul Newman in Hud, but very good.  (Now that I brought up the always good Paul Newman, I wish he had played Hoffman's part.  He would've nailed it.)  Bruno Kirby is quite good, and Minnie Driver, too.  Brad Pitt is devastating.  

I know, I'm a sap, and not to be trusted, because I cry at everything, but this was an excellent movie.  The writing is a little overdone sometimes, and there's too much voiceover, but man-oh-man, it got me.  I recommend it, but not for the faint of heart.  And, like I said, it ain't The Prince of Tides.  Rent Prince of Tides before you rent Sleepers, unless you're having a Brad Pitt series.

I talked to Scott E. today... to get him to audition for Shrew.  I really want to give him a part.  Not sure which one is right for him yet, but he needs to be guided, and other actors--real actors--are the ones to do it.  Hope this works out.

I was kinda sorta s'pozed to go to see Shakespeare Abridged at CSULB, but I begged off.  I didn't want to drive that far by myself again.  Zamora is not in constant contact with me and I don't like it.  I feel like I need constant updates on status and I'm itching to have a meeting with him.  I guess I will just keep doing my work and wait for him to call the shots.  I suppose that's my job.  I already cut Act I, Scene I.  I am so excited!

These friend tests just make me realize how little I know about the people I love.  Just goes to show, I guess, that it ain't what you know, it's who you know.  I still love you guys, even if I did get below 60 on your stinkin' tests.

Peace out.

Either?

Red Buttons or Scarlett Johanssen?

John Wayne or Vera Wang?

Chess or Chubby Checkers?

Benoît Charest or Benihana's?

"Candle in the Wind" or "Your Song"?

Monica or Rachel?

Miles Davis or Horton Foote?

Atlas Shrugged or Encyclopedia Brown?

Johnny Cash or Benjamin Franklin?

John Ford or Chevy Chase?

I know, I'm retarded... but I'm bored and I'm at work.

Because I'm a follower.

http://girmo.friendtest.com

They have a pepper bar

I love Quizno's. Too bad it is so pricey. Up by my work they have a very nice crew. A cute Asian girl is the manager there and this very cute latin boy named Junior works there too. So cute.

I just finished reading a play at lunch called A Breeze from the Gulf by Mart Crowley. It's Naturalist in style. You might like this for next year, Ash. It has a lot of family fighting. There are 3 people: 2 men, 1 woman.

I'll pass it off to you on Sunday the 16th when we have our meetin'.

Ten countries joined the EU this week. I don't think I can name them all, but that's pretty cool.

And I want to know about this David Souter getting mugged situation. Who mugs Justice Souter? Why is this out of the news? People should be reporting on this. I need to know. And what was Souter doing wherever he got mugged? Probably meeting Kevin Spacey in a dark alley. (Note that I think Justice Souter is a closet 'mo too.) I don't know for sure, but as I see it, if you're a male and you're getting mugged at 4am in public places, you must be in the closet.

By the way, I have been scouring the internet for various tidbits about Troy, of course, and interviews with Mr. Pitt... one of my favorite actors. But all of these retarded interviewers ask him the STUPIDEST questions. Here is Brad Pitt, an excellent actor, in your studio, and all you can talk about is his shirtless Pringles commercials from the early '90s, how long it took for him to get in shape for Troy and his relationship with Jennifer Aniston (who I also think is hugely talented). Give the guy a break, and ask him about his craft. I expect this kind of idiot journalism from people on Entertainment Tonight but Diane Sawyer did the same fucking thing! Brad Pitt is a talented actor, give him a little respect!

Talking to Linda

Coffee coffee coffee.

Linda called me this morning.  I hadn't thought of thanking her for getting me the Shrew interview.  She reminded me to do that.  Good thing.  I would have forgotten, and then maybe I would have just gone on thinking that I got the job myself.  Whew.

I do love that Linda, though.  She is damn funny.  She has me laughing so hard.  She is pushing this play about 3 Shakespearean women onto Ashley for her to do in Winter.  Sounds edgy, Ashley.  Tap it up.  (I'm kidding.)  Three Shakespearean women meet.  Come on.

I need to go to work soon, but I don't want to.

I have Friday off, though.  I am taking my "accountant's day off."  We're supposed to get April 16th, but instead they want us to take it later on in the month, so I'm taking it May 7.  I think maybe I'll go to a matinee of a new movie.  I haven't done that in what seems like ages.  I was thinking about going to Disneyland, but I really have no one to go with.

I know that the night must end.  And that the sun will rise.  And that the sun will rise.

I know that the clouds must clear.  And that the sun will rise.  And that the sun will rise.

I was listening to The Lion King yesterday.  It's so good... but only half of it.  I really skip every other song.  That warthog and that meercat can suck my cock.  They are so boring.  Ditto to the hyenas and Scar.  In the show, they're okay, as I recall, but not on the CD.  On the CD, keep 'em away from me with a ten-foot pole.

Cristofori's Dream

Met Jaime around 9:30p for coffee at Stbks in Pomona.  She was already deep in discussion with this woman Cindy (who of course knows Dennis Logan).  Cindy talked to the two of us for a full hour about all sorts of stuff until Jaime and I sort of ended it.  She was interesting to talk to: a hippie sort of woman, but more intelligent than most hippies one meets.  She's a harpist and a Tolkien fiend and a monotheist and a reformer in education.  She was good times, actually, but Jaime and I so rarely see one another that after an hour it was like, can she please leave so I can see my friend who I never see alone.

Talking with Jaime when we're alone is the greatest.  She's so supportive and wonderful, and we don't just discuss topics of conversation like gay marriage or religion, I feel like when I am with her, I am working through my issues with these topics. It's tough to explain, but we talked about Jai starting to go to church, and she's telling me about church and she makes me want to go back to church just a little... that's saying a lot, I think.

She was telling me about the story of Hannah and her son Samuel... and I remember it of course.  It's such a beautiful story, and Jaime was so moved by the story.  One thing about cutting Christianity out of my life, is that I forced myself to forget all of the myths and stories that are a part of the Christian consciousness.

Cindy said something tonight about how she read the classics when she was little because they were bloody and ended badly and the people in those myths did all sorts of crazy shit.  And it came to me: the endings.  That's why I got hooked on the classics so young... they don't end the way popular stories end.  Lovers are parted or die and heroes are killed or don't get the girl.  Sometimes good wins out, but so rarely.  And I think the line between good and evil is so often blurred.  But this must be why I was drawn to Greek and Roman mythology so young.  Christian mythology is much the same way: even the lovely story of Hannah... she eventually has to take Samuel to Eli at the age of 5 and give him up to God.

Is everyone else as desperate as I am for Troy to open?  Sometimes I think May 14th will never arrive.

I worked on Shrew tonight.  Just did a quick scene breakdown.  I will start the longer notes tomorrow.

I have a job.

So I will be directing The Taming of the Shrew for Prizm Productions from mid-May through mid-July when we'll open.  It should be in next week's Backstage West.  Woo hoo!  I am excited about it.  There is much much work to be done before I cast this thing.  Sooo much work!  I feel alive again.  Life is so strange.

Lectchah

So I was in the middle of posting a lecture in someone else's journal when my computer decided it was going to shut off... so here goes in my own journal thank you very much.

*

It is no good for us to make excuses when it comes to the so-called "real world."  Our work is our work and there really is no "real world."  I don't think that the art you do in your university is any less legitimate than the art you are going to do after you get out of university.  It will be better after you get out (no doubt about that) but legitimacy is a whol other thing, and calling your future work "real" is just another excuse for not working NOW.

Here's the thing.  I can say all I want that the real world isn't read for me, or the real world is too stupid or too shallow or too capitalistic or too frigging retarded for me, and I can say that I never feel appreciated by the real world, but what I am really doing is making excuses for not putting my neck out on the line.  Once again, and I'm going to keep saying this.  I am responsible for my work and my work only.  I am not responsible for people's response to my work unless I can control that.  My task is to do my work, and if I am letting fancy notions about the quote—real world—unquote get in the way of me doing my work then it is I who am at fault, because it is my work that is my responsibility and nothing else.

The work that I do is gonna change.  It has to change, and all the time, or I'll go insane, but if I don't commit to it, I'm not doing what I'm here to do.  I'm the only one holding me back, and I'm the only one who can make me do the work.

A Sad Future

Someone was saying to me the other day how she hears that the real world is just as catty, bitchy, lazy, and insensitive as the university world. She seemed disappointed by this, and I guess it makes sense to be disappointed by this, but my answer is as follows: we train our new theatre artists in facilities like CSUP. If this is where we train new artists for the theatre, why would we expect these artists to suddenly become brilliant and hard-working and "bar-raising" once they hit the professional circuit. They're not going to. They're just going to become miniatures of the professors at their universities, which, I am sorry to say, relegates most of them to life-long mediocrity.

It is up to you, the artists who want to do something new, to make something new, to honestly, sensitively create to be better. It is you who must overcome this. It is you who must raise the bar. Your teachers cannot do this for you. Some of them may not be as talented as you are. The bar may look really low, but some of your teachers may have lifted the bar as high as thy can. You must push yourself. And you must surround yourself with artists who will push you, too. Your accountability can only ever be to yourself.

*Steps off soapbox*

By the way, god damn but it is hot.

Stravinsky

I love my friends. I hung out with D tonight for a long time. Roommate was having some kind of study group, so I just needed to get out of my house.
Derek is just so supportive. We were laughing about our reunion for H.S. It is gonna be in 2007 for various reasons. It is so strange, really, because I think I am so much older and so much happier, that I would go back to my high school and just be a beacon of hope and joy and gay pride... okay, no one would think that, but I would be kind to people and not hateful or bitchy and I would just generally hope for other people to be as happy as I am.
But I know I wouldn't do that. I would be back in high school mode and making fun of people and I would just be Class A Bitch Number One all over again. I know myself and that's what I will do at the reunion: I'll hope women are fat and men lose their hair and I'll just generally be nasty.

How fabulous is Stravinsky's Firebird? Not the one from Fantasia/2000 that is the later version. That one is so crisp and clean and triumphant. I like the original, with all its weird quirks and off sounds. It has reminiscences of Rite of Spring. Beautiful!

I still haven't heard from Zamora. If I don't get this Shrew job, I may turn into Katherina myself and wreak havoc on everyone I know until I get a directing gig. Beware!

I seriously need to go to sleep. I have to go to work tomorrow and Steve will be back from Europe. I'm sad about it.

Updated Film List for 2004

Spring Summer Autumn Winter and... Spring
Dogville
The Return
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Kill Bill: Vol. 2
I'm Not Scared
The Twilight Samurai
Bon Voyage
Good Bye Lenin!
Latter Days
Hellboy
The Ladykillers
Home on the Range
Secret Window
The Dreamers

Shrew

I just finished reading Harold Bloom's take on Shrew and I am more than pleased to report that his take on it is identical to mine.  (I always knew that Bloom was a smart cookie ;) .)

At any rate, I feel a good deal more confident in my ability to direct this piece.  I still haven't heard back from Nick & John, but I guess that is to be expected.  I suppose they have other folks to interview.  :)  Whatever.

I watched To Kill a Mockingbird today.  Great film.  I recommend it to all who haven't yet seen it (which probably was only me).  It's damned hot.  I suppose I could venture out of my house and down to the pool or down to the South Lake district and shop (but not buy).  But I just don't feel like it for whatever reason.  I'm gonna go stir-crazy if I stay in this house much longer, though.  I dunno.

Are mailers going out for this Found Space Festival?  Cuz I ain't seen any.

Congrats to the Cloud 9 folks.  A job well done.