Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

14 February 2026

Kiss of the Spiderwoman (2025)

I’m really not sure why they made this Kiss of the Spider Woman. There's already a novel and a film and a musical. Did we really need this movie musical?

Jennifer Lopez is fabulous and perfect for this part, so no shade at all to JLo's magnificence. I adore her. 

But why bother doing the musical version of Kiss of the Spider Woman if you’re going to cut most of the songs that have emotional impact? There is just no point to a Kiss of the Spider Woman movie without “Over the Wall”, “You Could Never Shame Me”, “Dear One” (which is included in a tiny way but not in a way where it can affect anyone), and especially “The Day after That”, one of the most emotionally impactful songs Kander and Ebb ever wrote. 

Even "She's a Woman" is ruined because it takes place in the movie within the movie instead of being a song that Molina sings. He sings it "in character". It makes no sense, and so it has no emotional impact.

This musical cuts itself off at the knees because it forces all the songs to be diegetic. They can only be there if they exist in the fantasy/musical world. The most recent Color Purple had a similar issue. It’s just so stupid. It pretends the real world doesn't have music. The real world is supposed to be "real", "gritty", "serious". But this doesn't work either because there is only a minimally marked contrast between the art direction for the real world sequences and the art direction for the movie-musical sequences. So it isn’t as if one feels real and the other is marked as artificial. The “real world” in this Spider Woman still looks like a musical. 

I loved Jennifer Lopez in “Where You Are”. It’s the only good number in this movie. The rest of this… I have no idea why they bothered if they weren’t going to do the songs. We already have a movie version of Kiss of the Spider Woman; it came out forty years ago, and it's much better than this.

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