Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

25 April 2004

Kevin Spacey

This is my bitch entry for the week...

Okay, this is what I hear:

On 4/19/04: Hollywood star Kevin Spacey has been brutally mugged in a London park. The Oscar-winner told police he was attacked and his mobile phone was stolen while he walked his dog in south London's Geraldine Mary Harmsworth Park at 4.30am on Saturday. But Spacey - who was treated in hospital for a minor head injury - stunned police by returning to the station where he reported the crime, to withdraw his claim. A Scotland Yard spokesperson says, "He had a head injury and said he'd been robbed of his phone. But he returned and withdrew the theft allegation. As far as police are concerned, there's no crime to investigate."

Then we hear on 4/20/04: Spacey appeared on BBC Radio 4's respected Today show Monday morning to explain the bizarre series of events. He reveals, "I fell for a con and I was, I think, incredibly embarrassed by it. Some sob story about someone needing to call their mother and could they use my phone. It was such a good con that I actually dialed the number myself, and then when someone answered I finally handed my phone over, and this kid took off and I ran after him and it was 4am and I tripped up over my dog and I ended up falling onto the street and hitting myself in the head." The Oscar-winner was so angry and humiliated at the time of the crime, he went to the police. Only after he calmed down, Spacey returned to the station to admit he hadn't been attacked. Spacey says, "I'm extremely upset. I feel like the biggest fool that's ever lived. I march over to the police station and I say I got mugged and I'm thinking that they're gonna run out and find this kid a block later, and of course they take me to the hospital and they were very kind and that's one of the reasons I went back on Saturday morning to the police station. I woke up after a couple of hours' sleep and I thought, you know, there's a difference between assault and theft and it just wasn't on for me to not come clean about my own level of embarrassment, and being humble at the fact that I got taken by the oldest con going. But it probably was good that I got bonked on the head because I obviously wasn't thinking."

Now he's joking that David Beckham paid Spacey to take him off the front page of the papers for a day or two.  Ha.    Ha.

Now, I am not a suspicious person, and I don't usually read tabloid reports (the British press seems to be even worse than the Stateside press), but I have a few questions about this silliness.

First off, let's just stop right here: Why was the man in a dark park at 4am?!?!?  If he would just come out already, he wouldn't have to cruise public places for sex... he could actually try dating someone.  I mean, who is he kidding?