Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. —Henry Fielding

05 June 2004

Self-Abuse and, I suppose, Masochism in General

They really ought to give "cutting" a new name. I mean, it's so vague. You can 'cut a rug' and 'cut a fine figure' and 'cut tension with a knife': surely there ought to be some qualifying term for abusing oneself with a sharp object other than just "cutting."

Nancy brought up the subject of cutting earlier this week. She asked me why people do it. I explained to her the reasons that were explained to me. It all kind of hit me in this odd moment at work. I said, "I loved him" to Nancy and it was so... strange.
I loved Andy so much. It's so weird to think about something like that. I miss him sometimes. I really miss him, too; it's not just the idea of him. I miss his personality. I miss our conversations.
This one time we drove out to the middle of fucking nowhere off of I-10 to watch a meteor shower in late 2001. We just sat and parked and laid on a blanket together on the hood of my car.
One of the questions on "Jeopardy!" today was about the meaning of the Chinese character for his last name. They showed the character for "tree" and then showed the character for "Lin" (it is two "tree" characters stuck very close together.) The question was 'What does "Lin" mean in Mandarin?'
The answer: "Bastard"
Who knew?

Love to all.
(It really means "forest," in case the clues didn't give it away.)